Advice Needed
laurenebargar
Posts: 3,081 Member
Hi Everyone, hoping to get some advice I feel like I have been spinning my wheels. Ive been on MFP for about 3 years now, I went from 217-158 and recently (over the past year) have gained about 25 pounds back, its been about 3 months of trying to lose weight and I have just maintained this entire time. I never got to my goal which was a healthy BMI (145) and that is still my goal I am still trying to get too. I'm 5'4 if that helps
I know why I am gaining weight, I am eating too much. I have tried a few different calorie goals: 1,200 , 1,500 and 1,800 and cant stick to any of them for more than a few days without having a day where I wind up way over my calories and wipe out my deficit. I guess I just dont understand what to do, I used to stick to 1,200 no problem ever and now I cant stick to 1,800 even after a diet break.
I recently started at the gym and have been going casually a few times a week and every night I walk my dogs 1-2 hours a night, if it werent for these things I would probably be gaining so quickly. I work in an office so during the day I am pretty sedentary.
I guess I am looking for some advice on what I can do to get out of this cycle because doing the same thing over and over again is getting me nowhere. Anything would be appreciated, as a heads up I do weigh my food when I can, but on days when I am way overeating, that goes out the window, my diary is open and filled with alot of recipes because I do 99% of my cooking at home.
I know why I am gaining weight, I am eating too much. I have tried a few different calorie goals: 1,200 , 1,500 and 1,800 and cant stick to any of them for more than a few days without having a day where I wind up way over my calories and wipe out my deficit. I guess I just dont understand what to do, I used to stick to 1,200 no problem ever and now I cant stick to 1,800 even after a diet break.
I recently started at the gym and have been going casually a few times a week and every night I walk my dogs 1-2 hours a night, if it werent for these things I would probably be gaining so quickly. I work in an office so during the day I am pretty sedentary.
I guess I am looking for some advice on what I can do to get out of this cycle because doing the same thing over and over again is getting me nowhere. Anything would be appreciated, as a heads up I do weigh my food when I can, but on days when I am way overeating, that goes out the window, my diary is open and filled with alot of recipes because I do 99% of my cooking at home.
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Replies
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I feel for you. My workplace is my biggest problem. I bring a meal and snacks to work, but recently started to ditch my food for takeout, which tastes better (and of course has loads more calories). I was also starting to buy a few things from the vending machine again.
I stopped my slide by leaving my bank card at home. I only carry $3 cash, enough for one coffee. I don't have payment apps on my phone. Playing Mean Mommy to myself has turned everything around. My one concern was what if I have an emergency, but I have medical insurance and car insurance and I live close to my workplace, so I'm not worried about it.
Another idea: look in the challenge section on the forums and join a challenge that appeals to you. You can do this!2 -
I know when I first change my calories I have a hard time getting in the groove. Keep working at it.
If you've been on here a while you already know your calorie needs for weight loss, I'm guessing.
Log your food. Best tool there is. Log on those over-eating days ESPECIALLY. That helped me a lot, to look at the numbers and think about what was going on - why was I over-eating. Hiding from my FOOD page never served me.
My body kept the score even if I didn't put it in my food diary, so what was I gaining by the secrecy? We're only as sick as our secrets; from others and from ourselves.8 -
just_Tomek wrote: »Is there anything that makes you feel satisfied or full for a long time? Some ppl get satiated by fat, protein, carbs etc. For me its volume. I need to "feel" full. To the point of almost bloated and then I dont want to even think about food. I am able to achieve this by eating huge volume of leafy greens with all of my meals.
Set your calorie goal as per MFP, and see what foods you can eat to get under that. If you like veggies that will be easy.
Have a look at the "volume eaters" thread for some ideas.
I definitely used to be a volume eater, I guess maybe I was eating more volume when I was originally at 1,200 calories, I still have that thread bookmarked maybe ill look back through it today thank you!1 -
I feel for you. My workplace is my biggest problem. I bring a meal and snacks to work, but recently started to ditch my food for takeout, which tastes better (and of course has loads more calories). I was also starting to buy a few things from the vending machine again.
I stopped my slide by leaving my bank card at home. I only carry $3 cash, enough for one coffee. I don't have payment apps on my phone. Playing Mean Mommy to myself has turned everything around. My one concern was what if I have an emergency, but I have medical insurance and car insurance and I live close to my workplace, so I'm not worried about it.
Another idea: look in the challenge section on the forums and join a challenge that appeals to you. You can do this!
