Sad reality.
Replies
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Well said and well explained.
Anecdotally, there is something to the article’s premise. I am a lot kinder to myself these days, and if I feel like going over, I will, without the subsequent self abuse.
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I agree with lgfrie. Sustainable habits are the backbone of my weight management, but no matter how sustainable a habit is, it's never going to be more sustainable than the easiest and the most pleasant choices. At first, you're focused. You have a reality you don't like (being fat) and you really want to change it, so sacrificing some pleasures sometimes feels worth it. Later you're thinner and your reality doesn't feel all that bad. So what if you put off your ultimate goal for just one more day in favor of something else?
Those moments are the difference between those who lose and maintain successfully and those who don't. You either force yourself to recover and plug along accepting that this is your life now, and it's a damn good one if you keep putting in the effort, or you switch entirely to the dark side where they have cookies, and you don't have fit them into your calories.
I'll even go as far as say the line of thinking that everything will be a happy game of "hey, that's great too" is a bit dangerous because it can lead to complacency. We need to accept that sometimes there will be "this won't feel great today, but I have to do it". There will also be plenty of "I could have done better" or even new situations and life changes that mess with your habits which you can't immediately solve with an acceptable alternative.
Edit:
It's also worth mentioning the phase where you're neither here nor there. You're lighter, but not as light as you want to be, and you're getting less out of your effort and things are slowing down because you're lighter. That's when many feel it's not fair. The mental aspect of the process can become a slog sometimes even if you have built sustainable habits, and even after you're already in maintenance. I tend to want to reframe when that happens, but when that doesn't work, plugging along and waiting out the harder mental phase also works, often combined with hitting pause in my case.7 -
Isn't this why so many people on here recommend diet breaks, where you eat at maintenance for a couple of weeks, every so often?
As a short, sedentary, overweight female, my maintenance figure wasn't particularly high (certainly under 1500), even when I started on MFP, so my deficit was quite small throughout the whole time I was losing weight. As such, I never felt deprived or the need to have a break, but I can totally understand why people do need it and why it's good for your state of mind.
And I'll also happily go over my calories, once in a while, and not worry about it. It took me two years to get to where I am now and a meal out with friends, or few glasses of wine because I feel like it, is not going to suddenly add 17kg back on overnight. I just don't do it every day.0 -
springlering62 wrote: »Igfrie, I’ve followed your story and posts with interest, but I gotta disagree with you for a moment.
I’m afraid the moment I start to consider it a “slog”, I’ll take the wrong fork in the road.
You have to think of it as a permanent change, and be willing to open yourself up to other opportunities and more creativity. You have to make sure you have options that you enjoy and that you’re flexible enough with it to make the most of them.
I’m not good at explaining this, but for example, I just started a new batch of beef jerky and automatically put the last of the old batch in today’s diary. I also have a slice of going-stale kefir cake left that needs to be eaten up.
I realized I’m way over on protein per today’s (pre-filled) diary, but low on carbs like usual, so I pulled the jerky, replaces it with the bit of leftover cake, along with a squirt of cream and 3 grams of shredded coconut. Fairly close to an even swap for the jerky, which will wait.
I will probably sub something else later in the day so I can have a cucumber and a couple tablespoons of homemade lebnah that are calling my name.
By giving myself constant opportunity to change, I’m trying to replace the “slog” aspect of it with the “hey, that sounds tasty and is still acceptable”.
It’s a mind game, a puzzle, a challenge, a reward system all rolled into one.
I know that’s how a lot of folks do it here, but simply replacing the word “slog”, drudgery, boredom or similar with “opportunity” keeps it fresh for me. Word have meaning, even if we only say them in our heads.
You keep on doing what works for you, though. You’ve done wonderfully and are a sincerely great and encouraging asset to this group!
