I’m always gonna be unhealthy

Katie_Anne804

I am really struggling right now to be happy with my body. All of my weight is in my tummy and I have tried and failed so many times and I just feel hopeless and lost. But here I am trying yet again but I know it won’t last long. I wish I had a better support system because my family is tired of hearing me say that I am getting healthy and then stopping after a week or two

eryn0x

First I am really sorry you’re feeling so down and defeated. This community is really supportive of you are willing to do the work. However, when you say you know it won’t work, it won’t. Everyone will assure you that success is a long and slow process. You have to be willing to stick to SMALL changes for a LONG time. You won’t see your goal soon but you’ll start seeing progress. Best of luck deciding to change.

DAN1ELGRU88

Same above really. community and support helps loads. Make some friends in here .. try it out.. helps put you in the right frame of mind every day.

PAV8888

Katie_Anne804 wrote: »

I am really struggling right now to be happy with my body. All of my weight is in my tummy and I have tried and failed so many times and I just feel hopeless and lost. But here I am trying yet again but I know it won’t last long. I wish I had a better support system because my family is tired of hearing me say that I am getting healthy and then stopping after a week or two

This begs the question, sorry, but it does!

What does it mean to you exactly when you say "I am getting healthy"? What is the end goal that would win the definition of "I achieved healthy"? Random Examples to get an idea as to what your goal really is: I am now eating x servings of vegetables and fruits a day. OR, separately, I have now lost x amount of weight. OR, separately, I can now run 5km non stop. Or, separately, I no longer have a tummy. OR, separately, I now love my body. It could be some. It could be all. But it would be nice in terms of figuring out how you get from a to b to specify what b really is and evaluate where a is really located.

Then...

what is it that you do each time in terms of implementation? Have you been changing your implementation approach each time, or are you planning to power through more so than before this time?

is this about 5 or 10 lbs within normal weight, or is this about 50 or 100 lbs starting from above normal weight?

Is this an attempt with an end goal, or is this part of a standard, let's call it social "maintenance" routine where you concentrate for a while to being "healthier" and then loosen up and then start up again?

Curious. No need to answer either. Just think about it. If you aren't changing anything in terms of your approach and implementation... why would the end results be different this time around?

nighthawk584

tough love.. if you think you are going to fail, YOU WILL. Stop being so negative and just do the work it takes and you will succeed. No more excuses.

Mr_Healthy_Habits

Honestly, what worked for me...

Don't look at the situation and say "I'm getting healthy"
Don't try to change your life around in a day

Make small changes over time...

You're not getting healthy, you're simply making one small change, then another, and another...

Once you start seeing that progress, your momentum will increase until its just automatic...

Best wishes to you 💕

steveko89

Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »

Honestly, what worked for me...

Don't look at the situation and say "I'm getting healthy"
Don't try to change your life around in a day

Make small changes over time...

You're not getting healthy, you're simply making one small change, then another, and another...

Once you start seeing that progress, your momentum will increase until its just automatic...

Best wishes to you 💕

QFT

Incremental improvements compatible with your lifestyle are far more sustainable.

Stay positive, trust the process, and accumulate small victories.

gallicinvasion

Also, you don’t have to tell your family. You will be making changes for yourself and your own habits; it would be NICE to have their support, but in the end it’s all in your own follow-through.

In fact, I would argue it’s even better to not tell them. Your small changes toward your goal should be so small and simple (and only one at a time) that external people won’t necessarily notice it. For example, you can identify your first habit as “drink 64 oz of water a day and track it.” Don’t change anything else. Then after a week or two of really solidly getting this habit down every single day, add your next identified small habit (for example, maybe it’s “track my water and my breakfast every day.”). Once you have that down after a week or two, add a new one (“track my breakfast, lunch, and snacks every day without fail.”). You will be building up your own stack of small wins and reassurance that YES you CAN make changes and stick with them. You can stay focused and won’t have to worry about distractions from friends and family telling you different things you should be doing, or telling you they won’t be supportive, or challenging you.

Each small habit you get down is another step towards your goal, which is eventually (I would imagine) “identify the way-of-eating and way-of-working-out that fits easily and happily in my lifestyle and allows me to reach and maintain my health goals.” Every habit change helps you uncover more of what your perfect way-of-eating is, and what other small things you can tweak to get there.

snowflake954

I, too, am confused. What exactly does "healthy" mean to you?

