Giving It Another Go, 107 Pounds to Lose

Grace4Peace
Grace4Peace Posts: 5 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I'm not new to MFP and I'm certainly not new to weight loss. In fact, I've been at this for far longer than I care to admit and now I'm sitting on 107 extra pounds that I need to lose.

How did I get here? It started when I moved out of my parent's house. I realized I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted - and that's what I did. If I wanted cookie dough, I bought the ingredients and I ate cookie dough. If I wanted chips and dip, I bought chips and dip and ate it. While there's nothing wrong with eating what I want (ok, raw cookie dough is an issue) the problem came with portion control. I wouldn't stop at a handful of chips. I'd eat the whole bag in two days and an entire container of dip to go with it.

This behavior started in 2002 and in the past 18 years I have managed to slowly and steadily put on 77 pounds. I'm now 107 pounds overweight and miserable. I weigh more than I did when I was nine months pregnant with my son, and that bothers me. What really gets to me though is the reality that I have created for myself. I am 37 years old with a husband and a six year old son. I love my family but I do not love the idleness my life has created. I do not love being tired all the time, hurting when I get up in the morning and being short of breath just from carrying the laundry up the stairs. I don't love not having any clothes that fit me and constantly having to buy bigger sizes each season because nothing fits. I don't love feeling like a beached well and looking in the mirror with horror at what I have done to my body.

For me, it's no longer about losing weight, it's about getting healthy. It's about learning to say no when I eat chips, cookies, etc. To stop with one serving and to replace the bad food with good choices instead. That's what my journey is going to be about this time. Yes, I want to lose weight but I also want to be the healthiest version of me that I can be: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I'm finally willing to accept that this is going to be difficult and that's okay. I'm willing to accept that this isn't going to happen overnight, and that's okay too. I'm just going to focus on making healthy choices each day, and refining as I go. Before it was always an all or nothing approach. This time, I'm logging my calories and if it fits, that's fine and if it doesn't then I won't eat it. I'm not gonna be perfect (that's so hard for me to accept) but I'm going to be better.

My goal is to lose 107 pounds by my 40th birthday. That gives me about two years and five months to do so. (1 pound a week = 52 pounds a year = 104 pounds in 2 years)

If you're like me and you've struggled at all, please don't hesitate to send me a friend request. We can cheer each other on through this difficult journey and come out healthier in the end.

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