I do know what you're saying, and in a (significant) way I agree with it. If a diet is just a "slog" that you have to struggle through the muck every day, it's only a matter of time before it implodes. So the challenge is to "bake in" new habits that are comfortable forever, and also to be creative so the diet fare doesn't get tedious, sowing the seeds of rebellion. I do agree 100 % with that. I've also mostly done that, in one very important way - I realized early on in the game that I was just not going to be one of the "I used to eat processed crap but now I love kale more than m&m's!" people. I'm just not, and staring into the mirror and realizing that I need hyperpalatable junky food not for 5 % of my diet as treats but like 30 % as a core element of my daily fare helped me reorganize things early on so that I could stay committed to it for weight loss and later. And I'm pretty comfortable with my routine and the foods I eat - I feel like I could drive this the remaining 50 pounds and then into maintenance.
But ...
What I mean by "slog" is: Friends call up and want to go to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Early in my diet, I would check the calories online, realize that any worthwhile entree there was my entire day's allotment of calories, and suggest an alternative. Then I would scour the menu at the alternative place in advance online, nail down exactly what I could eat, try to move things around between appetizer and entree so I could squeeze in one glass of wine, basically starve myself all day to free up the calories, and then go out and rigorously stick to plan, while other people were gorging on the things I really wanted.
When I hit around 50, 55, or thereabouts pounds, I don't know, someone would say, "Hey, let's go to Cheesecake Factory..." and I'd be like "OK". Tired of scouring menus for the lowest calorie options, I would skip that step and just go eat. I would have the three glasses of wine I really wanted, not one. And then I'd come home and log it and it'd be 3,000 cals, totaling 4,000 for the day, and I'd be like, you know, I've lost 50 pounds and I really don't care if I just gave 1/2 of a pound back, because it was GOOD to be out with friends gulping down wine like Vikings (if Vikings drank wine) and eating all the crap I really wanted all along.
What changed? Good question. I think at around 50-60 pounds I kind of felt good. I could actually fit into a booth at Cheesecake, for one thing LOL And I was wearing better clothes, a couple sizes down. I no longer felt (or was) morbidly obese, though still "obese", but more as a technical BMI definition than in how I actually felt. And so I didn't feel like denying myself.
Of course this slowed the weight loss rate - and yet I still had 50 or 60 pounds to lose! So I entered a new struggle phase, where some days I would nail that calorie target like a true fanatical warrior, and other days I'd be like "meh, I can handle getting to Goal a week later..." This delicate balancing act between short term pleasure and long-term goal attainment did not exist earlier in my project.
Then I stumbled onto that article somewhere on the web, and it was almost like it was written while observing me under a magnifying glass!! The whole thesis was that something happens to people after around 50 lbs or 6 months or thereabouts - they get bored with it, they start fudging, then it falls apart. So I really recommitted, and it's kinda worked, but I don't think I'll ever get back that honeymoon phase wherein I could just nail the number day after day after day.
But I totally agree that dieting in a way which is difficult or overrestrictive and just praying to get to Goal so that one can ditch it is a heinously terrible plan. It's really important to be creative about the foods and make it rewarding in a way that can be repeated perpetually, perhaps with a few hundred calories added back in. Today I made a whole new invention for lunch: two Ore-Ida hash brown patties, serving as the "bread" for a sandwich which had an egg, American cheese and bacon. 477 calories! LOL Probably the best breakfast I've ever had. Truly stunning. I'm very happy to be able to fit that in & that's the kind of thing that keeps me going, but ... I still want and need more time-outs than I did in the first few months.
My first fatigue period hit me just after I had been losing for a year. I was about 160 pounds down. I have been pretty fortunate that my periods of fatigue have been fairly short-lived and usually solved by a break or a short period of overfeeding. Once over, my process is so normal for me now I do it on autopilot. While others are struggling during the pandemic and I have been indifferent to weight loss since my cruise was cancelled I am still losing on schedule. I find the whole thing to be kind of surreal. I am on a break at the moment which I also don't seem to care about but I needed to take it because I was losing a little too fast. I decided to eat in a small surplus during the break and that is causing me mental friction. Again, surreal.
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I hit mental fatigue right around the 100 lb mark. The first time I lost 90 lbs back in 2012, it took me a little under a year to hit that fatigue, to start slipping and getting sloppy on my counts and then to quit counting all together when the plateau set in hard because of the sloppy counting. And then began the slow regain that spiked in 2014 after thyroid surgery.
