Falling off the wagon HARD

creesama

What have you guys done to replace emotional eating? The last week has been tough with 2020 normal stress plus family fighting, deciding the possible future of my husband's career vs becoming the stay-at-home parent, and now our dog most likely will need to be put down (lost our other dog only a year ago). I'm at the end of my rope and went on a binge of pizza and brownies. I knew I shouldn't, but didn't care. What do you guys do to keep it from happening?

Megan_smartiepants1970

Sorry you are having a rough time ...I hope it gets better for you ....What I have done in the past is gone on a long walk with my daughter and dogs

lgfrie

There's no easy answer to your question. If there was a reliable and easy way to not binge when stressed, the world's population would be stick thin and there'd be no MFP.

That said, oh man has 2020 been stressful for me, in so many ways. We (wife and I) did lose the diet thread for a while when we were hit with coronavirus lockdown, then death of her father, who was in a senior care facility in NY when all the infected people were sent to the old folks homes and killed them, and we lost our 14 year old cat, and so many other things. It did seem like the diets were the last things we had any emotional space available for, and we did gain a few pounds.

The way we regrouped was by (a) just accepting the small regains as par for the course (because it is 2020 and in 2020 everything goes wrong) so that we weren't transferring general life stress over to diet stress too, and (b) setting calories to maintenance for a while and really being strict about it, with the counting, logging, and so forth. We just couldn't run a calorie deficit with all the stress, but we were able to run break-even weeks and track the food pretty well. So I would recommend that - just forget about dieting until other things settle down, and focus on maintaining but being strict about it.

Switching over to maintenance a times when dieting isn't going to work anyway, is highly underrated. It's very doable, and a huge improvement on gaining weight.

Hanibanani2020

Love yourself through it. Tomorrow is another fresh day to start again and do is the day after that and the day after that one. I recently lost my beautiful dog at six years old and it was really hard especially as I was dealing with family things as well. I really got hard into running during that time and I would mentally run from my anxieties until all I was focused on was my breathing then I would go home. Find something that takes your focus from food and is cathartic as well. Be kind to yourself. Realise that while weightloss is good for your health so are other things so prioritising is important. You can get through this

RastaLousGirl

I hear you on the emotional eating. It has been hard. Before I knew it, I gained all my weight back. I can share with you how I have been handling my emotional eating.
I do not go to the store hungry or when I have a terrible sweet tooth. This helps me to make more nutritional decisions. I don't deny me anything I want, but I do try to find a more nutritional version of it. For example, I wanted sone Reeses Peanut butter cups, but I found a dark chocolate version of it with lesser calories. Recently, I have been keeping the house filled with veggies, low calorie snacks, and fruits. I know that if it is in the house, I will eat it. If not, I want go out of my way to go get it. But, as long as I log and stay within my calorie range, I eat. On bad days, I don't punish myself, I just start over again the next day. I keep continuing each day, no matter how many times "I Feel" I have failed. I know eventually I will get it.
Also, Skinny popcorn is a great snack for me. I just traded the heavy munching with some lighter munching and drink alot of water. Well, that's how I have been handling mine. But, each person has their different ways.

Lynatea

In late 2019 we lost my FIL at Thanksgiving and my mom a week before Christmas after a long illness. When my life seemed it couldn't be any more chaotic and with everything around me going to *kitten* with things I had NO control over, it was a light bulb moment. The only thing I could control was what I was eating. So, I used the sadness and despair to take back that control. It was a very empowering moment in my life.

You have to push through it. I'm so glad I did as I'm down 42 pounds this year. Still sad, still grieving but so much happier internally with me.

Best wishes to you.😊

Nbaker0909

I find just making myself busy with other things (not just my hands) helps the urge go away. Sometimes that means cleaning my house. Sometimes I take my one year old outside to play. Sometimes we go for a walk. Getting out of the house helps me a lot. I have a few shops nearby so I’ve even told myself if I really want something I have to walk to the store to get it (even if I have it in the house).

But 2020 has also been a bear of a year so be kind to yourself and just start fresh today. You got this!

cmriverside

Everything @lgfrie said.

Stress just causes everything to go sideways. I agree that eating at Maintenance will help a lot.

With that said, the only times I allow treat foods are when it's a celebration of some sort, so I've pretty much eliminated stress-treats.

Covid loves inflammation (sugar causes inflammation.) It hates exercise (exercise helps lungs and reduces inflammation plus a lot of other good things for the immune system.) That in itself has been an education for me.

lauragreenbaum

Well, first I forgive myself when I fall off the wagon. Times are very hard right now for everyone and it's a scary, uncertain world. When I fall, I take a deep breath, reach out to a supportive friend, then I get back on that wagon.

Geneveremfp

Hanibanani2020 wrote: »

Love yourself through it. Tomorrow is another fresh day to start again and do is the day after that and the day after that one. I recently lost my beautiful dog at six years old and it was really hard especially as I was dealing with family things as well. I really got hard into running during that time and I would mentally run from my anxieties until all I was focused on was my breathing then I would go home. Find something that takes your focus from food and is cathartic as well. Be kind to yourself. Realise that while weightloss is good for your health so are other things so prioritising is important. You can get through this

Such a great response.

You're not a terrible person for making a few non ideal food choices. Get back on the horse when you can.

