Good Intentions

River314

So last week I decided again to restart my weight loss journey. This time I told everyone, not just a few people, so I can keep accountable. I know people have good intentions, but quite a few have told me I should do this or that to help lose weight. I'm 5 feet tall, 42 years old, and new weight as of this morning was 230 lbs. Not sure if that makes a difference. I have devised my own plan to simply make smarter choices in what I eat, concentrating on higher protein and more fruits/veg. I know every person is different, however, when I'm told by others to eat "their way" I just want to cover my ears, roll my eyes, and walk away.

elisa123gal

That's what happens when you tell a lot of people. I can only imagine that the advice will keep a coming.

melissatwill

Take others advice sign a grain of salt. Everyone has their own opinion as to what to do/ not do. Listen to what they suggest & then do your own thing.

I’ve had friends with great weight loss success but their methods don’t work for me. I don’t buy into all the fad diets, don’t believe in taking weight loss drugs, etc.. (that is just my opinion though, if it works for others then I say go for it).

We are all built differently, we metabolize differently, have existing medical conditions that could conflict with certain “diets”.

Do what works best for YOU! You’re not going to have success doing what others tell you to do. I think your plan sounds like a good one; good luck!

RelCanonical

Do what works for you - you can accept their advice, but that doesn't mean you have to use it! I didn't tell anyone when I started losing, because for me, it was very personal and I didn't want people to know how much I was struggling with my body, both from an emotional and physical standpoint.

Lietchi

I didn't tell anyone when I started. Not even my BF, not until I switched from Noom to MFP and I had already had some success. It's kind of hard to hide weighing your food when you're living with someone

He tried to tell me how to lose weight, after I had already successfully lost a few kg. After I told him I was clearly managing fine without his advice, he got the hint

Now he mentions the silly diets the wives of his colleagues follow and we have a good laugh together about it.

The unwanted advice is not specific to weight loss, I think. Many people give unwanted advice whenever you mention anything you intend to do, whether it be weight loss, home renovations, getting a pet... I try to see it as involvement from their side in the conversation (better than ignoring what you say!) and just listen. Depending on the person or circumstances, I might explain my own approach or simply try to move to the next subject

MaltedTea

River314 wrote: »

...when I'm told by others to eat "their way" I just want to cover my ears, roll my eyes, and walk away.

🚶🏿‍♀️

That's a whole vibe 😆 You're right to do what works for you, especially at the beginning (or during certain transitions) if you feel it gives you momentum!

You got this!

NovusDies

River314 wrote: »

So last week I decided again to restart my weight loss journey. This time I told everyone, not just a few people, so I can keep accountable. I know people have good intentions, but quite a few have told me I should do this or that to help lose weight. I'm 5 feet tall, 42 years old, and new weight as of this morning was 230 lbs. Not sure if that makes a difference. I have devised my own plan to simply make smarter choices in what I eat, concentrating on higher protein and more fruits/veg. I know every person is different, however, when I'm told by others to eat "their way" I just want to cover my ears, roll my eyes, and walk away.

People get too focused on the food. You can lose weight with any way of eating that achieves a calorie deficit. Once your hunger is mostly controlled and you maintain basic nutrition most of the rest of weight loss happens between the ears.

Diatonic12

Let experience be your teacher when it comes to being wide open for public opinion about a new weight loss journey. You may find that not everyone has our best interests at heart. It's similar to asking those closest to us about clothes, hair, shoes and how old do you think I look.

As we tool along, friends and family find holding us accountable exhausting. They're busy fortifying their own life. Their comments and advice may dwindle until you realize that no one can do any of this for us or hold us accountable until the end.

That's when you sign up for MFP and find other birds of a feather flying together. You search the backroads of the forum for the success stories and you learn how to fortify yourself through all kinds of weather.

88olds

Try to make a plan to deal with diet noise. It doesn’t just come from other people, the media, the culture is loaded with it. Everyone has an opinion, mostly uninformed. Plus we can’t look at the internet without google or FB trying to tell us the latest about fitness and weight loss. Truth is its big business. There’s money in clickbait. Even when the supposed information is wrong or the underlying study misstated.

The people, the news, the internet - I just lump it all together as noise. If first noticed this when I joined Weight Watchers. I decided that if something regarding diet and fitness didn’t come from WW or my Dr, I would ignore it. It was a bit of a struggle. First thing I noticed was the amount of stuff I had internalized with no real basis, a lot from advertising. Then I noticed that everyone around me had an opinion about what I was doing. Seemed like they had been fine with me weighing 285 lbs, but under 220? It made them uncomfortable somehow. Why? No idea.

If I’m looking for diet, nutrition, fitness, or health question I try to get my info from the National Institute of Health or Mayo Clinic websites. If needed I ask my Dr. Otherwise I stick to these message boards. There’s a lot that the supposed experts don’t understand. Try to come up with a strategy for what and how to tune stuff out. It can drive you crazy if you don’t.

BuddhaBunnyFTW

Do what's best for you. My success came from the book How Not to Diet; lost 45 lbs so far. Be well.

AnnPT77

In the most charitable interpretation, they just want to help.

Poor things just aren't very good at it . . . bless their hearts.

All joking aside: Your plan sounds very reasonable, and you sound like the very sort of person who'll tweak the details for even better results as you get more experience and learn more. An open mind is a good thing, but not so open that stray birds start nesting in the rafters.

WIshing you great success!

PotatoHead_

Your post is also one veteran MFP users need to listen to. A lot of users are quick to comment on us newbie's approaches, firing questions and comments. It's from good hearts, trying to be supportive, but it's like being told you're wrong when you've just been proud of yourself for getting the motivation to start. It can be a bit disheartening. Maybe it's important to wait until a fellow user says "something's not working for me" or "I'm not sure about..." before firing the "do what I do" advice.

I write this, in order that I remember to 'check' myself, and not do this either!

amusedmonkey

I've had people give me weight loss advice and tell me the way I chose to eat was wrong, and that was after I had lost 140 lbs my way. It gets easier, you just stop giving a *kitten*.

As a newbie it's good to listen and learn and try and ask, but you're the one who decides what makes dieting easier for you (provided you're not doing anything harmful). Smile and nod and then go home and continue doing your thing.

Diatonic12

You might find something you can use here.

https://www.vaildaily.com/news/lindsey-vonn-partners-with-myfitnesspal-shares-workout-tips-and-recipes/