This time around, I lost the first 100 lbs in 2017, but by the end of the year, I had slowed down to a stop once again. Part of it was the diet fatigue, I think. An even larger part was the fact that I was moving, we had to gut and remodel the place I was moving into which took 4 months (after having to get rid of the 1 1/2 dumpsters full of garbage the guy had left behind - he was a hoarder), I was driving back and forth between the old location 3 hours south to the new location and back and I was moving back home around family and living with them at the time, and my family has no interest in losing weight or making healthier choices and certainly no understanding about weighing food.
I let those influences get to me and plateaued for 18 months. Thankfully, this time, I only regained 30 lbs before I finally got myself back under control, but I can say that it was not easy getting myself back into the deficit mindset those first 6 months back; I was hitting and missing constantly. In january we finally got thyroid levels straightened out and it became easier for me to stick to it. There is something about seeing great success being motivating in keeping on keeping on. I can see now looking back at some of the new habits that are becoming ingrained as I keep at it.
What's really got me for a loop is the amount of calories I'm adding back due to activity. I'm 240 lbs right now, 5'8 1/2" (and yes, that 1/2" is VERY important! lol), and am doing low impact activity at least 2 hours a day, 5 to 6 days a week. I struggled to believe I was really adding that many calories back to my deficit, but after a month's run of 3 lb/week loss, I finally had to accept the calorie burn and add them back to slow that rate down. Now I'm taking a diet break since vacation is next week and they've reopened the state parks so i get to keep my plans for our secluded cabin in the middle of nowhere WV, and I'm experiencing something I've never ever thought would ever happen - I'm having a hard time eating enough calories to maintain my weight! Like NovusDies says - its surreal the struggle I'm having just to eat enough each day. I can't bring myself to go back to cooking the old way and its showing me just how ingrained some of these new methods have become - ingrained enough, I hope that when I get to the point of really needing to slow the weight loss down to a crawl, they'll be routine enough that I won't slip up this time around.
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springlering62 wrote: »Igfrie, I’ve followed your story and posts with interest, but I gotta disagree with you for a moment.
I’m afraid the moment I start to consider it a “slog”, I’ll take the wrong fork in the road.
You have to think of it as a permanent change, and be willing to open yourself up to other opportunities and more creativity. You have to make sure you have options that you enjoy and that you’re flexible enough with it to make the most of them.
I’m not good at explaining this, but for example, I just started a new batch of beef jerky and automatically put the last of the old batch in today’s diary. I also have a slice of going-stale kefir cake left that needs to be eaten up.
I realized I’m way over on protein per today’s (pre-filled) diary, but low on carbs like usual, so I pulled the jerky, replaces it with the bit of leftover cake, along with a squirt of cream and 3 grams of shredded coconut. Fairly close to an even swap for the jerky, which will wait.
I will probably sub something else later in the day so I can have a cucumber and a couple tablespoons of homemade lebnah that are calling my name.
By giving myself constant opportunity to change, I’m trying to replace the “slog” aspect of it with the “hey, that sounds tasty and is still acceptable”.
It’s a mind game, a puzzle, a challenge, a reward system all rolled into one.
I know that’s how a lot of folks do it here, but simply replacing the word “slog”, drudgery, boredom or similar with “opportunity” keeps it fresh for me. Word have meaning, even if we only say them in our heads.
You keep on doing what works for you, though. You’ve done wonderfully and are a sincerely great and encouraging asset to this group!
I do know what you're saying, and in a (significant) way I agree with it. If a diet is just a "slog" that you have to struggle through the muck every day, it's only a matter of time before it implodes. So the challenge is to "bake in" new habits that are comfortable forever, and also to be creative so the diet fare doesn't get tedious, sowing the seeds of rebellion. I do agree 100 % with that. I've also mostly done that, in one very important way - I realized early on in the game that I was just not going to be one of the "I used to eat processed crap but now I love kale more than m&m's!" people. I'm just not, and staring into the mirror and realizing that I need hyperpalatable junky food not for 5 % of my diet as treats but like 30 % as a core element of my daily fare helped me reorganize things early on so that I could stay committed to it for weight loss and later. And I'm pretty comfortable with my routine and the foods I eat - I feel like I could drive this the remaining 50 pounds and then into maintenance.