I did join a challenge and I enjoy it so much but it hasnt stopped my overeating, takeout really isnt my downfall I can bring food for lunch at work, and then when I get home eat 500 calories before dinner and wind up at maintenance.0 -
cmriverside wrote: »I know when I first change my calories I have a hard time getting in the groove. Keep working at it.
If you've been on here a while you already know your calorie needs for weight loss, I'm guessing.
Log your food. Best tool there is. Log on those over-eating days ESPECIALLY. That helped me a lot, to look at the numbers and think about what was going on - why was I over-eating. Hiding from my FOOD page never served me.
My body kept the score even if I didn't put it in my food diary, so what was I gaining by the secrecy? We're only as sick as our secrets; from others and from ourselves.
I do my weight loss calories, although I never was working out before so I am very hesitant with those calories, I feel like I log my food as best I can when I overeat and ive done it so many times its lost its effect on me. Its a great point though that my body keeps score. I have my calories set to 1,500 right now and I think ill just try to really stick to them for a few weeks and see if I can get used to it, ill try some volume eating recipes as well that was suggested to me above. Its frustrating because ive done this before but this time it is so much harder1 -
As an alternative.....
How many days a week can you stick to a sensible deficit?
If your upper calorie limit is at maintenance level then any days when you feel you can and do stick to a deficit will progress you towards your goal. Direction not speed so to speak.
Realising that dieting to lose weight didn't have to be a 7 days a week grind was a ground-breaker for me, it allowed me to fit my diet around my lifestyle rather than making it a full time preoccupation. The feeling that food restriction stetched months into the future was demotivating and many times resulted in me falling off the wagon and making no progress rather than slower but relatively painless progress.9 -
laurenebargar wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »I know when I first change my calories I have a hard time getting in the groove. Keep working at it.
If you've been on here a while you already know your calorie needs for weight loss, I'm guessing.
Log your food. Best tool there is. Log on those over-eating days ESPECIALLY. That helped me a lot, to look at the numbers and think about what was going on - why was I over-eating. Hiding from my FOOD page never served me.
My body kept the score even if I didn't put it in my food diary, so what was I gaining by the secrecy? We're only as sick as our secrets; from others and from ourselves.
I do my weight loss calories, although I never was working out before so I am very hesitant with those calories, I feel like I log my food as best I can when I overeat and ive done it so many times its lost its effect on me. Its a great point though that my body keeps score. I have my calories set to 1,500 right now and I think ill just try to really stick to them for a few weeks and see if I can get used to it, ill try some volume eating recipes as well that was suggested to me above. Its frustrating because ive done this before but this time it is so much harder
1500 PLUS a couple hundred on those exercise days?
You don't have much to lose, and under-eating isn't helpful either. :flowerforyou:
You'll figure it out. There is always a period of, "chomping at the bit," in the beginning. Stay the course.4 -
laurenebargar wrote: »I did join a challenge and I enjoy it so much but it hasnt stopped my overeating, takeout really isnt my downfall I can bring food for lunch at work, and then when I get home eat 500 calories before dinner and wind up at maintenance.
Some questions I would think about:
Do you have trigger foods at home, particular foods where you can't control your eating? If so, I wouldn't keep them in the house.
Are you actually hungry or bored or just need a treat?
Can you save some calories for when you get home?
What about a filling but lower calorie soup? I like the Amy's brand. They have a split pea soup that's filling and only 100 calories per cup. Hot no-calorie drinks like tea and coffee are satisfying to some people and might help.
1 -
As an alternative.....
How many days a week can you stick to a sensible deficit?
If your upper calorie limit is at maintenance level then any days when you feel you can and do stick to a deficit will progress you towards your goal. Direction not speed so to speak.
Realising that dieting to lose weight didn't have to be a 7 days a week grind was a ground-breaker for me, it allowed me to fit my diet around my lifestyle rather than making it a full time preoccupation. The feeling that food restriction stetched months into the future was demotivating and many times resulted in me falling off the wagon and making no progress rather than slower but relatively painless progress.
Some weeks I can go 4 days, and this isnt a "going crazy" on the weekend type thing, it could be a Tuesday when I just am having a day where nothing fills me up. Other weeks its 2 days on then 2 days off. I guess I never thought about either having a few deficit days and then sticking to maintenance other days, that actually is an interesting idea.
My only concern is if I go over my maintenance calories then I will wipe out whatever tiny deficit I had managed to create during the week, but ive never tried it this way before, maybe ill give it a go!3 -
cmriverside wrote: »laurenebargar wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »I know when I first change my calories I have a hard time getting in the groove. Keep working at it.
