Snarky comments

KNoceros

Why do people think it’s acceptable (or even as one said yesterday, “their duty”!!) to make comments on other people’s weight?

Twice in the last two days I have been told by people I barely know (at work) that I apparently have “lost too much weight”.

According to one, it will make my face go sunken and give me a wrinkly neck, and the other reckons my husband will go off me because I’m “too bony”.

I’ve worked really hard to be this size. And BMI 21.6 is hardly emaciated. I have strong legs and a solid core. I am active and sporty. And my husband thinks I’m just fine thank you very much 😉

So as my gran used to say: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

tinkerbellang83

Pretty damn inappropriate for work colleagues to be commenting in any way, about people's appearances in the workplace. I'd be unimpressed if a friend or family member said it (but perhaps understandable to a degree as it could come from a place of concern when they are used to seeing you much heavier, it can be a shock) but I'd be beyond furious if one of my work colleagues said that, even those I am friendly with.

ReenieHJ

After all the work that goes into modifying behavior and losing weight, it must be very disheartening to hear those kinds of comments. Maybe they're jealous?

I'd think of a snappy comeback and repeat every time you hear something like that, such as 'why is it your concern?' or 'I feel great!'

Good luck and congratulations!!

snowflake954

Well, just a point, sometimes people lose weight and people that don't know them well think they might have an illness. It can come from a position of concern. Just reply that your doctor is so pleased with your weight loss, and you are following his (or her) recommendations. Congratulations on your weight loss!

cupcakesandproteinshakes

“I have a healthy bmi, thanks and as a work colleague it’s not appropriate for you to comment”

ladyreva78

cupcakesandproteinshakes wrote: »

“I have a healthy bmi, thanks and as a work colleague it’s not appropriate for you to comment”

Fixed it for you .

Because none of it is any of their business and they don't need any information about anyone's body, not even that the weight is in a healthy BMI range.

hipari

Yeeeeeah, none of their business. While this makes my boss infuriatingly distant sometimes (we're pretty close otherwise), his policy actually makes sense: he never comments on anything related to anyone's looks or body, not even compliments. No comments on new haircuts, nice shirts/suits, weight loss, nothing. Apparently he has said the wrong thing in the past, and learned his lesson the hard way.

littlegreenparrot1

I think that's appalling.

I would consider having a chat with HR about their behaviour, they cannot go round making inappropriate comments about appearance.

SuzySunshine99

It's interesting how most people would never point out that someone has GAINED weight...I mean, no normal person would say "Wow, you have sure gained a lot of weight...did you mean to do that? Don't you think you've gained enough?" So, why do the same people think it's appropriate to substitute weight LOSS in that example?

cmriverside

Yes to talking to HR about it.

I think I would look them right in the eye and (NOT smiling) say, "Mind your own business."

ebrookes73

Nasty behaviours from your colleagues. Emotional manipulation techniques (you'll look ugly! your husband will abandon you!) to avoid facing up to their own issues. Hold your head high and keep doing you.

KNoceros

SuzySunshine99 wrote: »

It's interesting how most people would never point out that someone has GAINED weight...I mean, no normal person would say "Wow, you have sure gained a lot of weight...did you mean to do that? Don't you think you've gained enough?" So, why do the same people think it's appropriate to substitute weight LOSS in that example?

That’s a really good point, there’s definitely something strange in our collective psyche going on.

For those who supplied come-back type responses, I wish I was as present as you guys. Was actually happened was a very dirty look was given followed by a terse “Ok... well, I’m good as I am”.
Not very eloquent but more than enough explanation.


And then I found myself musing on their motivation, hence the post.

cupcakesandproteinshakes

ladyreva78 wrote: »

cupcakesandproteinshakes wrote: »

“I have a healthy bmi, thanks and as a work colleague it’s not appropriate for you to comment”

Fixed it for you .

Because none of it is any of their business and they don't need any information about anyone's body, not even that the weight is in a healthy BMI range.

What I would want to say if someone said that to me is not for you to “fix”