Food Addiction

So, I want to hold my hands up and admit I have an issue with food and I know I'm not alone so I'm asking for advice.

I secret eat. I am an emotional eater. I use food for comfort, for happiness, for sadness. Food is always there.

How on earth do I start to rewire my brain to see food as fuel.

I have been paying for a personal trainer for the last 3 weeks, I've lost nothing in weight, and that's because I'm still eating all the rubbish I know I shouldn't.
What a waste of money! But I'm not giving up the PT!

I am hormonal at the moment, I'm stressed, someone's upset me, someone's moody and bringing me down with their mood etc, lately all my eating is down to negative feelings.

Despite having a fairly healthy breakfast and lunch, I top it up with those extras afterwards.
Pop to the shop on my lunch break, get myself a sweet and a savoury snack, but I'm not paying 90p for a normal size of crisps when I can pay £1.10 for a massive share bag, so I get that, wanting my money's worth.
I hide it in my bag in the office and reach down every so often to take something.

On the way home I pop into a shop, buy something to munch for the drive home. I eat everything before I get home and either hide the evidence in my car or quickly put it in the bin outside before anyone sees me.

I'm on a to depressants already. I thought about getting a SAD lamp....?

Are there people I can visit to change the way I think with food?

When I was a kid, when treats were bought, such as biscuits, we would all eat them straight away, no one saved anything or limited ourselves, and it's a habit I've stuck with. I could easily go through a pack of hobnobs.

I need ways to stop eating the extras. It shouldn't be this difficult.
Every morning and night I think it'll be a good day, but then I blow it.

Tips very welcome

Replies

  • lemurcat2
    lemurcat2 Posts: 7,885 Member
    I also like the idea about eating only in the open. It wouldn't have necessarily worked for me (and I still eat most meals in private), but secret/private eating (and drinking, when I drank) was a big part of the disordered activity, for me.

    Thoughts I had:

    (1) Yes, you absolutely can see a therapist about this. Group discussions with others dealing with the same thing can be helpful too if available (or even here, to some extent).

    (2) A lot of people like the approach in the Judith Beck books (it's a CBT approach) -- Beck Diet Solution, for one. You might find reading this helpful.

    (3) For me, and I'm not fully sure why it worked when it did as at other times I had trouble getting myself to do it, journaling and small goals really helped. Mindfulness in general. I started a journal with daily, weekly, and monthly process goals, including things I totally had control over (things like walking or exercising or cooking at home). I'm not sure this goal bit is necessary, it's just how I structured it and what was helpful for me. More significant for you, perhaps, is that I used it as a journal -- I had a structure for my eating that was intended to make emotional eating -- my big issue -- impossible, as I would have 3 meals, and no snacks. If I wanted to eat between meals I would allow myself (at first) raw veg that I brought to work. If I was really dying to eat something or just wanted to, even, I'd take a minute to write in the journal about what I wanted and why I thought I did and perhaps a bit about the meal that was waiting for me later to try to channel any food thoughts to that. The increased awareness of what was behind the "I want to eat this now" feelings were extremely helpful for me. I also did some other stuff (some would say touchy feely) like if I was really feeling like I needed to have something now or if I simply felt upset or overwhelmed or "I need this feeling to go away now I cannot stand it," I would sit silently and try to let myself feel the feelings. There was (is) something in my brain that is convinced that I must be protected by blotting out difficult feelings and realizing that in fact I could deal with them (that feeling upset or sad or anxious was something I could let myself experience) was important.
  • threewins
    threewins Posts: 1,455 Member
    You want tips. You've paid for 3 weeks of a trainer. That's starting to get expensive. My suggestion is to get a book on food addiction. My recommendation is Food Addiction Recovery Workbook by Carolyn Coker. It has writing exercises. See if your local library has a copy. Or if you can interloan it. Try other books as well.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
    Some great ideas here! I'm doubling down on the therapy suggestion.