If you've been on here a while you already know your calorie needs for weight loss, I'm guessing.
Log your food. Best tool there is. Log on those over-eating days ESPECIALLY. That helped me a lot, to look at the numbers and think about what was going on - why was I over-eating. Hiding from my FOOD page never served me.
My body kept the score even if I didn't put it in my food diary, so what was I gaining by the secrecy? We're only as sick as our secrets; from others and from ourselves.
I do my weight loss calories, although I never was working out before so I am very hesitant with those calories, I feel like I log my food as best I can when I overeat and ive done it so many times its lost its effect on me. Its a great point though that my body keeps score. I have my calories set to 1,500 right now and I think ill just try to really stick to them for a few weeks and see if I can get used to it, ill try some volume eating recipes as well that was suggested to me above. Its frustrating because ive done this before but this time it is so much harder
1500 PLUS a couple hundred on those exercise days?
You don't have much to lose, and under-eating isn't helpful either. :flowerforyou:
You'll figure it out. There is always a period of, "chomping at the bit," in the beginning. Stay the course.
Ill definetly add back some exercise calories as well on the days that I am exercising, Ive been taking about 25% of what my fitbit says I burned and adding those back to my diary!2 -
laurenebargar wrote: »I did join a challenge and I enjoy it so much but it hasnt stopped my overeating, takeout really isnt my downfall I can bring food for lunch at work, and then when I get home eat 500 calories before dinner and wind up at maintenance.
Some questions I would think about:
Do you have trigger foods at home, particular foods where you can't control your eating? If so, I wouldn't keep them in the house.
Are you actually hungry or bored or just need a treat?
Can you save some calories for when you get home?
What about a filling but lower calorie soup? I like the Amy's brand. They have a split pea soup that's filling and only 100 calories per cup. Hot no-calorie drinks like tea and coffee are satisfying to some people and might help.
It seems like no certain food sets me off, but if I eat at all when I get home from work it sometimes will put me into the overeating mode. Last night for example dinner wasnt going to be ready for two more hours, it was 6pm and I had lunch around 12 so I had some zucchini, and then it just went downhill from there, I also had peanut butter and cereal after that, and was still feeling really hungry, I waited for dinner and then ate that too.
I think after work I am actually hungry, but later on in the night I think I just need a treat, and sometimes when I dont have calories left I still want that treat so I have it. Being bored does occasionally play a factor as well.
I think soup is a great idea, I do love Amy's brand too, maybe ill try making something like that around 3 or 4 at work, I leave directly from work and walk my dogs with my husband for about an hour or two, so maybe this will help and I will eat less at dinner as a result. Its worth a shot at least.2 -
What works for me (granted I am eating on a more intermittant fasting schedule due to my morning workouts and when we have dinner - so first meal is at 11, lunch is at 3ish and dinner is at 7:30) is having some protein at 5-6. I am lazy and don't want to eat high sodium lunch meat etc so I usually go with a decent protein drink like Iconic or Evolve. The chocolate is pretty good and it sates me. I get more protein, its 130 calories and I don't snack on salty, carby foods that I cannot control portion size ie chips,popcorn, etc. And drink tons of water....before you eat anything, down a glass of cold water. Or have a cup of hot tea. Sometimes that redirects your food thoughts. You have been successful on MFP so that is fantastic. Keep going, mix things up, try some new workouts. You will get there!0
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This used to be one of my issues also. I don't eat less at meals when I snack beforehand and if I am making food and am hungry I take way too many tastes and licks. I found that I need to go ahead and eat an actual meal when I am hungry and not try to stave myself off with snacks. Now I try to make sure that I already have something made for dinner or have something quick to make when I get home from work. A lot of the time this also means my husband and I eat at different times but he understands and supports me.laurenebargar wrote: »It seems like no certain food sets me off, but if I eat at all when I get home from work it sometimes will put me into the overeating mode. Last night for example dinner wasnt going to be ready for two more hours, it was 6pm and I had lunch around 12 so I had some zucchini, and then it just went downhill from there, I also had peanut butter and cereal after that, and was still feeling really hungry, I waited for dinner and then ate that too.0 -
I'm struggling with the exact same problem. Starting weight in 2009 was 210 and my ending weight was 161 which was still 9lbs away from my goal but I decided that I was happy where I "landed". I maintained that weight for 4 years but my numbers slowly started to creep up after 4 years of maintaining. I used to work with a trainer twice a week the whole time I was maintaining but it got to be a financial burden and I told myself I could do the workouts without the trainer. Apparently not because after a year I'd go up 5 and then maintain for a few weeks then i'd go up 5 more and then back down.. It was a vicious cycle. One year ago I quit smoking and instantly gained 15 pounds. I'm currently sitting at 187 and I just can't make the scale budge. I am good about maintaining my calories throughout the week. The weekends are what kill me, especially the alcohol. I drink white claw but they still have calories even if they are low carb. The most frustrating part is I know what I need to do but I can't seem to get there. Maybe I need to consider the trainer to push me again.
