Am I being rude?

AlsDonkBoxSquat

I'll be his friend, I'll even take my own gluten free bread for the soup and split a tasty gluten free dessert with him.

It's his ****ing birthday, so yes you are not only being rude but also selfish. He wants to spend his birthday with YOU.

You can always modify everything on a menu to get it into your comfort zone. If nothing else sit there and drink water and keep him company.

Lleldiranne

My opinion: When a diet starts interfering with your ability to live your life, celebrate with your family, etc, then it's gone too far.

Does this mean you have to celebrate with food? No; at least, not every time. But it's your brother's birthday, and it sounds like he specifically wants you to celebrate with him (trust me, this is a big deal! Some people would do anything to have a relationship with siblings where they want to be around each other!), and he's specifically requested that restaurant. So go.

You don't have to go overboard. Order something on the smaller side and ask for a box; box up half before you start to eat and you've already cut the calorie "damage" in half. Eat slowly and enjoy your time with him, and if you don't finish, that's fine. And what you take home can be 2 meals later, or you can give it to someone who would appreciate being though of like that. And if it makes you feel better, eat at a bit more of a deficit the rest of the week so you are still and a decent overall loss.

shannongoneau

go and have only half a meal and save the rest for later

JasonAxelrod

Go along and just get a glass of water and enjoy the conversation. You don't have to eat, and it isn't "rude" of you to not order something. If he understands how important this is to you, he'll be okay with it or, as you said, he'll just make other plans to go to this place with someone else.

What matters is what YOU find important. If I enacted the "it's just one day" concept every time something like this came up, "just one day" would turn into "quite a few days" across the month, or the year, and because I need structure and limitations and the avoidance of indulgence due to impulse control issues and compulsive/binge-eating disorder, I don't do that kind of thing.

I don't buy that you'll be missing out or that you'll regret not going if you truly don't want to go, but I do think there is a big difference between completely blowing off your brother and actually making an effort to join your two lifestyles together.

Maybe you can compromise and find another place that has the same soup but you can also eat at. Maybe, as I suggested, you can go and just have a drink. Maybe you can make other plans to spend time with him.

It's his birthday, yes, and you should celebrate with him in some way and show him that you acknowledge your relationship, but that doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice your efforts, even for just one meal, if you don't feel comfortable doing so.

JellyBeanQueen86

So what you are saying is your intake for ONE DAY is more important than a special occasion with your brother?

Okay then....:noway:

Rude & Selfish

Um.. he is your brother, how would you feel if he just gave you the money and said go on your birthday? Suck it up and go.

^^^ all of this!

Family and friends are WAY more important then freaking food!!!

He just wants to spend it with you.

Just go! You never know what might happen between now and then... it could be last moment you get to spend with him, because you never know what is going to happen. Make every moment count. Forget about diets! just make smart choices if you have to go out for dinner.
But dont cancel plans with family because of it!


UNLESS you hate your brother and actually dont want to spend time with him then dont go :P

debbash68

Dump your brother, stay thin! Not srs.........