But ...
What I mean by "slog" is: Friends call up and want to go to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Early in my diet, I would check the calories online, realize that any worthwhile entree there was my entire day's allotment of calories, and suggest an alternative. Then I would scour the menu at the alternative place in advance online, nail down exactly what I could eat, try to move things around between appetizer and entree so I could squeeze in one glass of wine, basically starve myself all day to free up the calories, and then go out and rigorously stick to plan, while other people were gorging on the things I really wanted.
When I hit around 50, 55, or thereabouts pounds, I don't know, someone would say, "Hey, let's go to Cheesecake Factory..." and I'd be like "OK". Tired of scouring menus for the lowest calorie options, I would skip that step and just go eat. I would have the three glasses of wine I really wanted, not one. And then I'd come home and log it and it'd be 3,000 cals, totaling 4,000 for the day, and I'd be like, you know, I've lost 50 pounds and I really don't care if I just gave 1/2 of a pound back, because it was GOOD to be out with friends gulping down wine like Vikings (if Vikings drank wine) and eating all the crap I really wanted all along.
What changed? Good question. I think at around 50-60 pounds I kind of felt good. I could actually fit into a booth at Cheesecake, for one thing LOL And I was wearing better clothes, a couple sizes down. I no longer felt (or was) morbidly obese, though still "obese", but more as a technical BMI definition than in how I actually felt. And so I didn't feel like denying myself.
Of course this slowed the weight loss rate - and yet I still had 50 or 60 pounds to lose! So I entered a new struggle phase, where some days I would nail that calorie target like a true fanatical warrior, and other days I'd be like "meh, I can handle getting to Goal a week later..." This delicate balancing act between short term pleasure and long-term goal attainment did not exist earlier in my project.
Then I stumbled onto that article somewhere on the web, and it was almost like it was written while observing me under a magnifying glass!! The whole thesis was that something happens to people after around 50 lbs or 6 months or thereabouts - they get bored with it, they start fudging, then it falls apart. So I really recommitted, and it's kinda worked, but I don't think I'll ever get back that honeymoon phase wherein I could just nail the number day after day after day.
But I totally agree that dieting in a way which is difficult or overrestrictive and just praying to get to Goal so that one can ditch it is a heinously terrible plan. It's really important to be creative about the foods and make it rewarding in a way that can be repeated perpetually, perhaps with a few hundred calories added back in. Today I made a whole new invention for lunch: two Ore-Ida hash brown patties, serving as the "bread" for a sandwich which had an egg, American cheese and bacon. 477 calories! LOL Probably the best breakfast I've ever had. Truly stunning. I'm very happy to be able to fit that in & that's the kind of thing that keeps me going, but ... I still want and need more time-outs than I did in the first few months.
My first fatigue period hit me just after I had been losing for a year. I was about 160 pounds down. I have been pretty fortunate that my periods of fatigue have been fairly short-lived and usually solved by a break or a short period of overfeeding. Once over, my process is so normal for me now I do it on autopilot. While others are struggling during the pandemic and I have been indifferent to weight loss since my cruise was cancelled I am still losing on schedule. I find the whole thing to be kind of surreal. I am on a break at the moment which I also don't seem to care about but I needed to take it because I was losing a little too fast. I decided to eat in a small surplus during the break and that is causing me mental friction. Again, surreal.
Yes, the pandemic messed me up a bit too. I had a good system going and almost got complacent and overconfident. In my case, I'm in maintenance. Not much has changed about my schedule as I have always worked from home and I enjoy staying at home, but my family being around all day messed up my routines. At first I tried making things work, but then at some point I just stopped caring because things changed too much too soon.
I could no longer play my fitness games whenever I wanted because the TV was now being used for news. I couldn't use the treadmill as usual because it's in another family member's room and they switched to working from home. I couldn't walk outside because we had a full curfew at the time. I wasn't having my usual go-to breakfasts because we now ate all our meals as a family. Everyone suddenly had this urge to cook and bake and make high calorie foods, sometimes several kinds in one day, a food decision I didn't have to deal with daily before. Too many guess-type meals... and more.
