Grieving in Quarantine

Sorry this is a downer of a post but I really need ideas. I lost my Dad last week from lung cancer. It has been brutal. The death is bad enough but funeral planning over zoom isn’t fun and actually not having a funeral at all is awful. The worst is not even being able to hug my mom. She just doesn’t want to take the chance of having the family together and one of us getting sick. It’s awful.

Does anyone have any suggestions of something nice I can do for my Mom? She’s really hurting and I just feel helpless. People have been sending flowers and dropping off food. Any other ideas? We have been doing occasional zoom chats. Hope all of you are well.


  • Anna022119
    Anna022119 Posts: 544 Member
    So sorry to hear this. Maybe write beautiful memories of your dad? You can read them out over zoom. Just a short memory each day?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 16,040 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss. Big virtual hug! I don’t have many suggestions other than writing and mailing her / dropping off a letter or making a video. Things she can read or see when she needs to feel your support.

    How are you doing?
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    Oh...I'm sorry for your loss. Do you (or other family members) have digital pictures of your father that perhaps your mother doesn't have or has never seen?

    If so, there are online services that can take all those photos, create a customized photobook (including any words you want to put on the cover) and mail it to your mother.
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,467 Member
    edited April 2020
    And short stories of childhood memories. Ask siblings to contribute.
    Sending hugs and best thoughts.
  • GrumpySparkles
    GrumpySparkles Posts: 50 Member
    I'm so sorry. Have people send short videos of funny stories about him to you, and compile it all into one video for her.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,570 Member
    I'm so sorry. Are you planning to have a funeral or memorial at a later date? My family has done this on several occasions pre-coronavirus.

    Does your mother attend church? Can her spiritual leader there reach out to her? If not, does the funeral home have suggestions for grief counseling?

    Do you have access to photo albums? For my Dad's funeral I scanned a whole bunch of photos and made a slideshow, which can also be sent as an email to be viewed on a computer.

  • that_night_in_paris
    that_night_in_paris Posts: 457 Member
    My condolences 😟

  • Bananabeats
    Bananabeats Posts: 73 Member
    My condolences too. Maybe just let her know you are there for her even if it means being available throughout the night for phone calls. Just letting her know she can reach out when she feels the need to. Knowing that she has your support and unconditional love would mean the world - I'm sure already knows however it doesn't hurt to keep reminding her. Sending a virtual hug for you and your mother ❤
  • cdubks88
    cdubks88 Posts: 3,573 Member
    So very sorry for your loss. As others have said, however you can best let your mother know you're there and thinking of her. Written letters are so meaningful and seem such a lost art......
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    This is so difficult for your family. Call her and listen. Connection matters, especially now. You don't want to overwhelm her with calls but you'll always be the 'kid' and she'll always be your dear mother.

    Dedicated to you and your father. <3<3
  • Tinydancer106
    Tinydancer106 Posts: 3,678 Member
    So very sorry for your loss....your mom is lucky to have you all there for her...and she raised some amazing caring folks. I think the ideas above are beautiful and we did something similar for my mom (videos and stories for my mom) even though it wasn't like this I can't imagine what a nightmare this must be for you all! But it really helped her she breaks out the video and albums when she misses will comfort her and she also has you all there which means the world too.

    Big cyber hugs and deepest sympathies to you all...I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions ....i just wanted to say you're pretty wonderful for doing this for her while I'm sure you are hurting as well. Keep talking about him ...."those remember the time dad did....or said..." Convos are still the best at making my mom smile ...and us too! Wishing you Peace hun!🤗💗