I hit an emotional wall, just this moment

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I have been coming off of amitryptaline (sp?) for the last number of months. I've read accounts where some people come off of it just fine, and some people have the most hellish time of it. I have been in the latter group- have had everything from illness, to physical pain, to lack of sleep, to pins and needles and numbness in hands and feet, to suicidal thoughts. I am NOT suicidal. Let's just get that out there. I have lots of reasons that I love my life. However, the THOUGHTS... they slam into me, broadside me, and they catch me off-guard... out of the blue, and they leave me in tears and breathless. My doctor is aware. And it doesn't happen often.

I've been totally off of them for a month, but they take 6 months to get out of one's system.

I just got hit by those thoughts. Really bad ones.

And it's affected my entire outlook on the day... I just want to hide.

I could use a hug. I could use someone to tell me NOT to dive into the cookies. I've been so good, worked so hard. I don't want to wreck it.

Replies

  • sheleen302
    sheleen302 Posts: 266 Member
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    Consider yourself hugged! You already know what's driving these crazy emotions, just ignore them, if you can. Focus on something that makes you feel good, like your hubby, future children, whatever makes you happy. Hoping for a speedy "purge" of all the meds. Best to you.
  • sarahshoulak
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    You have absolutely NO reason to dive into the cookies! You're amazing! I wish I could give you TEN HUGS if I could! Your story is inspirational and there are some people in my life who need to get off certain meds but can't for some of the reasons that you listed. At the end of the day, you are AMAZINGLY strong and it's sad that you can't talk about it because of some silly social stigma about "suicidal thoughts." Notice how many times you had to clarify that you weren't suicidal? Silly. You should say what you feel when you feel it and know that there are people ALL AROUND YOU who are waiting to support you if you need anything!
    You're a ROCK STAR. Freaking. Rock. STAR. Own it. Be proud of how far you've come off those meds and know that tomorrow will slowly get better, over and over again! <3<3<3
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
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    Thanks, you two... it just takes my breath away.

    The support is so appreciated... thank you. *hugs*
  • exie95
    exie95 Posts: 12
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    I had A LOT of problems coming off cymbalta.
    I couldn't eat for a week because I kept puking up everything I ate, I had super scary dreams, and bunches of other stuff.
    It was awful. So awful that I had to go back on it.

    But I tried coming off slower not too long after that, and it ended up being easier.

    Anyway, I used to be on Adderall, a mood stabilizer, an antipsychotic, and an antidepressent

    And now I'm off all of it.

    I know EXACTLY how you feel, but trust me, it can be done(:
  • choijanro
    choijanro Posts: 754 Member
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    Well thats natural of being a human living on this planed called Earth,, S**t happens,, they are other people who are negative,, thats why to be honest sometimes i became mad,loses my temper and loses my patience or its ruin my day,, but i dont let that consume me or ruined my life and goals,,, thats why i just ignore them, think positive or i will just revenge them the way they do that to me or revenge them with peace and my kindness :D
  • WestCoastWild
    WestCoastWild Posts: 147 Member
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    You came to the right place! Awesome job turning to MFP instead of the cookie jar :) Unhappiness definitely washes over everyone sometimes, and there's not much to do other than wait it out. Or distract yourself with a good book and some tea, and you'll be proud of yourself for that when you go to bed :)
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
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    Hug hug hug! You'll get through this!
  • Kittyvicious1
    Kittyvicious1 Posts: 190 Member
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    Im not on meds but I have anxiety of all sorts. What I found which works for me is keeping busy. Doing something positive towards my life. I went back to school because of my thoughts. I graduated with my BA this past May. Believe me the books and studying dont give the mind time to wonder. Stay busy is my advice. Lots of hugd
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,011 Member
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    Hugs, hugs, hugs.this too shall pass and back away from the cookies.you can do it
  • CSJAN12014
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    It's brilliant to see such instant support from the MFP community... good work guys
    I wish the very best for you VictorianJade... stay strong... you can do it!!!
    Just try to absorb some of positive thinking that's being focused in your direction, right now, from who know's where?

    Great effort... you don't need to hide... you just need to hide that damn cookie jar!!!!
    Best wishes
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
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    Thanks, y'all. I ended up eating bread and ice cream with and after dinner... BUT... I stayed under my calories. I at least was conscious of quantity, even if I sucked at the power to deny it entirely.

    You guys have been great... I appreciate it.
  • shellsies93
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    I've been there and the one thing I can tell you is everyday seemed to get easier, atleast for me. You don't need those cookies, you can be strong and come out of this even stronger! good luck and here is a huge hug from me!!!
  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
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    (((((VictorianJade)))))


    No cookies today.
  • Aiiryfairy
    Aiiryfairy Posts: 35 Member
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    Hugeeee hugs being sent your way! ♥
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
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    Thanks, guys.

    I'm still wrestling with it today... so the hugs are appreciated!