Sure, I could have found an alternative for each and every one of these issues, but making so many changes at once felt too overwhelming and I just didn't want to deal with it. I went into "IDGAF" mode and started gaining weight. This mode is a defense mechanism that I can't control where I just stop caring. I rarely get classically depressed, I just become indifferent.
I knew I was overeating and I was still logging every day at a surplus, but I didn't care. I was still mentally watching out for the first glimmer of caring to grab it and take back control, and that's what saved my weight management efforts. I recognize things won't always go smoothly, but taking back control as soon as I'm able is the key. I gained a bit, nothing 2-3 of months of dieting can't fix, but I'm putting a pause on that and just maintaining my current weight until I'm ready to start dieting again. I'm glad I was able to stop gaining.8 -
joyanna2016 wrote: »scarlett_k wrote: »I'm 5'6" and have never had to eat that little to lose 2lb a week when I was 220lb or thereabouts. How are you calculating this? Have you actually tried it or is this all hypothetical? 1200 is very low. I ate 1500 for a while and felt *awful*.
I started noticing I wasnt losing quite as much each week and my "expected weight in 5 wks" was no longer a 10 lb loss at 1200 cals so I looked it up on the calculator mentioned by some on MFP called "fat to fit" after figuring my bmr and tdee it confirmed.
Honestly I don't think someone your height and weight could sustainably adhere to such a small amount of calories. You need to be able to stick to a calorie deficit over a long period of time instead of losing weight quickly only to create a binge cycle and eventually put it all back on.4 -
I've decided that I'm going to increase my calories to between 1300 and 1400 and just know that it's going to take a while! I'm also going to put my scale away and just weigh once a month since I wont be seeing progress as quickly. This way hopefully when I do step on the scale there will be some small loss each time. That's my plan anyway!
Honestly I don't think someone your height and weight could sustainably adhere to such a small amount of calories. You need to be able to stick to a calorie deficit over a long period of time instead of losing weight quickly only to create a binge cycle and eventually put it all back on.[/quote]
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scarlett_k wrote: »joyanna2016 wrote: »scarlett_k wrote: »I'm 5'6" and have never had to eat that little to lose 2lb a week when I was 220lb or thereabouts. How are you calculating this? Have you actually tried it or is this all hypothetical? 1200 is very low. I ate 1500 for a while and felt *awful*.
I started noticing I wasnt losing quite as much each week and my "expected weight in 5 wks" was no longer a 10 lb loss at 1200 cals so I looked it up on the calculator mentioned by some on MFP called "fat to fit" after figuring my bmr and tdee it confirmed.
Honestly I don't think someone your height and weight could sustainably adhere to such a small amount of calories. You need to be able to stick to a calorie deficit over a long period of time instead of losing weight quickly only to create a binge cycle and eventually put it all back on.
In my post I think I accidently deleted your quotes Scarlet_K! Oops!0 -
I am currently helping a buddy who is very overweight get healthy. My biggest piece of advice is don't stress out about it. If you eat healthy food and exercise your health will improve. Pay attention to your calories (in and out) but I'm personally not a huge fan of tracking the scale every couple days or checking how many calories you burned on a run. It doesn't sound like your health is dire so I would just enjoy the progress and keep going
. Nice job thus far! 4 -
I am currently helping a buddy who is very overweight get healthy. My biggest piece of advice is don't stress out about it. If you eat healthy food and exercise your health will improve. Pay attention to your calories (in and out) but I'm personally not a huge fan of tracking the scale every couple days or checking how many calories you burned on a run. It doesn't sound like your health is dire so I would just enjoy the progress and keep going. Nice job thus far!
How do you pay attention to your calories out if you do not calculate the calories you burn on a run?
Be careful trying to help another person. The physical aspects of weight loss are not especially complicated most of the time. The mental aspects can be very complicated.8 -
I know what you mean when you say it feels like it's going to take forever, but try looking at it this way.
How fast does a year go by?? You know how Thanksgiving and then Christmas rolls around and pretty much everyone wonders where the heck the year has gone?