    One thing that helped me -

    I quit bringing money or a debit card to work. Can't pop into a shop if I don't have any money.

    When I had to bring my purse to fuel my car, or something, I started leaving it in my trunk (boot). The time it would take to unlock the trunk and get my purse out was enough to stop me.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,876 Member
    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be really good for stuff like this.

    There is also an organization called Overeaters Anonymous.
  • AlaskanJem
    AlaskanJem Posts: 4 Member
    @threewins I am so getting this book. I feel naïve but i didn’t know there were books about this! I am terrible and it’s literally something I think about every day, all day. All day. 🙏🏻💪🏻
  • gallicinvasion
    gallicinvasion Posts: 1,015 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be really good for stuff like this.

    There is also an organization called Overeaters Anonymous.

    You’re like me! Cognitive behavioral therapy has been absolutely life-changing for me.

  • singin5447
    singin5447 Posts: 7 Member
    @Yarrum84
    I felt your angst in your post and felt compelled to respond. Snacking is not my challenge; for me it is portion control. But I have some suggestions none-the-less.

    Try portioning out your meals so you are eating frequently through the day. And plan those snacks right in. Eat 5 or 6 times a day if you need too. If you know the drive home is a challenge make sure you have a portion controlled snack with you. And like a few others have mentioned, journal it all out in advance. I try to plan at least one day ahead. Consider planning your snacks first, and then build the rest of your meals around that.

    Consider doing some research on glycemic index and controlling your blood sugar. There might be something useful there to help curb cravings.

    This isn't my first kick at the can, lost over 125lbs before. But I fell off the maintenance wagon. But I know it is do-able. Keep looking for that light bulb moment where your brain says I want this. That's the magic bullet.

    Be gentle with yourself.
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    I have nothing to add to everybody else's wisdom but just wanted you to know, so many of us are you. I've hidden my eating from others. I've hidden food for my own consumption. I used to buy whoopie pies and cookies during grocery shopping, drive around town just so I could eat them before going home.

    I've lost/found weight so many times in so many ways through out my lifetime, it makes me want to cry. Finally, at 66 I hope I've gotten to a place in my life where I can maintain now. My health is of utmost importance now; it should be the ultimate reason at any age but it really hits home when you know your healthy years are quickly going by.

    Having a PT, I think, is a good idea. Do they offer suggestions with eating, etc.? I'd use them for any/all advice you can get. (I've never had one so really don't know). It's ultimately your own unique journey through this so you need to find what will work for you. Some people say keep a journal, write down all your feelings as to why you feel the need to eat, etc. I never could keep to it because I was always eating. Between eating/writing, it would've been a full time job. :blush: I do think finding a good compassionate therapist would help you unlock some inner secrets. But you need to find someone who will listen, and give good feedback, help you create realistic goals. And you need to be patient, with whatever you choose to do. This takes time. You will have set backs but as long as you get right back to it and not give up the rest of your efforts, you will reap the benefits!!

    Wishing you the best of luck!!!!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,876 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be really good for stuff like this.

    There is also an organization called Overeaters Anonymous.

    You’re like me! Cognitive behavioral therapy has been absolutely life-changing for me.

    I never did it for food issues...fortunately, I've never really had them. I did do it for generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder and I'm going to start again for my alcohol issues.
  • gallicinvasion
    gallicinvasion Posts: 1,015 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be really good for stuff like this.

    There is also an organization called Overeaters Anonymous.

    You’re like me! Cognitive behavioral therapy has been absolutely life-changing for me.

    I never did it for food issues...fortunately, I've never really had them. I did do it for generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder and I'm going to start again for my alcohol issues.

