10 Years of Yo-Yo'ing - How Do I Stop!?

lilmissrmb

Since age 18 I've been fluctuating with weight (lowest 156lbs; highest 224lbs). I have tried mostly everything to get my weight down and have managed to (on many occasions) succeed.

However here I am again at my highest weight (-1lb last week).

I have IBS, wheat and lactose sensitivity and was on hormonal contraception for nearly 10 years (I'd love to blame it for all my gains!)

I'm after advise on how I can stay focused and stop gaining everything back and then some! I know the fundementals but yet I can't seem to stop myself eating my feelings, avoiding exercise, saying "today's my cheat day" and then letting that send me into a downward spiral of "well I've blown it now so might as well eat whatever."

It's like watching myself do this to my body but not being able to do anything.

Sorry for rambling, I'm so lost!

NovusDies

You seem to be suffering from all or nothing thinking and an unhealthy relationship with food. Your past efforts failed to stick because you have lost physical weight but never addressed the real problem which is the mindset and the habits of the person who gained it.

Once hunger is under control physical weight loss is fairly academic. You eat slightly less food energy than you need each day and your body is forced to turn to stored energy to make up the difference.

The mental aspects are much more complicated. We are driven to eat and to seek pleasure. In a world where we do not often have a lot of control food is usually the thing we can control and it serves as a refuge. It provides extremely fleeting pleasure that can only be revisited by eating more. We need food to live and move but consistent excess food is a depressant and it can rob us of freedom and it can help to kill us.

The all or nothing thinking is best replaced with compromise. Here are some of my rules that helped me get over my own all or nothing thinking:

1) I will continue to eat all the food that I used to gain weight as long as I can moderate it.
2) I will allow myself to eat up to maintenance calories on any day I feel the need.
3) I only need to lose weight most days
4) I will show up each morning ready to execute that day's plan

Rule 1 kept me from continuing the cycle of depriving myself certain foods when I was trying to lose weight. I didn't need to eat healthy I only needed to eat a healthy number of calories.

Rule 2 took the pressure off. If I was having a bad day I could eat more but still had a limit. The surprising thing is by giving myself permission I almost never needed to eat more for "bad day" reasons.

Rule 3 reminded me that if I made a mistake or experienced weakness and ate too much it didn't matter as long as I didn't keep doing it.

Rule 4 is my most sacred rule. Whether the previous day was a huge success or a colossal failure I start each new day fresh. If the day happens to be Christmas and I will be planning to eat more food I still start the day acknowledging the plan. The only way I truly ever fail is to stop showing up. I live one day at a time. I lose weight one day at a time. I only need to do my part today and allow tomorrow to be tomorrow's me concern. If I do not do my part today I trust tomorrow's me will do better because he typically does. If I do my part tomorrow me will be grateful that I handed him a body that is in slightly better shape.

I think a starting place for the other mental aspects of weight loss is the Beck Diet Solution book. I say that with the caveat that this book over-promises and it also tries to wrap things up in a tidy little package. There is a lot of very useful tools to learn from it but true CBT requires modification/customization that is normally done through interaction with a therapist. It should help give you some tools and a greater awareness and then you will need to build on it from there.

quiksylver296

In addition to @novusdies terrific answer, this thread is awesome. As is the Half_Size_Me podcast.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

lilmissrmb

Thank you both.

@NovusDies this is so insightful and I can totally agree. I think it's the mental challenge for me. Your rules are helpful and I think I will implement something similar for myself. Thanks also for the reading material suggestion!

@quiksylver296 thanks for the suggested threads. Where do I go to hear that podcast please?

quiksylver296

lilmissrmb wrote: »

Thank you both.

@NovusDies this is so insightful and I can totally agree. I think it's the mental challenge for me. Your rules are helpful and I think I will implement something similar for myself. Thanks also for the reading material suggestion!

@quiksylver296 thanks for the suggested threads. Where do I go to hear that podcast please?

Do you have an Apple phone? There's an app installed when you get the phone, it's purple and just called Podcasts. Search in that app. It's free.

The host also does Youtube videos. You can search in Youtube, too.

I don't know on Android.