Now imagine having that feeling, but you've stuck with your healthier lifestyle during all of that time. Maybe/probably with some blips, but you've stuck with it and made progress and wondering where the heck that year has gone.
It feels like forever sometimes, but it really isn't while you're just doing your daily thing. Don't lose hope just b/c you're not going to lose a certain amount each week.6 -
I am currently helping a buddy who is very overweight get healthy. My biggest piece of advice is don't stress out about it. If you eat healthy food and exercise your health will improve. Pay attention to your calories (in and out) but I'm personally not a huge fan of tracking the scale every couple days or checking how many calories you burned on a run. It doesn't sound like your health is dire so I would just enjoy the progress and keep going. Nice job thus far!
How do you pay attention to your calories out if you do not calculate the calories you burn on a run?
Be careful trying to help another person. The physical aspects of weight loss are not especially complicated most of the time. The mental aspects can be very complicated.
All I am saying is dont be legalistic. Enjoy the journey and progress. From this persons post I gather they want a lifestyle change not a 5 month change. People who go on a bike ride for the sake of seeing how many calories their fit bit says they burned, plug that into their perfect formula they got off Google and rinse and repeat that process for weeks and months dont often last long. Understanding calories in and out so you make sure you are fueling your body properly is important but doesn't need to be monitored constantly. My buddy is currently 27 lbs down and and I have trained 2 others as well all 3 having long term lifestyle changes. That is just my opinion.2 -
I am currently helping a buddy who is very overweight get healthy. My biggest piece of advice is don't stress out about it. If you eat healthy food and exercise your health will improve. Pay attention to your calories (in and out) but I'm personally not a huge fan of tracking the scale every couple days or checking how many calories you burned on a run. It doesn't sound like your health is dire so I would just enjoy the progress and keep going. Nice job thus far!
How do you pay attention to your calories out if you do not calculate the calories you burn on a run?
Be careful trying to help another person. The physical aspects of weight loss are not especially complicated most of the time. The mental aspects can be very complicated.
All I am saying is dont be legalistic. Enjoy the journey and progress. From this persons post I gather they want a lifestyle change not a 5 month change. People who go on a bike ride for the sake of seeing how many calories their fit bit says they burned, plug that into their perfect formula they got off Google and rinse and repeat that process for weeks and months dont often last long. Understanding calories in and out so you make sure you are fueling your body properly is important but doesn't need to be monitored constantly. My buddy is currently 27 lbs down and and I have trained 2 others as well all 3 having long term lifestyle changes. That is just my opinion.
You’re probably going to want to give that post another read.
Then try the advice again-perhaps addressing OP’s actual concerns and maybe not assuming automatically that she isn’t eating “healthy” and exercising.
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Duck_Puddle wrote: »I am currently helping a buddy who is very overweight get healthy. My biggest piece of advice is don't stress out about it. If you eat healthy food and exercise your health will improve. Pay attention to your calories (in and out) but I'm personally not a huge fan of tracking the scale every couple days or checking how many calories you burned on a run. It doesn't sound like your health is dire so I would just enjoy the progress and keep going. Nice job thus far!
How do you pay attention to your calories out if you do not calculate the calories you burn on a run?
Be careful trying to help another person. The physical aspects of weight loss are not especially complicated most of the time. The mental aspects can be very complicated.
All I am saying is dont be legalistic. Enjoy the journey and progress. From this persons post I gather they want a lifestyle change not a 5 month change. People who go on a bike ride for the sake of seeing how many calories their fit bit says they burned, plug that into their perfect formula they got off Google and rinse and repeat that process for weeks and months dont often last long. Understanding calories in and out so you make sure you are fueling your body properly is important but doesn't need to be monitored constantly. My buddy is currently 27 lbs down and and I have trained 2 others as well all 3 having long term lifestyle changes. That is just my opinion.
You’re probably going to want to give that post another read.
Then try the advice again-perhaps addressing OP’s actual concerns and maybe not assuming automatically that she isn’t eating “healthy” and exercising.
