I'm chubby, but I feel thin.

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Sauleeh
Sauleeh Posts: 83 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm not sure if I'm posting this on the right section.

I don't know if this is me asking for help or anything. I guess I just want to know if anybody feels like me.

Here is a little backstory.. I'm an 18 year old female. I'm 5'1 and around 140pounds. Over the past year I've gained maybe 10 pounds due to the fact I was in college and wasn't eating the best. All my life I was never slim. Never. I always had fat on me. I don't know if my mother allowed me too many sweets or what, but I was never slim. I never liked my weight.

Recently I've started the Insanity DVD, but some days I feel that it's hard to do, as I have other things to do or other things on my mind and other days I just feel very ill to do many things.

When I sit here typing this, I don't feel 'fat'. Not that I am overly fat, but I am overweight for my height. I never really felt so so big. But often when I am with my thinner friends I feel like a whale. Sometimes when I walk somewhere, and i catch a glimpse of my reflection I look so fat. When I see people on the street, and they are quite big, and I always wonder if I am as big as them.

Pictures are the worse. My face is quite chubby, my arms are flabby, and my stomach is the worst. My breasts are large (36D or DD not sure) and with my small height everything just looks off. My breasts add that extra thickness onto me. I hate it.

But yet with all that, when I don't see myself and just go on about my day I don't feel this big. Not that I feel skinny, but I don't feel 'my size'. Has anybody ever experienced this?

Replies

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Yeah... and honestly it was denial. I was holding my pants and I was like 'that's huge, there's no way they're not too big on me', but they were tight.
  • bethannien
    bethannien Posts: 556 Member
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    Yeah... and honestly it was denial. I was holding my pants and I was like 'that's huge, there's no way they're not too big on me', but they were tight.
    This for me too.

    I will buy a size large shirt because it looks big enough, I get home and it's way too small.
  • lorigem
    lorigem Posts: 446 Member
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    Yep I feel the same. It's the photos that kind of make me really see how I am. But in the mirror even, I see an average looking girl...sometimes even thin (when I suck in my stomach). Ha! But the scale and measurements tell a different story. :\
  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
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    I understand what you're saying and I think you are a beautiful young woman.
    At my heaviest, I was 188 at 5'2". When I got down to 140, I felt positively svelte! So thin, that I just stayed at that weight for several years and was very happy. Eventually I decided I was ready to leave being "overweight" and become "normal" weight. I went down to 130, then 125 and now I'm 122 and I'm pretty much done give or take.

    I'm glad I did it slowly, with long stops along the way because it got me comfortable at each stage of weightloss.
    Take your time-you're very young. The slower you lose, the more sustainable I think it will be.
  • Sauleeh
    Sauleeh Posts: 83 Member
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    Yeah... and honestly it was denial. I was holding my pants and I was like 'that's huge, there's no way they're not too big on me', but they were tight.
    This for me too.

    I will buy a size large shirt because it looks big enough, I get home and it's way too small.

    Oh YES YES YES! I always think I get clothes that will be just right, or even too big. But then I put it on and it's tight, clingy and makes me look bad. I love shopping, but recently I've been feeling terrible and don't like to buy new clothes. I don't want to buy a bigger size... :(

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