Really questioning my current and goal weight...

netitheyeti
netitheyeti Posts: 539 Member
edited June 2020 in Motivation and Support
So I'm a 30yo woman, 159cm tall and I've been maintaining 58kg (+- 1kg) since roughly February. This puts me, on average, at a BMI of 22.9
I've been questioning my goals to begin with - the main point of maintaining has been 1) a break from pushing for a deficit and 2) to give my body time to adjust and also to get used to more exercise... I wanted to see if I'd be happy with my current weight if I gave it more time.
And I was a bit on the fence, and considering dropping to maybe 55-56kg - so not a huge drop, but any changes below 60kg tend to be noticeable on me.

Anyway, I stupidly got into a discussion last night. I go to an adult education German class and the topic of the class was "average people". We were, at some point, supposed to guess what the average woman at the average height (which I think we had as 167cm or so?) weighed. Me and another person guessed mid/high 60s (in kg), another person was convinced it was mid 50s (kg). I stupidly used myself as an example and said I was pretty sure it would be closer to mid/high 60s considering I'm shorter than average and I don't think I'm particularly big at 58kg. I really shouldn't have taken it too personally but this person basically gave me the "hm" and weird look when I said I was in the normal weight range for 159cm. I admittedly got a bit defensive/brought up my BMI/said my doctor was happy with my weight.

Do I really still look overweight/bigger than "normal"? The good old "your perfect weight should be your height in cm minus 110" came out... Which is also a line I've been hearing from family members (grandma). But that would put me at 49kg which sounds.. low. I'm not super small framed.. (at least I don't think I am?) I really don't know what to do or what to aim for anymore

I don't think I'm technically overweight but this has me worrying, again, that my body build/composition still makes me look overweight/overfat despite upping my workouts to 5-6 days a week past 3-4 months and improving in terms of strength and endurance.

How do I pick a good weight? I've been as heavy as 90kg (if not heavier) back when I was 18 or 19yo, I've been as light as 49kg due to dental issues at one point (found it completely unsustainable), but I've spent most of the past decade bouncing between BMI 25 and BMI 27 - this has been my "ok, I'm done being x kg over" push that finally got me back to a "normal" weight... just.. where to go from here

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Replies

  • tapwaters
    tapwaters Posts: 428 Member
    ^that^ You look like you're at a very healthy normal weight. You don't know what his "Hmm" meant, he might have been genuinely thinking about what you're saying. Either way, it doesn't matter what that person or anyone in your family thinks. It matters what /you/ think and what /you/ feel. I believe you look to be a fabulous weight for your frame, but again, it's not about me.

    If you're happy and healthy, then that's a great spot.
  • netitheyeti
    netitheyeti Posts: 539 Member
    tapwaters wrote: »
    ^that^ You look like you're at a very healthy normal weight. You don't know what his "Hmm" meant, he might have been genuinely thinking about what you're saying. Either way, it doesn't matter what that person or anyone in your family thinks. It matters what /you/ think and what /you/ feel. I believe you look to be a fabulous weight for your frame, but again, it's not about me.

    If you're happy and healthy, then that's a great spot.

    the person followed it up with "I think 60 is too high to be average weight" and something along the lines that my weight would be ideal if I was 168-169cm... I tried to say I fall well within "normal" on the weight charts but I think maybe I just look bigger in person? It didn't come across as thinking... just kinda threw me off tbh, like - I wasn't super sure I was happy staying where I was to begin with but I figured at least it was probably a "me" problem, not other people still thinking "too fat"?
  • bobsburgersfan
    bobsburgersfan Posts: 6,305 Member
    First of all, a true average is most likely in overweight ranges, depending on where you live. That would make you much smaller than average. :) You look fantastic in those photos, and I think you look especially small in the second one, so don't let that person mess with your head.

    You are in the healthy range on the BMI chart, and your doctor is happy, so there's no reason that you need to drop more. A couple more kg is still right in that healthy range, but don't do it because of what this person said to you.
  • threewins
    threewins Posts: 1,455 Member
    No, you don't look overweight. In my opinion the best way to check your body weight is with a full length mirror. Congratulations on losing 32 kg and keeping it off for a long time.