I never said she isn't eating healthy or not exercising.... literally the only point to my initial comment was keep up the good work and don't stress out. So you can reread my comment and not in between the lines.2 -
I know what you mean when you say it feels like it's going to take forever, but try looking at it this way.
How fast does a year go by?? You know how Thanksgiving and then Christmas rolls around and pretty much everyone wonders where the heck the year has gone?
Now imagine having that feeling, but you've stuck with your healthier lifestyle during all of that time. Maybe/probably with some blips, but you've stuck with it and made progress and wondering where the heck that year has gone.
It feels like forever sometimes, but it really isn't while you're just doing your daily thing. Don't lose hope just b/c you're not going to lose a certain amount each week.
You are totally right! Years seem to be flying by faster and faster (about to be 50 this year 😬)1 -
In the beginning I didn’t even weigh myself every week. I started walking a mile every day before breakfast (add in a hill and watch inches shed off) when I was just starting out I’d have a protein shake with almond milk in the morning... 210 calories... if I was going out for dinner, I’d have that for lunch sometimes too. It’s all about choices. Start substituting lower calorie options and you can eat more.. I’ve been doing it for a year, and have lost 95 and 13 inches off my hips. I have a whey protein shake in am (I hate eating breakfast and have issues of not eating so this is a good starter for me not to think about food in the morning) a big salad with chicken for lunch... then some lean protein and vegetable for dinner. Sometimes I move things around and have pizza... lol. Your calories are like budgeting money. What are your big expenses and what can you save on? Choice is everything. Never a diet but a LIVEit.4
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I am currently helping a buddy who is very overweight get healthy. My biggest piece of advice is don't stress out about it. If you eat healthy food and exercise your health will improve. Pay attention to your calories (in and out) but I'm personally not a huge fan of tracking the scale every couple days or checking how many calories you burned on a run. It doesn't sound like your health is dire so I would just enjoy the progress and keep going. Nice job thus far!
It depends on the person, so I hope you know how the person you're helping thinks. People are individuals and what they find stressful/stress relieving varies.
To me, exercise calories are not stressful, they're the biggest motivation. It was freeing to know that I can live a semi-normal life and still lose weight. Burning calories on a run usually means being able to eat my main meal normally with my family without feeling left out or having to make huge changes, including occasional high calorie things like tahini cauliflower, eggplant caviar (a dish that involves eggplant and a lot of oil), potatoes au gratin... and so on. I also get to fit in higher calorie desserts from time to time when they feel worth it. Knowing exercise calorie eliminates a lot of stress for me and knowing I have choices is empowering.
I also weigh myself daily. It would be more stressful for me to weigh in once a week and not know if my lack of weight loss is temporary due to water weight or if I need to change something about my diet. Having a weight trend with daily data points makes it easier to understand my weight change patterns and turns the whole process into a fun data game. I'm less emotionally attached to the number on the scale as a result, and my "weight" is a range not a number.
No, this wasn't a 5 month change. I have lost a little over 140 lbs and have been tracking for a little over 7 years and still going.
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springlering62 wrote: »Igfrie, I’ve followed your story and posts with interest, but I gotta disagree with you for a moment.
I’m afraid the moment I start to consider it a “slog”, I’ll take the wrong fork in the road.
You have to think of it as a permanent change, and be willing to open yourself up to other opportunities and more creativity. You have to make sure you have options that you enjoy and that you’re flexible enough with it to make the most of them.
I’m not good at explaining this, but for example, I just started a new batch of beef jerky and automatically put the last of the old batch in today’s diary. I also have a slice of going-stale kefir cake left that needs to be eaten up.
I realized I’m way over on protein per today’s (pre-filled) diary, but low on carbs like usual, so I pulled the jerky, replaces it with the bit of leftover cake, along with a squirt of cream and 3 grams of shredded coconut. Fairly close to an even swap for the jerky, which will wait.
I will probably sub something else later in the day so I can have a cucumber and a couple tablespoons of homemade lebnah that are calling my name.
By giving myself constant opportunity to change, I’m trying to replace the “slog” aspect of it with the “hey, that sounds tasty and is still acceptable”.
