A wake up call that got me out of denial...

panda4153

ladyzherra wrote: »

Girl, I am hearing you. Husbands sometimes aren't what we need as we move forward, grow, change. He may be kind; he may be honest. That's not for you. What is for you is your journey, your needs, and you deserve to feel supported and loved through that no matter what. No excuses. Depression is real and you need to explore that if you'll lose weight successfully for the long term, and that may involve take a hard look at your husband and criticizing him about what no longer makes YOU happy. Your journey is actually not about him, although he certainly matters in your journey. Sounds like you are really in a place of hurt and in need of deep care. When your spouse fuels the pain, look elsewhere. Therapy is a great start. Support groups, girl friends, asking yourself to reconnect to your passion s, speaking your mind, aski g for help, the list goes on. But hubby not being attracted to you is not your lroblem, girl. No way. Let that go. In no way is that your concern. What is your concern is your mental health, and your physical health... For YOU, my friend. We wives and mother's can do without a husband who doesn't stand beside us and lift is up on OUR journey. I am not saying this is the case for you. But heads up: it's the case for most women I know, I cludinv myself four years ago before I got a divorce after ten years in a psychologically abusive marriage. Sometimes you take a hard look to survive

I think it is a huge jump to make that the husband is a problem here. She is obviously struggling, and it is very very difficult to see someone you love struggling. He was honest with her about how its affecting the relationship, but it does not sound like what he said was cruel or intentionally hurtful. As adults in a relationship we need to be able to be honest with one another, compassionate but honest. Only the OP can say for sure but if anything it sounds like her husband wants nothing more then to support her and help her, and if anything wants to prevent the deterioration of their marriage. Too many times people sit silent because they are afraid of being honest about how they feel, and instead it festers inside and destroys the relationship before anything can be done to prevent it.

adotbaby

I was in the same situation as you, for decades, then decided that I had to do something to get the weight off and be healthy. I am back down to my single-person weight of 30+ years ago and never felt better. It has taken almost two years, with many speed bumps. Most of the time I feel good, but waves of depression come in and I have to ride it out, even on meds. Take it one day at a time, or even one meal at a time. It'll be a good example for your children to see you being active and investing in your well-being. I'm really proud of you, it's so hard to take that first step and commit to getting healthier. You can do this ☺