Scale causing depression

leelee_lani

This is my third time using MFP and am a pro at yo-yo dieting. I get discouraged by the scale not moving quick enough and give up too soon every time. This time I’ve decided to only weigh myself every 5 weeks mostly for the calorie goal adjustments. I didn’t weigh myself to start with this time because I knew it would make me feel sad and hopeless, then got on the scale this week for my 5 week weigh-in and was shocked at the number. It’s was about 10 lbs more than what I was expecting and I’ve been in a serious funk since then. I even broke down and cried.
I’m wondering if I should just stay away from the scale all together or buck-up and face the scale as a necessary tool. I’m pretty motivated this time to lose the weight because I’m turning 40 this summer and really want to get below 200. I’m currently 223. Anyone have success not doing weigh-ins or is it necessary for success?

hlr1987

Sending hugs, and it's natural to be down if you've built up the expectation even more in your head by avoiding the scale. Confronting yourself (not the scale, that's a piece of metal) is a really hard thing to do, and it takes courage to accept where you are, and say OK, so this is my starting point, let's move forward. You can do it, and there's a lovely community here to help in the difficult points.

If you don't want to weigh in, maybe pair it with a measuring tape? I use the scale daily but I'm practicing saying, hey that's interesting because... and correlating it with where I am in my cycle, what I ate for tea the night before, how much water I drank, exercise I did. Its an exercise in taking the power out of a peice of inanimate equipment. Some days it works, other days not but its a work in progress. What I love doing, is a measuring tape that I've covered in a different marker pens and at the end of my period each month (for consistency in bloating), drawing the line for belly button, bra line, hips etc. Seeing the progress there always gives me a buzz.

kellyswimmer

I weigh myself every day. You get use to the ups and downs each day. But if the trend is down than thats good.

ghiagirl893

I've read about someone switching their scale to kgs, so that they can still weigh themselves but don't have to see the numbers in pounds. Progress pics and measuring tapes are good ideas too. Just keep going. Don't let yourself yoyo back up. Be determined that you'll do it this time and that you're never going back

elisa123gal

If you feel depressed and sad and demotivated...don't weigh yourself. But..on the other hand... you don't want to kid yourself. You may just need to tweak your diet a bit and the pounds will start coming off. Use another non threatening way to make sure you're making progress. A tight pair of jeans ...or jeans that won't zip up.. and also a blouse or top that won't button or is tight. That way you get a read on your total body. Try those garments on a few times a week to keep yourself on track.

Also weigh you food and every single bite.

88olds

The calendar is not a helpful weight loss tool. I urge you to rethink.

Unfortunately MFP plays the projection game right along with us. My experience has been that what’s needed in weight loss is a downward trend and the ability to live with it long term. When I got that into my head, I started to see that time could be on my side. The things that I might have done to speed up the process (all various forms of deprivation or suffering) turned out to be the reasons I wanted to rush in the first place. If we are satisfied with how we are living there’s really no reason to hurry.

What if you get to goal weight 6 months after your birthday but never regain what you lose? Is that a reasonable trade off? You can look back years from now and think, “I sure am glad I made those changes way back when.” The significance of a few months more or less will fade.

Embrace the process. You don’t need a calendar to lose weight. Don’t let your brain wreck you with a made up deadline.

ploomka

Now that you know the number, you can use that with height and activity level to calc your calories needed for deficit. Then you can stick to measuring tape or clothes that you’d like to fit into. If you are precise about your food measurements, you’re hydrating appropriately, and you’re honest with your food diary, then you will lose weight, barring any medical issues you may have. If you aren’t seeing tape progress with consistent caloric deficit, then maybe check in with a doctor. After a while, you may find you want to check in on your weight because you want the data. Wishing you the very best!

ploomka

Should’ve mentioned: I did my first 6 months with no scale. When I finally checked in, I had lost over 50 lbs.

NalaBellyFIT

I weigh myself every day, and some days... it is hard. If I’ve had a great couple of days, but the scale goes up, it’s hard to see the bigger picture and not let it demotivate me.

That said, I think that it is a very powerful accountability tool, but we need to remember to take it as empirical data and that alone. You might find that now being past the shock of your initial weigh in, the scale may be friendly to you. Just remember the big picture. You’ve got this!

JessalynLord

Everyone who is saying “tweak things and it’ll eventually work” has had very different experiences than most of us.

leelee_lani

Thanks everyone for the support and helpful tips. I’m determined this time to lose the weight and keep it off!

omelet2000

I weigh once per week , which is just right for me. It takes me away from the emotional ups and downs of daily weighing, but it’s just enough feedback that I can adjust week to week . If it’s up any given week it’s at least some motivation to try again the following week . I’ve never had it go up two weeks in a row .

pslansky

@leelee_lani I often dread the scale too. I know when it’s gonna be a good or bad weigh in by how I feel even before stepping on. Sometimes I skip the weigh in since, as many others have said, it is truly about the downward trend. I’m also an expert at past yoyo-ing my weight but believe I’ve found the correct motivation and right reasons this time. I’m also not “dieting” this time. So when the family orders a pizza I have a slice, just a slice and not a whole “daddy’s pizza” as before. I’m going for sustainable eating habits, and that makes for ups and downs but I’m still on a trend of losing a few pounds here and there. More importantly, I’m feeling better. I think part of the better feeling is the weight loss, but even the weeks I stay even I feel better knowing I didn’t go up. I’ve thought about skipping the scale all together since it’s more about how my clothes fit and how my body feels. However, I still enjoy the reward of a good weigh in as an affirmation of when the hard work has paid off. I guess we each have to find what works for ourselves and is a positive influence. Beating one’s self up is not a sustainable strategy, and if the scale does that then find something else that will reward you for YOUR hard work!

littlegreenparrot1

For me personally I find it works better to concentrate on exercise, I weigh every few weeks to monitor, but the number isn't very important to me.
My value is not dependent on my weight.
Last weekend I did my longest run so far at 18 miles, that's phenomenal for me. The fact I haven't lost a pound for 3 weeks is much less important.

All I'm suggesting is that It might be worth looking at other measures for success, they will probably have a positive impact on weight, but hopefully not the same emotional impact.

emmamcgarity

I did not have a scale when I started MFP this time (it was lost in Hurricane Harvey). I made the decision to enter a weight guess into MFP and get started counting calories. And I made the plan to buy a scale after I finished installing baseboards in my home. 5 weeks later I bought a scale. I knew I had lost weight over those 5 weeks because my clothes were areleady loosening up. But my first weigh in was 5 lbs higher than I had guessed. I was definitely sad to know I had originally gained more than I thought. As for my strategy going forward, I gave myself permission to step in the scale any time I wanted “for science” but would only record Monday morning weigh ins into MFP. I personally found that weighing multiple times per day helped me learn more about the constant fluctuations that have nothing to do with fat loss. I set my goals focused on tracking consistently and incorporating consistent fitness goals and trusted that the weight loss would happen over time. I also started listening to podcasts that help me stay focused and motivated.

If you’ve struggled with yoyo dieting, you might consider listening to the Half Size Me podcast. It really helped me change my mindset. I’m much more confident in my fitness goals now than I was at the beginning of this journey. But the first few months were definitely tough to stick to. Finding balance over time helped a lot.