It’s a mind game, a puzzle, a challenge, a reward system all rolled into one.
I know that’s how a lot of folks do it here, but simply replacing the word “slog”, drudgery, boredom or similar with “opportunity” keeps it fresh for me. Word have meaning, even if we only say them in our heads.
You keep on doing what works for you, though. You’ve done wonderfully and are a sincerely great and encouraging asset to this group!
This! It IS a mind game, a puzzle, a challenge, a reward system all rolled into one! Yes, it is! Every...every...day we have to take what this world throws at us mentally, what food (and exercise) opportunities come our way, and our self care needs and make choices to make all the parts of the puzzle to come together for the end goal. Usually our most important self care need will be staying true to our desire to be thinner and healthier. But, we have to be understanding with ourselves in not making our demands/goals on ourselves so difficult that the "mind game" aspect of the battle is what defeats us. Sort of an internal imploding. Most days we will have to rise to the "challenge" of figuring out a way to make it all work. Thankfully we do get "rewards" along the way that validate we are succeeding...slowly but surely. In my original post I did express impatience re: how long it would take me to lose the weight. However, ive had a realization about this. It is just like most thing in life...the grass is NOT greener on the other side. For the rest of my life I will have to monitor my diet. After I get to my goal weight I will have maybe a couple hundred more calories to play with each day and I might get to tweak the shape of my body with exercise, but maintenance wont be nearly as fun as witnessing the overweight body youve known your whole life change before your very eyes. It wont be nearly as amazing and wonderful. So, on that note, lets all truly enjoy this part of the journey. It is challenging but just like everything else in this world it will be over before you know it and I dont know for sure yet because I havent been there but I think it may be the most fun part.2 -
I'm with @amusedmonkey on this. Counting the exercise calories and adding them to my food intake makes the whole project work. Without the add'l food, I would be starving and miserable. And without measuring the exercise I wouldn't know how much more food I'm entitled to.
I weigh in every single day on the scale. I find it motivating. My wife, who's been dieting alongside me the whole way and losing weight at a similar pace, weighs in maybe 3-4 times per year and only when I remind her. She'd probably never get on a scale if just left to her own devices. People are so different when it comes to whether data motivates or demotivates them. It's very individual.2 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »I am currently helping a buddy who is very overweight get healthy. My biggest piece of advice is don't stress out about it. If you eat healthy food and exercise your health will improve. Pay attention to your calories (in and out) but I'm personally not a huge fan of tracking the scale every couple days or checking how many calories you burned on a run. It doesn't sound like your health is dire so I would just enjoy the progress and keep going. Nice job thus far!
It depends on the person, so I hope you know how the person you're helping thinks. People are individuals and what they find stressful/stress relieving varies.
To me, exercise calories are not stressful, they're the biggest motivation. It was freeing to know that I can live a semi-normal life and still lose weight. Burning calories on a run usually means being able to eat my main meal normally with my family without feeling left out or having to make huge changes, including occasional high calorie things like tahini cauliflower, eggplant caviar (a dish that involves eggplant and a lot of oil), potatoes au gratin... and so on. I also get to fit in higher calorie desserts from time to time when they feel worth it. Knowing exercise calorie eliminates a lot of stress for me and knowing I have choices is empowering.
I also weigh myself daily. It would be more stressful for me to weigh in once a week and not know if my lack of weight loss is temporary due to water weight or if I need to change something about my diet. Having a weight trend with daily data points makes it easier to understand my weight change patterns and turns the whole process into a fun data game. I'm less emotionally attached to the number on the scale as a result, and my "weight" is a range not a number.
No, this wasn't a 5 month change. I have lost a little over 140 lbs and have been tracking for a little over 7 years and still going.
Right on and congrats! The only reason I offered the advice I did was because in the original post she mentioned a lot of numbers and math and feeling discouraged. Not always, but in my experience people like that tend to allow numbers to cause stress and anxiety which is not good for mental and physical health. Absolutely everyone is different. If anyone finds the daily calorie counting a weighing beneficial all the power to them. And yes the people I have worked with tend to be the eat one bad meal and throw the remainder of the day down the toilet types. Great job!1
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