I’m out of control!

Louise13162

I just turned 58 and the last 7 years have been emotionally difficult for me. So what do I do? I feed my feelings and now I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. A comfortable weight for me was always 140-145 lbs. I’m now 206lbs! I didn’t weigh this much when I was pregnant! In the past, a 1200 calorie diet worked well for me if I had to drop a few. Now I feel so overwhelmed that I’ll stick to 1200 calories but give up after a few days. I’m just reaching out to anyone who could offer some motivation and support. Thank you

Nony_Mouse

Did you set your weekly weight loss amount to 2 lbs? Your deficit may be too aggressive, making you less likely to stick to it. If so, try lowering it to 1 lb per week.

Have you tried talking to a professional (counsellor, therapist) about the emotional side of things? Using food to self comfort can be a very hard habit to break if you don't have replacement strategies in place.

Best of luck.

Louise13162

Thank you. At my age 2 lbs a week might be too much to hope for. I’ve talked to my Dr. about my emotional eating and she gave me some referrals, I just need to make an appt. I’ll try anything at this point.

amusedmonkey

Think of it like this: 1 lb, or even 1/2 lb a week for a whole year is way more progress than 2 lb a week for 3 days. Slow down, take it easy, make sustainable changes, and work with your doctor on the emotional eating. It won't be easy, but it will be rewarding.

88olds

You can do this. Start by getting control of the process. Weight loss is a set of things to do. You can start doing them right now. But there’s a significant learning curve. You know that saying about how we learn from our mistakes? It applies to weight loss. You know that saying about how nobody is perfect? It applies to you and applies to this. Going forward look on missteps as problems to solve, not evidence of failure. The only way to fail is quit.

Start by gathering some information. Use the MFP calculators to check a few numbers. Find your number to maintain weight where you are right now. Then the numbers to lose .5 lbs, 1 lb and 2 lb per week. Try to make a plan. Don’t jump to the conclusion that you absolutely must hit the 2 lb per week number. Look at how you live and eat now? What foods to you like? Which ones do you think will work in a weight loss plan? What do you think you can do without? What do you think would leave you feeling deprived if you had to do without it? Can any of your favorites be modified to make them workable? What can you fit in occasionally or by limiting the portion?

Try a few days eating at your maintenance number. Try out the .5 and 1 lb loss numbers. Not to just see if you lose weight but to see how you are living. The key to successful and lasting weight loss is a livable downward trend. A plan the we won’t actually follow is not a good plan. Be careful about the lines that you draw, you have to live with them.

Start a food diary and record everything that has calories. And keep your diary going no matter what. Over your number, even wildly over? Log everything. Get and use a food scale whenever possible. Make your food diary the center of your effort and you will never be out of control again. Sure, you will go over your number sooner or late. It’s not possible not do this without missteps and lapses. No human undertaking can be done mistake free. Just how it is.

But the purpose of your food diary is to identify problems. You succeed by solving them. Maybe your brain is screaming right now that you can’t do all that weighing and measuring. Or maybe that you absolutely have to eat 1200 calories and no more. And that you have to do this as quickly as possible because you’re so upset by how you are living now. Tell that voice to shut up. That kind of thinking has led you to where you are and will keep you stuck. Embrace the weight loss process and the scale will follow. Calorie counting supported by a food diary works. You can do it. Keep posting when you encounter problems and never quit. You’ll see.

RoseyandReady

Slow and steady is working for me. I was 195lbs all last year until the fall. I ate my emotions, didn't get any exercise- the fitbit opened my eyes to that.

Got back on to MFP, joined some support groups, logged food and moved more. Started just by walking more each day. This went on for weeks and I still walk every day even when I exercise at home. Now I'm down 21 pounds as of today's weigh in.

I'm putting my faith in the process and to just keep going. I keep thinking, I wondering where I will be by March 31st, by April 30th, June 30th and so on. Gives me something to look forward to. I do mini goals, like it's easier to focus on dropping 10 pounds at a time VS focusing on 40.

IMO: 1200 calories would be very rough to start out. Giving yourself some time to live your new lifestyle may help. My calories are set at 1360 as of today. MFP lowers the calories as your weigh lowers, seems to help get adjusted to eating less calorie dense foods and get creative with what I would like to eat. Yes, I do let myself have a treat here and there if it fits in my log.

I feel for you, I could have written the same post. I'm wishing you all of the strength and determination to reach your goals.

cherys

Hi Louise,
I sympathise. I'm the same. Heavier now than when pregnant with twins! It gets depressing and then that's a self-defeating cycle.
My advice to myself (not that I always follow it but I am trying to) is:

Find lots of comfort treats that are nothing to do with food and whenever you need a treat, go for one of those.

For me these include Epsom salt baths, bubble or oil baths, face masks, eyebrow threading, change of nail polish, trying out perfumes in a store, playing an online game for 10 mins, watching you tubes videos of favourite songs or cute animals, meditation or affirmation videos, 5 minute kettlebell, HIIT or yoga videos, Ted talks, getting inspiration for updates to the house on Pinterest, feeding the birds and watching them, going for a walk in nature, using a sauna, steam room or jacuzzi, buying a magazine, new novel or new notebook, planning a holiday, browsing dream homes on Rightmove, watching comedies (set yourself up to succeed and not snack during them by making big pot of fruit tea and sipping it so you don't crave snacks.)

Celebrate successes at work or in the family by going to a gig or to the theatre not out to dinner.

Make a list of food treats that really are treats for you but are also super healthy. My husband always buys croissants for Sunday breakfast. I explained this was not helping me, so now he picks up a punnet of blueberries too and I am very happy with blueberries and fresh coffee instead. So fresh berries, freshly popped corn, fresh mint tea etc are good.

Plan to combat the times when you usually fail. Mine's 4pm. A while since lunch but hours until dinner. If I have ready chopped carrot and cucumber sticks and shredded iceberg prepped, I'm less likely to sneak a bag of the teenager's snacks.

Does any of this help?