    I started it for food issues, and along the way, discovered I needed help with anxiety/panic stuff and digging into why those things were all happening. Now I have my weight management and way-of-eating tweaked to where I feel absolutely healthy and have a HUGELY BETTER relationship with food. But the underlying issues (having a tough time dealing with anxiety related to perfectionism, people pleasing,etc) is what we’re digging into now.
  • katermari
    katermari Posts: 137 Member
    Yarrum84 wrote: »
    So, I want to hold my hands up and admit I have an issue with food and I know I'm not alone so I'm asking for advice.

    I secret eat. I am an emotional eater. I use food for comfort, for happiness, for sadness. Food is always there.

    How on earth do I start to rewire my brain to see food as fuel.

    I have been paying for a personal trainer for the last 3 weeks, I've lost nothing in weight, and that's because I'm still eating all the rubbish I know I shouldn't.
    What a waste of money! But I'm not giving up the PT!

    I am hormonal at the moment, I'm stressed, someone's upset me, someone's moody and bringing me down with their mood etc, lately all my eating is down to negative feelings.

    Despite having a fairly healthy breakfast and lunch, I top it up with those extras afterwards.
    Pop to the shop on my lunch break, get myself a sweet and a savoury snack, but I'm not paying 90p for a normal size of crisps when I can pay £1.10 for a massive share bag, so I get that, wanting my money's worth.
    I hide it in my bag in the office and reach down every so often to take something.

    On the way home I pop into a shop, buy something to munch for the drive home. I eat everything before I get home and either hide the evidence in my car or quickly put it in the bin outside before anyone sees me.

    I'm on a to depressants already. I thought about getting a SAD lamp....?

    Are there people I can visit to change the way I think with food?

    When I was a kid, when treats were bought, such as biscuits, we would all eat them straight away, no one saved anything or limited ourselves, and it's a habit I've stuck with. I could easily go through a pack of hobnobs.

    I need ways to stop eating the extras. It shouldn't be this difficult.
    Every morning and night I think it'll be a good day, but then I blow it.

    Tips very welcome

    every single thing you have posted here, i feel every single day.
    i am here, i can relate completely.
  • cory17
    cory17 Posts: 1,361 Member
    I relate to this as well.
    I eat after hubby goes to bed. I bought a bag of skinnypop popcorn and finished it in 2 days this week at work. Couple nights ago, box of GS cookies leapt in front of me and attacked. This is despite trying to not consume sugar. I workout or swim every weekday. Was bulimic for a bit in my teens. Start everyday with good intentions and they don't last too long. I'm trying to be more accountable and hold ME responsible for my emotions only. But I think about food/want to eat constantly when at home. I joined a binge eaters FB group. Would like to have a "normal" relationship with food.
  • JuneyJo
    JuneyJo Posts: 181 Member
    I’m a food addict. My doctor diagnosed me and suggested I look into Food Addicts In Recovery and Food Addicts Annonymous. I can’t get to the meetings so I save their info on Pinterest.
    The #1 thing they recommend is to reduce/eliminate sugar and other simple carbs. Those are the items to which most people are addicted. When I followed a veggie-heavy keto diet, my addiction started to wane. As soon as I started “cheating” around the holidays, I fell right back into my bad habits. I also gained almost 20lbs.
    I’ll stand in the kitchen after everyone goes to bed and start grabbing snacks. The voice in my head starts yelling “You don’t want to do that! You’re going to be upset with yourself!” But I just can’t seem to listen.
    Maybe we can work together to support and encourage each other to break the addiction. ❤️
  • BuiltLikeAPeep
    BuiltLikeAPeep Posts: 94 Member
    @Yarrum84 you sound just like me. I was diagnosed with BED/bulimia years ago. I can no longer afford therapy, but little things have helped me a lot in the last 8 months or so. I always make sure that I have the MFP widget on the home screen of my phone with remaining calories, so I can take a quick look and decide whether or not I want those chips/candy/etc. I have made several substitutions for junk food and soda. I also read labels on good packaging. And I always log more food and less exercise here. I also rely on my measurements (chest, waist and hips) rather than the scale. I hope this helps. I sent you a friend request.