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That was what i was going to suggest - either have your dinner earlier, or factor in some healthy stuff - maybe some carrots and houmous, or whatever? But eating soon after you get home would be best i should think.1
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laurenebargar wrote: »I think after work I am actually hungry, but later on in the night I think I just need a treat, and sometimes when I dont have calories left I still want that treat so I have it. Being bored does occasionally play a factor as well.
A couple of things I would think about:
1) if dinner is often a long wait away, can it move earlier in the evening by clever food prep so it’s never more than 20mins away from when you get home?
2) could you plan a snack right before you leave the office? At one point I had a green smoothie every afternoon to stop a blood sugar crash on my way home and this also stop inhaling everything in the kitchen while dinner was cooking.
3) can you set a meal routine that has a clear End? I finish off both lunch and dinner with a piece of fruit. It counts as dessert and once I’ve had that it triggers that the meal is over. Same thing with weekend breakfasts, when my coffee is finished I’m done eating. These triggers help me stop meal time from spilling over.
4) if boredom leads to snacking, can you find an evening pastime that involves your hands? I know I’m a lot more likely to snack in front of the TV than with a book, and even less so if I play computer games. A face mask will also prevent me from eating for 20 min at which point most cravings pass.
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What works for me (granted I am eating on a more intermittant fasting schedule due to my morning workouts and when we have dinner - so first meal is at 11, lunch is at 3ish and dinner is at 7:30) is having some protein at 5-6. I am lazy and don't want to eat high sodium lunch meat etc so I usually go with a decent protein drink like Iconic or Evolve. The chocolate is pretty good and it sates me. I get more protein, its 130 calories and I don't snack on salty, carby foods that I cannot control portion size ie chips,popcorn, etc. And drink tons of water....before you eat anything, down a glass of cold water. Or have a cup of hot tea. Sometimes that redirects your food thoughts. You have been successful on MFP so that is fantastic. Keep going, mix things up, try some new workouts. You will get there!
I normally meal prep my lunches, maybe I should meal prep a protein heavy "snack" of around 200 calories to have when I get home from work, or to have around 4pm at work and see if that helps, Ill check out those protein drinks today when I go to the store, that might be a good alternative, I could drink one on my way home each day, I have about a 40 minute drive!1 -
tracybear86 wrote: »
This used to be one of my issues also. I don't eat less at meals when I snack beforehand and if I am making food and am hungry I take way too many tastes and licks. I found that I need to go ahead and eat an actual meal when I am hungry and not try to stave myself off with snacks. Now I try to make sure that I already have something made for dinner or have something quick to make when I get home from work. A lot of the time this also means my husband and I eat at different times but he understands and supports me.laurenebargar wrote: »It seems like no certain food sets me off, but if I eat at all when I get home from work it sometimes will put me into the overeating mode. Last night for example dinner wasnt going to be ready for two more hours, it was 6pm and I had lunch around 12 so I had some zucchini, and then it just went downhill from there, I also had peanut butter and cereal after that, and was still feeling really hungry, I waited for dinner and then ate that too.
Yes exactly, some nights I do something different than my husband but he really enjoys cooking so I try to save calories for bigger dinners because he enjoys it and this is how I originally lost weight, but, maybe I need to switch it up because its not really working.0 -
Pipsqueak1965 wrote: »That was what i was going to suggest - either have your dinner earlier, or factor in some healthy stuff - maybe some carrots and houmous, or whatever? But eating soon after you get home would be best i should think.