NovusDies

My idea of getting healthier is to try and make tomorrow's version of myself slightly healthier than today's version. My goal is mostly about the process of the day not where it ultimately leads. I can take a day in 24 hours. I cannot tackle several months, or in my case, years in 24 hours so I do not worry about the rest. I focus on the small amount I can accomplish today because it adds up in a big way. If today goes poorly I get up tomorrow and start the new day.

dtmwed

Try to make small changes first. Also, take it one day at a time. Replace one meal with just meat and veggies then see if you can do another. See if you can meal prep one week to help with the changes. Healthy is very subjective though. What are you looking to do? If you are looking to lose weight you can literally have ice cream every day and still lose weight. You just need to build it into your calories.
It's a long journey, but giving up won't make it happen quicker.

Tim_Veal

Katie here are some things that I've learned...

• Life is way harder that I expected. It's tremendously hard, and it's made harder by malevolence and our expectations of instant gratification.
• But I've also learned that I am way stronger than I expected.
• The instant gratification thing isn't helpful, but moving the needle in a small way every day eventually gets you to your goal.

I believe that you WILL be healthy if you decide to be, and make the effort every single day to get there.

I'd be happy to journey with you - - I'm right at the beginning of the journey also.

KyaLeanGreen

Katie_Anne804 wrote: »

I am really struggling right now to be happy with my body. All of my weight is in my tummy and I have tried and failed so many times and I just feel hopeless and lost. But here I am trying yet again but I know it won’t last long. I wish I had a better support system because my family is tired of hearing me say that I am getting healthy and then stopping after a week or two

Oh hun I’m struggling with the same thing. It’s all about mind over matter. Feed off of their ignorance thinking you can’t succeed. You got this! Add me and let’s do this together ❤️❤️

NovusDies

Tim_Veal wrote: »

Katie here are some things that I've learned...

• Life is way harder that I expected. It's tremendously hard, and it's made harder by malevolence and our expectations of instant gratification.
• But I've also learned that I am way stronger than I expected.
• The instant gratification thing isn't helpful, but moving the needle in a small way every day eventually gets you to your goal.

I believe that you WILL be healthy if you decide to be, and make the effort every single day to get there.

I'd be happy to journey with you - - I'm right at the beginning of the journey also.

Making the effort most days is good enough. It is not nor does it need to be a perfect process. I have lost a lot of weight not always doing the right thing but doing the right thing most of the time.

Getting healthier has hard parts but it should not all be hard. If it is it is time to rethink the method. The only people that survive being miserable 24/7 and lose weight are people who are either disordered or thrive on hardship.

There internet and magazine racks have made a moral good out of fast or flashy weight loss. That type of thing does not usually end in success. However, I a doing quite well with slow, easy, boring, and imperfect.

Katmary71

I agree with all the advice you've been given, you need to do it for you and making changes gradually would help ease into it. My support is limited. This community as awesome, you have the forums and can post asking for friends, it's very inspiring to see what others are doing, cheer each other on, and get food and exercise ideas. They understand the frustrations as well. I'm not that healthy even at maintenance. I came across an old journal entry where I'd been hospitalized for a week for pancreatitis and my liver enzymes were real high, I was in pain from fatty liver disease and throwing up all the time because of it, just diagnosed with diabetes, and bed-ridden from chronic pain. No one was going to help me, I had to make the changes for myself. most of that is better now, but even now that I'm doing all the right things my blood pressure's up. There's always challenges but it's worth fighting for your health. I decided another year wasn't going to go by with me being as sick as I was and not doing something about it.

PAV8888

KyaLeanGreen wrote: »

Oh hun I’m struggling with the same thing. It’s all about mind over matter. Feed off of their ignorance thinking you can’t succeed. You got this! Add me and let’s do this together ❤️❤️

I need to own my disagree on what, on the surface of things, is an extremely inspirational and hopeful post.

I would love to see both of you succeed.
Succeed, to me, means not only achieving your short term goals, but also achieving your long terms goals.
In the case of losing weight this would mean losing the weight in the first place, and continuing to be able to maintain the loss.
In the case of starting an exercise program this would mean starting an exercise program, and then continuing to exercise for the foreseeable future.

Multiple years of experience and trying to put mind over matter indicates that it is AMAZING what you can do when you put mind over matter. There is little doubt in my mind that MOST people would be able to see significant, amazing even, results, for a certain length of time by putting mind over matter.

But did you notice the part about a certain length of time? Mind over matter works for a month. For two months. For three months. For six months even. But unless you've also laid in some ground work where you are NOT DEPENDING on mind over matter... no, it doesn't keep on working for the long term.

This does not mean you shouldn't try and succeed. TO THE CONTRARY. You should.

But you should start thinking about strategies that will ensure long term success.

No matter what you will STILL NEED mind over matter to succeed.

But it would be better if it is not your only or even your main tool!

brenn24179

oh you can do it, stop being negative. I have had 30 lbs off that I lost 2 years ago, if I can do it anyone can. I love food. Read some positive stuff like becks diet solution or pull it up on line. You can do this!