How to get my mother to lose and maintain weight ?
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saynow111
Posts: 125 Member
My mother is 59 y old she doesn't know English and not know about dieting enough
Her bmi is 45 ❕❕❕
I am going to ask
even if she know lose several Kgs how to get her to maintain them
It is difficult skill
She is morbid obese
Any good ideas about that ??
Her bmi is 45 ❕❕❕
I am going to ask
even if she know lose several Kgs how to get her to maintain them
It is difficult skill
She is morbid obese
Any good ideas about that ??
1
Replies
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Generally one can not force another to lose weight unless they want to.
If your mother is open to a discussion and learning then she would be doing it for herself, but other then that, she has to want it.7 -
I agree with the above comment. We can't make other people do what they should do, whether it's losing weight, stopping smoking, or any other big change.
However, I also believe little moments add up. It's better to speak up at least once than stay silent if a loved one has a life-threatening problem.
You could have an honest talk (if you haven't done that already). Tell her you're worried because she's so overweight, that you love her, and don't want to lose her.
You could ask her to talk to her doctor or someone to advise her about her food, and help her make an appointment if she will agree to go.
You could also find out if she would accept a gift of a gym membership (except most of them are closed right now) or some other activity that would help her to be healthier.
In the end, though, she has to make the decision.2 -
You can change a pet's weight because they are pretty much forced to eat mainly what you give them. You can't do that for another person.
You also cannot worry about maintenance before she has figured out her process of weight loss. That will take some trial and error. A lot of people know how to diet but very few know how to lose enough weight to get to some sort of goal.
You can't really know what she needs to do for herself and having you involved in her weight loss might be disastrous. I wouldn't have wanted someone telling me each time I ate an entire pizza I was doing something wrong because it didn't conform to THEIR ideas of weight loss. I did what worked for me. Treat food helped me lose a lot of weight. On the other hand some people cannot moderate some treat food so if I eat a cookie it is no big deal. For someone else eating a cookie leads to eating an entire package of cookies. As I said it requires some trial and error but it all starts with eating less and moving more.
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You can only do you.
Maybe your example will be a motivator for her and get her to ask for some advice from you.2 -
I agree with the above comment. We can't make other people do what they should do, whether it's losing weight, stopping smoking, or any other big change.
However, I also believe little moments add up. It's better to speak up at least once than stay silent if a loved one has a life-threatening problem.
You could have an honest talk (if you haven't done that already). Tell her you're worried because she's so overweight, that you love her, and don't want to lose her.
You could ask her to talk to her doctor or someone to advise her about her food, and help her make an appointment if she will agree to go.
You could also find out if she would accept a gift of a gym membership (except most of them are closed right now) or some other activity that would help her to be healthier.
In the end, though, she has to make the decision.
Most doctors are not trained enough to advise people about food. She would need to see a registered dietitian or equivalent if she is not in the US.
I would only tell her that if or when she wants to pursue getting to a healthier weight state to let me know what resources I can help her to obtain. I would steer clear from offering advice or putting emotional pressure on her.1 -
Most doctors are not trained enough to advise people about food. She would need to see a registered dietitian or equivalent if she is not in the US.
I would only tell her that if or when she wants to pursue getting to a healthier weight state to let me know what resources I can help her to obtain. I would steer clear from offering advice or putting emotional pressure on her.
You may have misunderstood my comments.
I agree with you that most doctors aren't trained to advise people about food. However, a doctor could definitely tell her she has a serious health problem. That might get her moving.
I also agree not to nag her or put emotional pressure on her or any loved one with a serious problem.
But I also don't believe in staying silent and never saying anything over a life-threatening problem, leaving her to figure it out for herself especially if she doesn't know English and is an English-speaking country. If the OP hasn't done it, I suggest having at least one honest talk. An honest upfront talk and offer to help with appointments is the way I would go, and if she says no, then that's her decision, but the OP will have pointed out the problem and offered to assist. My two cents.
