Enough...I'm Ready

Carp614

Hi. I'm John
I'm a 45 year old gray haired fat guy. I'm 6' 2". I weigh about 245 very unfit pounds.

I was an athlete in my youth. But I fell apart. Emotional issues, alcoholism/addiction (almost 15 years sober now). I joined the Navy to turn my life around and succeeded, but when I left the service I fell apart physically. At one point, I was pushing 270 lbs. I made some changes and lost some weight, but plateaued. Good enough and pizza is awesome is where I ended up. I have some success in other areas. But I hate the way I look and feel. I'm disgusted by what I see in the mirror. The lack of discipline, the lack of self control. Yuck. There's no symmetry between what I've accomplished in life and the way that I look.

Then this past January I got sick. Not like hospital sick, but knocked down hard. When I recovered I found I had trouble just walking up a flight of stairs and I couldn't even do 10 pushups without stopping to rest. I was shocked at the loss of so much strength and stamina. Sickness has never done that to me before.

It was frustrating to be so frail. I thought, "oh well, I guess you just a useless old fat guy now for good." But you know what...

NO

I am not ready to give up. My wife and two beautiful daughters deserve better than this. I deserve better than this. I don't have any specific goals yet. No weight goal or muscle goal or physique specifics. Just a powerful resistance to the idea of giving up and a curiosity about what I could actually accomplish if I apply myself.

I decided to start by getting more active. I have a large property and this time of year I do a lot of strenuous yard work like cutting down trees, or trimming a 3 acre fence line, so I feel like cardio is pretty well covered to start with. I'm starting on conditioning by doing ten (proper breaking the plane) push ups a day .

Honestly, this is how weak I am; I spent an hour string trimming my yard yesterday and did my first ten pushups when I finished. I did them without stopping with good form. I was happy with the start, but within hours it felt like I tore muscles in my shoulders/pecks. This morning I did my second ten and I could only do eight before I had to take a knee. #$%&! So frustrating!

Right now I'm feeling overwhelmed. When I look at Body Mass Index numbers it looks like I need to lose about 50 pounds. That seems impossible. I don't know where to start. I'm hoping to get some advice and encouragement here.

Thanks

lexicrocker16

Hi! A good way to get fit is to take walks around your neighborhood, or eat healthier. I take a walk every day, and Usually eat a salad for lunch. I also do yoga and meditation every day, because having a healthy mind helps with a healthy body

MaltedTea

This Canadian thanks you for your service. I do hope this process gets you talking more positively about yourself along the way because your intro is rough AF, my friend!

If you're into podcasts there are some Navy vets doing great things. The "Jocko Podcast." I'd also suggest the "David Goggins Interviews" podcast even though I haven't heard it. His audiobook "Can't Hurt Me" is voiced by him and quite moving.

Both guys do talk about their fitness routine from time to time but their main thing is mindset and motivation.

Welcome to the MFP forums. You'll like it here.

Lietchi

Baby steps, just start with baby steps

I started out wanting to lose 58lbs (to reach a normal BMI) in August and my only exercise was walking (on a treadmill).
My fitness level was very bad. But gradually I increased my walking speed and then incline too.

And now I've lost 40lbs so far and I've gone from walking to being able to jog for over an hour non-stop.

Don't let your end goal intimidate you, just give yourself some mini goals.
For example: I'd start with push-ups every two days, to give your body time to recuperate, before moving on to daily push-ups.

PS: don't forget to look at your calorie intake as well, not just exercise. A calorie deficit is what it takes to lose weight.
And as you lose weight, those push-ups will get easier too!
There is some great info in the Getting Started subforum (especially the stickied post at the top with links to useful topics).
Just logging your food for a week or two, and then setting up your goals on MFP and sticking to the calorie goal MFP gives you is a great first goal.

Good luck

Lynatea

You've taken back control, and that's so important when you feel like you can't control anything else in your life. Kudos to you! Welcome to MFP....You can DO THIS!

