Don’t see myself how others see me

youknowigotitonlock

So I’m kind of just on here to vent I guess. Last week I had relatives in town and my grandma commented on my weight “don’t you think you would feel better with a couple more pound on you” which is fine I figured that’s just something relatives do because they haven’t seen you in a while. Long story short family friends have asked my family if I am anorexic. Friends of mine also say “your to skinny” but why can’t I see this. When I look in the mirror I feel like I could continue to loose weight. But hearing all these messages have triggered me into a wild week of eating more than usual.

tuckerrj

What's your height and weight, or post a photo if you want folks to agree or disagree. Otherwise, I can tell you after I lost the first 20 lbs. of the 65 lbs I was into an obese BMI, I had people telling me I needed to stop, , , as if it was any of their business. So maybe relax, you can't control what others think or say.

youknowigotitonlock

5 foot 10 152.2 pounds this morning, I don’t post pictures for anonymity purposes

harper16

What would you like to weigh? Have you thought about focusing more on recomping instead of losing weight? You are in the healthy range for your height and weight.

youknowigotitonlock

I do want to put on muscle, but I don’t like the idea of “bulking” but some lean mass wouldn’t hurt I guess.

tuckerrj

You're near the exact middle of the "Normal" range for BMI. So it would be difficult to envision you look anorexic. If folks are used to seeing you at a significantly heavier weight, that might be why they think you look too thin. You could weigh up to 174 pounds before you would approach the "Overweight" category. I'm in the middle of the "overweight" category and nearly all of the folks that are used to seeing me much heavier (morbidly obese) have been saying I'm too thin.

threewins

When I reach goal weight I'll be lighter than you, and I'm taller as well. But I'm rather low on muscle on my body. If you want to lose weight, do so. You can estimate your body fat percentage using the body adiposity index https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_adiposity_index. Yes it is annoying when people make comments about your body.

Is a person underweight? Do they have low energy related to low food intake? Health issues? If the answer is no, it certainly looks like they are not underweight.

PS there is a replacement for BMI, it is 1.3*w/(h^2.5). If you don't know what that means, or how to calculate it, don't worry about it, it's not important enough.

By the way some people will comment about other people's bodies, because that's their thing. Their guesses have pretty much zero value.

sh3wolf

I myself have experienced this when was younger and lost weight. I would get criticism by family. As long as you are happy in your own skin and at a healthy weight don't worry. Make sure you are in a positive state of mind toward yourself and your body. One suggestion if you are concerned is to make an appointment with the doctor or other nutrition/health specialist to make sure you are within a healthy weight range. Knowing that an expert deems you as healthy will allow you to qualm your fears and worries with the views other people have. These critical friends, family, and acquaintances may be overly worried, not used to seeing you at a healthy weight, or even just projecting their own feelings about themselves. Keep in mind that your health, and happiness are most important!

Kaitie9399

So many people have told me that 'I'm too skinny' now. It's annoying and as Tucker said, it's none of their business.

MadisonMolly2017

I don’t know if you are in the US, but here are some useful statistics:

“The National Center for Health Statistics estimates that, for 2015-2016 in the U.S., 39.8% of adults aged 20 and over were obese (including 7.6% with severe obesity) and that another 31.8% were overweight.”

So, when we get to a normal BMI, we look thinner than 71.6% of the population! Wow

Anorexia: “ At any given point in time between 0.3-0.4% of young women and 0.1% of young men will suffer from anorexia nervosa” That’s 3-4 women out of 1,000. 1 out of 1,000 men.

And “unexplained weight loss” medical reasons...

https://www.mayoclinic.org/symptoms/unexplained-weight-loss/basics/causes/sym-20050700

So, here’s what I think happens, anorexia can be life threatening & it’s in the media (esp for young women although prevalence is common until age 60+) & we all know that UNEXPLAINED weight loss can be a symptom of a serious medical condition. Combine that to a population where THE NORM is overweight...

In addition, when we lose pounds, we DO lose muscle (ameliorated by weight lifting, which you said you might want to do). I was not as strong when I hit my goal weight as I am now 22 months later. I look more toned, skin looks healthier - because I’m not in a calorie deficit!! When I look back at photos, I look thinner, but not as healthy back then. After all I’d been depriving myself of calories over 3.3 years (gradual weight loss).

Reassure family members, patiently.
Be honest with yourself Re: your weight.
Begin a focus on strength so the scale is not your sole focus.
Consult your doctor. That’s what I did because I was driving myself nuts trying to decide upon a goal weight. ALL of my doctors agreed. “Below 25 BMI”

Your BMI of 21.8 is normal.

Maintain your weight & relatives will relax over time.

Congratulations!