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Most doctors are not trained enough to advise people about food. She would need to see a registered dietitian or equivalent if she is not in the US.
I would only tell her that if or when she wants to pursue getting to a healthier weight state to let me know what resources I can help her to obtain. I would steer clear from offering advice or putting emotional pressure on her.
. . . leaving her to figure it out for herself especially if she doesn't know English and is an English-speaking country.
This is confusing to me. Obesity and weight loss aren't English-language-only concepts. People speaking other languages have the same range of ability to communicate around these concepts.
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janejellyroll wrote: »
Most doctors are not trained enough to advise people about food. She would need to see a registered dietitian or equivalent if she is not in the US.
I would only tell her that if or when she wants to pursue getting to a healthier weight state to let me know what resources I can help her to obtain. I would steer clear from offering advice or putting emotional pressure on her.
. . . leaving her to figure it out for herself especially if she doesn't know English and is an English-speaking country.
This is confusing to me. Obesity and weight loss aren't English-language-only concepts. People speaking other languages have the same range of ability to communicate around these concepts.
I'm guessing this alludes to not having access physically to the necessary information? Not being able to talk to a local doctor, dietician, etc.1 -
Most doctors are not trained enough to advise people about food. She would need to see a registered dietitian or equivalent if she is not in the US.
I would only tell her that if or when she wants to pursue getting to a healthier weight state to let me know what resources I can help her to obtain. I would steer clear from offering advice or putting emotional pressure on her.
You may have misunderstood my comments.
I agree with you that most doctors aren't trained to advise people about food. However, a doctor could definitely tell her she has a serious health problem. That might get her moving.
I also agree not to nag her or put emotional pressure on her or any loved one with a serious problem.
But I also don't believe in staying silent and never saying anything over a life-threatening problem, leaving her to figure it out for herself especially if she doesn't know English and is an English-speaking country. If the OP hasn't done it, I suggest having at least one honest talk. An honest upfront talk and offer to help with appointments is the way I would go, and if she says no, then that's her decision, but the OP will have pointed out the problem and offered to assist. My two cents.
It is easy to misunderstand a person on a message board.
With that said I assume she has been to a doctor since being obese and has been told. I would also think she didn't need to be told because obesity and the resulting implications are more well known now.
I knew it was a problem the entire time I was obese. The older I got the more pressing the concern became but my weight loss efforts kept failing because I had the wrong ideas about what to do.
I could be wrong and she really doesn't understand the health risks but I firmly believe she feels the physical limitations that the weight presents. There have to be some things she can't do and a number of things that she can't do easily.
I think it is more likely what she needs is hope for change. Hope that it is possible and will not require joyless eating and endless hours of sweaty and exhausting exercise.1 -
You can't. She has to make the decision for herself.3
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janejellyroll wrote: »
Most doctors are not trained enough to advise people about food. She would need to see a registered dietitian or equivalent if she is not in the US.
I would only tell her that if or when she wants to pursue getting to a healthier weight state to let me know what resources I can help her to obtain. I would steer clear from offering advice or putting emotional pressure on her.
. . . leaving her to figure it out for herself especially if she doesn't know English and is an English-speaking country.
This is confusing to me. Obesity and weight loss aren't English-language-only concepts. People speaking other languages have the same range of ability to communicate around these concepts.
I'm guessing this alludes to not having access physically to the necessary information? Not being able to talk to a local doctor, dietician, etc.
The OP lives in Egypt.
Presumably his mother also lives there and is not plugged into the internet and would have a language barrier using MFP.
@amusedmonkey may know of any Arabic calorie counting sites or apps? I found something called mdiet... but I am searching in English...
That said, the OP also is early on in the process of his own weight loss. If I were him I would join @NovusDies's group and would learn about gradual and persistent weight loss... and maintenance and would let my example serve my mom in a few years.
If she notices his success a year or two from now and sees him taking reasonable measures that improve his health... she might get interested too!
1
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