I think I am going to try to meal prep some sort of snack and have it around 4pm, ill try it for about a week and see what happens. It seems like the later I eat the less likely I am to snack after dinner, but if I wait too long I get way too hungry. The earliest I get home from walking our dogs is 6:30 so dinner will always be at least 71 -
LeannJeffers wrote: »I'm struggling with the exact same problem. Starting weight in 2009 was 210 and my ending weight was 161 which was still 9lbs away from my goal but I decided that I was happy where I "landed". I maintained that weight for 4 years but my numbers slowly started to creep up after 4 years of maintaining. I used to work with a trainer twice a week the whole time I was maintaining but it got to be a financial burden and I told myself I could do the workouts without the trainer. Apparently not because after a year I'd go up 5 and then maintain for a few weeks then i'd go up 5 more and then back down.. It was a vicious cycle. One year ago I quit smoking and instantly gained 15 pounds. I'm currently sitting at 187 and I just can't make the scale budge. I am good about maintaining my calories throughout the week. The weekends are what kill me, especially the alcohol. I drink white claw but they still have calories even if they are low carb. The most frustrating part is I know what I need to do but I can't seem to get there. Maybe I need to consider the trainer to push me again.
I also gained about 15 lbs when I quit smoking, that took about 3 months to lose but my weight has crept up again, if the trainer was working for you before maybe try it again! But if its a financial burden maybe you could find an alternative. I went to a spinning class recently and couldnt walk for a few days it was so challenging! I was confused because I regularly use the bike at the gym, turns out I wasnt challenging myself at all, now that I know what a good workout on the bike feels like, I know what to do!0 -
Is it possible to do some batch cooking at the weekend, prep some things the previous night, or use a slow cooker? For me on week nights I need dinner to be ready to eat within an hour, any longer than that gets really difficult.
On days I know it has to be later, I'll have something small late afternoon. Otherwise I end up ravenous and eat everything I can get my hands on.1 -
laurenebargar wrote: »What works for me (granted I am eating on a more intermittant fasting schedule due to my morning workouts and when we have dinner - so first meal is at 11, lunch is at 3ish and dinner is at 7:30) is having some protein at 5-6. I am lazy and don't want to eat high sodium lunch meat etc so I usually go with a decent protein drink like Iconic or Evolve. The chocolate is pretty good and it sates me. I get more protein, its 130 calories and I don't snack on salty, carby foods that I cannot control portion size ie chips,popcorn, etc. And drink tons of water....before you eat anything, down a glass of cold water. Or have a cup of hot tea. Sometimes that redirects your food thoughts. You have been successful on MFP so that is fantastic. Keep going, mix things up, try some new workouts. You will get there!
I normally meal prep my lunches, maybe I should meal prep a protein heavy "snack" of around 200 calories to have when I get home from work, or to have around 4pm at work and see if that helps, Ill check out those protein drinks today when I go to the store, that might be a good alternative, I could drink one on my way home each day, I have about a 40 minute drive!
This is exactly what I was going to suggest
Going to long without food and getting too hungry often leads to unplanned overeating.1 -
littlegreenparrot1 wrote: »Is it possible to do some batch cooking at the weekend, prep some things the previous night, or use a slow cooker? For me on week nights I need dinner to be ready to eat within an hour, any longer than that gets really difficult.
On days I know it has to be later, I'll have something small late afternoon. Otherwise I end up ravenous and eat everything I can get my hands on.
I should look into some slow cooker recipes, I honestly havent used one in so long that might be a good option though!0 -
laurenebargar wrote: »LeannJeffers wrote: »I'm struggling with the exact same problem. Starting weight in 2009 was 210 and my ending weight was 161 which was still 9lbs away from my goal but I decided that I was happy where I "landed". I maintained that weight for 4 years but my numbers slowly started to creep up after 4 years of maintaining. I used to work with a trainer twice a week the whole time I was maintaining but it got to be a financial burden and I told myself I could do the workouts without the trainer. Apparently not because after a year I'd go up 5 and then maintain for a few weeks then i'd go up 5 more and then back down.. It was a vicious cycle. One year ago I quit smoking and instantly gained 15 pounds. I'm currently sitting at 187 and I just can't make the scale budge. I am good about maintaining my calories throughout the week. The weekends are what kill me, especially the alcohol. I drink white claw but they still have calories even if they are low carb. The most frustrating part is I know what I need to do but I can't seem to get there. Maybe I need to consider the trainer to push me again.
I also gained about 15 lbs when I quit smoking, that took about 3 months to lose but my weight has crept up again, if the trainer was working for you before maybe try it again! But if its a financial burden maybe you could find an alternative. I went to a spinning class recently and couldnt walk for a few days it was so challenging! I was confused because I regularly use the bike at the gym, turns out I wasnt challenging myself at all, now that I know what a good workout on the bike feels like, I know what to do!
Now that I don't have the trainer I realize she was the only thing pushing me. I go to the gym 4-5 times a week but I do 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of weights, I know that is only helping me maintain and not lose.
I will look into doing some classes. I am hoping that once spring arrives here I can get outside and be active too.0
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