Being Obsessed

mrschwarten

Good morning all!
I've just been having a thought all morning that I was seeing if any of you had an opinion or ideas.

I've heard the concept that to really achieve your goals, you have to be obsessed with them, and think about them constantly. Now, I think constantly may be a little much, but at least think of them frequently.

I'm having a hard time thinking about my goal, even occasionally. Like, it only pops up when I'm feeling blaugh, and almost when I am in a healthy mental space to act on it. My goal's just not in the forefront of my mind. Do you think that's because my goal is not fitting for me, or that I'm not putting in the required effort? Hard to say, but for goals of mine that I am excited about I have no problem thinking and acting on them often. What is making weight loss different? That it's hard, or much more subjective? Where in your mind is your goals? What tips or tricks can you offer to bring it more centered?

Thanks all, and stay safe and healthy!

quiksylver296

I don't really focus on my goal, at all! I focus on building the daily habits that will help me reach my goal, like logging all of my food, getting my daily workout in, etc.

Unicorn_Bacon

I feel like my mind is compartmentalized

I've got the box of "I know based on facts that my current weight is unhealthy and that health factors due to that can arise if I don't do something about it" which is what keeps the goal floating around in my head, leaving me constantly acknowledging it from time to time. But the fancy fades.

Then I have that other box, the rock bottom box, that has been catching the over flow of the first box for some time and now it's at a point where the bottom has or is about to bottom out.

And whatever that bottom is, be it health or a personal standard.. whatever, something becomes a reason that you want it now. I mean I'm sure there is some people out there who have been lucky to be fit and healthy growing up and health and fitness is just an extension of that in their adult life, I wish I was one of those people!

But something's gotta do it for me, and for me recently it was a bruise on my leg that I mistook for a progression in a skin condition I developed in my 20s. I freaked out thinking a new one had developed because of my weight and return of my diabetes and while for months and months I was over weight and had sugars so high I was drinking an ocean worth of water, it wasnt until that moment that I said, I gotta stop this and try and get my sugars under control and get back on my medications and lose some weight

cmriverside

When I was in weight loss mode, my mind was on my goals a lot. It had to be. I had a lot of weight to lose and I intended to get it done.

Now, 12 years later after having lost 80 pounds I am just in the groove. I know how many calories all my favorite foods have, how much of them I can eat. I have many different meals and I can pretty much do the calculations for an entire day in my head.

So it's easier. But getting here required diligence and education to some degree. For me that was using a food scale, logging food every day, and keeping a journal regarding over-eating events. What triggered them? What foods didn't keep me satisfied or caused me to eat way over my goal?

Some people can do it some other way but I wanted to be able to eat as much as possible and the food scale and food diary made that possible. I guess some might call that obsessive. I call it detail-oriented.

NovusDies

quiksylver296 wrote: »

I don't really focus on my goal, at all! I focus on building the daily habits that will help me reach my goal, like logging all of my food, getting my daily workout in, etc.

Absolutely This!

My daily process and being happy (ish) doing it is my primary goal. I worked very hard to train myself not to think of weight anymore than absolutely needed. I ignored it.

For me it is like taking a very long road trip. If all I do is think about where I am and how much further I have to go each mile just DRAGS. Alternatively if I turn on some music and allow something else take my focus the miles sneak by quickly.

On a normal day I eat whether I am trying to lose weight that day or not. Thinking about losing weight all day is not normal.

Weight loss is a very small phase of my life. There is no reason for it to be all-consuming. Very soon I will be in maintenance full time and I would have nowhere to put all that obsession energy.

nighthawk584

yep, like others, it's always been a focus on getting through each day. I've always had a rough long term goal estimate for weight loss, but more importantly is learning what works and what doesn't with my body. I've failed with dieting before because I was only worried about hitting a number, instead of learning what it takes to to make it a permanent lifestyle choice. That is the key.

mrschwarten

Thank you all, for your insights and personal stories. Of course, it's not only losing weight-related goals, but these are some great life concepts. @KrissCanDoThis, I deeply understand what you are saying! my goals are there, sometimes contained and sometimes overflowing. But I really like what @NovusDies and others are getting at, that as long as overall my actions are oriented towards my goals, I'll be alright. That is very encouraging!

Unicorn_Bacon

I agree with them too, I have to take that same approach with my eating disorder, if i binge, log it anyway, tomorrow try again.

mmapags

quiksylver296 wrote: »

I don't really focus on my goal, at all! I focus on building the daily habits that will help me reach my goal, like logging all of my food, getting my daily workout in, etc.

This^^ totally!

mullanphylane

Being obsessed with a single goal can help reaching it easier. Trouble is, when obsessing, one tends to have blinders on and miss other important aspects of life.

mkculs13

Goal setting comes to us from studies of successful people. The assumption is that goal setting helped these people become successful. I often wonder if they were able to set goals b/c they are somewhat obsessive people in the first place--in other words, the goal-setting was an effect of who they were, and while it helped them, goal-setting may not function the same for people without some obsessive character traits.

I teach goal-setting to teens and this is why I wonder about its efficacy. We can all set excellent S.M.A.R.T goals and break them down to objectives/short term goals, etc. In and of themselves, those do not seem to be particularly effective in helping students.

BUT--that does not mean I assume goal-setting is worthless. I'm going to try to refocus on my goal--meeting healthy standards (medical and performance) for my age/sex. Getting to a healthy weight is *part* of those standards--it is not "the" goal. I forget that, a LOT. And b/c I don't particularly want to lose weight (I only want to b/c it is important to overall health), focusing on it as a goal in itself is not very motivating.

I like the idea of focusing more on practices for a healthy lifestyle. That feels more meaningful--and should help with meeting the health goals, including weight loss.

I just wish I didn't get hungry; dang, that gets in the way

pink_mint

My thought is that obsession is actually not healthy but it's been elevated in our current culture as an admirable quality. With all the talk of pushing and hustling and crushing and smashing your goals...

I definitely have a weight loss goal and it's been relatively slow so far (it feels like it anyway) and I'm impatient and motivated. But still I don't think obsession is called for or helpful.

My goal is on my mind and 50 lbs just feels so huge and discouraging when I see my weight crawling snail-like downward one tiny fraction of a pound at a time, it just feels like it is going to take forever.

But I try to look at the big picture. Small, gentle, compassionate steps in the right direction and gradual, sustainable creation of new good habits are where it's at for me.

AnnPT77

quiksylver296 wrote: »

I don't really focus on my goal, at all! I focus on building the daily habits that will help me reach my goal, like logging all of my food, getting my daily workout in, etc.

^^^ This.

Attention to process and habits? Trying to gradually improve them? Yes.

Obsession with goal? No.

Just low-key commitment to the hum-drum habits that are a plan for moving in a positive direction.

AnnPT77

quiksylver296 wrote: »

I don't really focus on my goal, at all! I focus on building the daily habits that will help me reach my goal, like logging all of my food, getting my daily workout in, etc.

^^^ This.

Attention to process and habits? Trying to gradually improve them? Yes.

Obsession with goal? No.

Just low-key commitment to the hum-drum habits that are a plan for moving in a positive direction.