I personally have found exercise a great filler. I love yoga when I'm feeling rubbish. There's a yoga with Adriene called yoga for vulnerability that I do when it's all a bit much and have a good cry. Not going to be a fix all but it's helped me.

briscogun

I wouldn't classify a one day pizza and brownie fest as "falling off the wagon hard". It was one episode. Big deal. Log it and move on. I've had a few "fun days" or "relaxed weekends" where I've just said "the heck with it" and pounded a pizza or wings or beers or whatever. Logged it as best as I could, weighed myself the next morning, moved on. It's not like you MUST eat at your required calories EVERY SINGLE DAY OR ELSE. We are human. We have good days. We have bad days. We eat more some days just because we want to. The difference is owning it and not turning a blind eye to it for days, weeks, months, or even years.

You have to give yourself permission to fail sometimes if you want to succeed long term. But you have to own it, good and bad. You can literally undo a bad day of overeating in like a matter of days. It's mostly all sodium and water weight anyways. The key is to have a bad day or two, not a bad year or two!

NovusDies

Awareness may help some.

Consider how much you care now. Consider how this eating has added to your stress instead of alleviating it. Your situation has not improved, nothing has been solved, and the excess food was a promise of relief that was a lie.

When we tell ourselves we don't care we are trying to push the extra eating into a blind spot. Once you become aware of the calories though that is not really successful because you are only trying not to care. The notion that you are eating more than you need most likely nags at your and diminishes whatever fleeting enjoyment the food would provide. And fleeting is the best it ever gets in those situations. We are shoveling in food fast so we don't stop ourselves and we are not even taking the time to fully appreciate the sensory experience of the food we are consuming.

The trick is taking the time to recognize that we do care and will care even more once the deed is done.

Awareness sometimes takes a different path here though. Sometimes the awareness that is needed is that you have not been eating enough food (losing weight too fast) -or- that for a short time you need to maintenance to bring your serotonin levels back up and improve your mood.

Whatever the case may be once the deed is done it is time to log it, learn from it as needed, and move on. There is no reason to feel guilty. The best of us have bad days. I practice a lot of awareness but it doesn't always mean I make the best decisions. I embrace my imperfection as part of the overall experience. I feel comfortable knowing that bumps in the road and minor detours may mean slight delays but not keep me from moving forward.

SBDino

I know this isn't an option for everyone (finance, schedule, what have you) but the number one thing that helps me control binge eating is therapy. Once I started to address the source of the emotions that led me to binge, the urge was less pronounced. I still have my bad days but it's more like once very two weeks now instead of every single day.

ahoy_m8

@NovusDies , that is all so well said. Every word of it is true for me.

ReenieHJ

I have no wiser words than has already been shared but just wanted to send you a cyber hug and wishes that you can turn it around. Stress, worries, depression, emotional eating is a very difficult thing to control when it (temporarily!!) makes you feel better. Unfortunately, when the food is long gone, the emotions are still there and if you're like me, you're also feeling failure, guilt, lack of self control which only prolongs the same vicious cycle. Take care of YOU and know YOU'RE worth taking care of. Maybe journaling your emotions and thoughts may help?

ElioraFR

if it happens more than a couple of times I set myself back to maintenance and try to get more walking. I realize something might be wrong and sit with myself and listen.

creesama

lgfrie wrote: »

There's no easy answer to your question. If there was a reliable and easy way to not binge when stressed, the world's population would be stick thin and there'd be no MFP.

That said, oh man has 2020 been stressful for me, in so many ways. We (wife and I) did lose the diet thread for a while when we were hit with coronavirus lockdown, then death of her father, who was in a senior care facility in NY when all the infected people were sent to the old folks homes and killed them, and we lost our 14 year old cat, and so many other things. It did seem like the diets were the last things we had any emotional space available for, and we did gain a few pounds.

The way we regrouped was by (a) just accepting the small regains as par for the course (because it is 2020 and in 2020 everything goes wrong) so that we weren't transferring general life stress over to diet stress too, and (b) setting calories to maintenance for a while and really being strict about it, with the counting, logging, and so forth. We just couldn't run a calorie deficit with all the stress, but we were able to run break-even weeks and track the food pretty well. So I would recommend that - just forget about dieting until other things settle down, and focus on maintaining but being strict about it.

Switching over to maintenance a times when dieting isn't going to work anyway, is highly underrated. It's very doable, and a huge improvement on gaining weight.

Thank you for responding, maintenance mode is a great idea. I feel like I can manage that and not feel guilty or like I'm back sliding.

And just for more context, I know 1 day isn't a big deal, the pizza/brownie binge was just the pinnacle of the last 3-4 days. It's been a ramp up. But I now have some really good suggestions to try and appreciate the help from everyone. I've got a tough rest of the week ahead with a heartbreaking possible decision to make. Having some strategies ready is making me feel better, even if just a little.

NovusDies

There is one other thing I should mention here. Not every problem needs a solution when it comes to food behavior. I have some negative food habits that I have chosen to ignore as long as they only occur occasionally. They cost me a little progress at times but I do not feel they are worth the mental investment it would try and take to "fix" it. I won't end up perfect regardless of what I do so I am careful in picking which battles to fight. The rest I take the alternate approach of "steering into the curve" and I try to manage the situation instead of fighting it. If I am going to eat more food than I need I might decide that I should eat a lot of vegetables before indulging in the pizza and brownies. This helps limit the higher calorie food and if I am engaging in some kind of a plan I have a better chance of enjoying the food I will eat.

kshama2001

SBDino wrote: »

I know this isn't an option for everyone (finance, schedule, what have you) but the number one thing that helps me control binge eating is therapy. Once I started to address the source of the emotions that led me to binge, the urge was less pronounced. I still have my bad days but it's more like once very two weeks now instead of every single day.

Yes, I started stress eating in March and reached out for CBT-based therapy, with mixed results, I think partly because she was an intern. I'm switching to more therapy therapy shortly.