NovusDies

I think it is better to have vague goals and allow specific ones show up. Examples of specific goals might be wearing a certain clothing size, walking or running a certain distance, or lifting an amount. I do not worry about these until I see them coming up. My goal was always to be healthier, thinner, and in a better state of fitness. I had no idea where it would all lead and still don't. As long as I think I can continue to improve while maintaining a proper life balance I will push forward. After that I will attempt to maintain and refine what I started.

I accomplish my health goals each day I improve on what was handed to me by yesterday's me. I will try to hand tomorrow's me a slightly better version of myself to build on. If I fail to improve today, which sometimes happens, I trust tomorrow's me will do better as he usually does.

Define a process that is easy to implement even on days you feel like "calling it in." Identify the traits that have helped you be successful in other areas of your life and apply them to weight loss. This was something that took me far too long to do. Usually any type of success or proficiency is a result patiently laying bricks. Weight loss and fitness are a result of chipping away at what is wrong and building on what is right. It doesn't happen quickly, it is the power of incremental change.

MidlifeCrisisFitness

You can do it. FR sent.

MeganD1704

You got this!
Thank you for your service.

I find that smaller goals make a big difference- focus on 3 or 5 lbs at a time instead of the whole 50 lbs. It can be a bit of a mental challenge to dwell on that 50, by putting it into smaller pieces it becomes much more doable and attainable.
Totally agree with @MaltedTea on the podcasts and your mental mindset, Jocko's podcast is great.

I'd also suggest trying to find a group on here that interests you.I am personally a huge Harry Potter fan and find those groups help keep me accountable and having fun while dropping the lbs. The support is incredible as well.
Best of luck !

Carp614

Awesome! Thanks everyone so much for your support. Here is a bit more context and stuff:

- I had oral surgery about two weeks ago. Tooth removed and bone graft. The whole process aggravated my TMJ on the right side. To rest I have pretty much been on a liquid diet. I think the surgery has my cortisol levels through the roof and might partly explain my sore core (So, so, so sore) from just push ups.

- I normally travel every week for work. Covid mercifully put an end to that. With home cooked whole foods meals, I have lost a little weight.
- I started logging my diet this week. I'm not doing the smoothies to lose weight, just to avoid complications from the tooth removal. I am hoping to capitalize on the weight loss I might experience, but I will be moving back to a whole foods diet as soon as I can.

- When you've given up on being fit, you don't bother buying clothes that fit, even if you lose weight. Y'all I bought a new pair of jeans with a 35 inch waist and they fit! I was so defeated I never thought would be able to fit into smaller jeans. I even bought my belts too big, assuming I was just going to get bigger and bigger.

- Definitely avoiding specific end goals for now. I do have one, but it's more like a dream than a goal. I want to be able to go on trail rides with my daughters, who love horses. I'm too heavy right now. Most places want you to be under 220. So my dream is to be less than that. I can't believe that's only about 25 pounds away. I've never been so close!

Carp614

gothchiq

Take it day by day, man. Don't think about 50 lbs. Think about eating right today and exercising today, then do it again and again. It will work.

cgcdavis7

Get through today with the best decisions possible. Then you start tomorrow knowing what you did yesterday got you closer to what you want. Before you know it, 30 days will have passed and then 60. As cheesy as it sounds, it really all does start with that first step. And I guaran-freakin-tee you your wife and girls don't see you as negative as you spoke about yourself. You are a hero. That's coming from a daughter who loves her dad unconditionally. That hill you see in front of you is 100% climeable. You got this.

pridesabtch

I'm 46 with 2 girls and loving husband. Would love to have another friend determined not to let live run them by.

Jana_2020

Great advice in this thread. I can also relate to Carp614. The post title "Enough, I'm ready" was exactly how I felt when I joined MFP 4 weeks ago. I'm now down 6 lbs and am still working on replacing bad habits with good habits to serve me better as I age. Anyone can feel free to add me if looking for mutual support and encouragement along the way.