Embarrassed about people seeing me

preshalin

So today I was at the grocery store buying some stuff.

I seen a female friend that I haven't seen in years. She was standing in the queue to pay. She didn't see me. So i purposely avoided her. I told myself I wasnt ready for her to see me becuase I haven't lost enough weight and don't look good enough.

Why am I like this? Deep down I really wanted to talk to her. She was a really good friend.

PAFC84

I do not think that anyone can answer that question for you, however, you do not feel happy in and with your self then perhaps you do not think other people will like/accept you either, especially those whose approval you want?

Alternatively, perhaps you are “shy” and wanted a reason not to do something which you might have vowed as being “outside of your comfort level”.

You are not your appearance/weight; try and remember that.

Hanibanani2020

How we view ourselves is rarely how other people see us. My advice is to not create narratives in your head or supportive growth of anxieties with a negative mindset. What you need to do is realise that you are doing an amazing thing right now. You are losing weight and improving your health physically so it’s really important to not neglect your mental health through it either. Remember you are doing this for you, not old friends or family or Stan who owns the news agency three suburbs away. This is ALL about you improving your life! So once you change how you view weightloss as not a sentence one must walk through before the great reveal but rather a fantastic and challenging experience where ever day is to be celebrated you’ll start to realise that saying hi to old friends is part of the healing and the changing. You’re awesome and you can do this🔥🔥

Diatonic12

@preshalin I used to do the same thing. Hide in the aisles of the grocery store, make a run for the car and then a clean getaway. Peer pressure is tough and we are influenced by the fitness culture to one degree or another.

Pain is the precursor to change. Not just physical but emotional pain, too.

It didn't help that I had a creepy boyfriend who made all kinds of snidely whiplash remarks and those still run through my head on rare occasions. He's long gone and good riddance. Whenever I saw him coming I would hide and run for the car.

In the beginning, I actually used all of that as ammo. If I felt like throwing in the towel in I could kick it UP a few notches by taking a trip down memory lane. I no longer hide. You know what they say about a reformed gambler, smoker or drinker...you develop a 'tude. All of the past can eat my dust, I will not be deterred.

preshalin

Thank you all for the wonderful advice. I will keep trying and focus on me.

suzyjmcd2

Oh boy, did I feel that same way when I finally got onto MFP and buckled down!!! It's probably the most impactful way I've changed my life since losing the weight. I was so embarrassed of myself. I hardly have any "before" pix because I wouldn't let myself be in any pix. I would walk around the mall or the grocery store looking down the entire time, never looking people in the face, out of embarrassment.

But with the weight coming off, and now hitting maintenance, I walk so much more proudly, confidently... looking people in the eye and smiling at them. It does get better!!!! You need to love yourself enough to turn that embarrassment into determination to get healthier, and you'll be so proud of your achievement!

Diatonic12

@suzyjmcd2 I threw all my Before photos away and I'm still happy about that. I no longer want any Before photos. I had whopping boatloads of Before photos and no Afters. It dawned on me that folks with a relatively normal relationship with food don't plaster their Befores or Afters all over the house. Nothing on the 'fridge, in the closets or on the bathroom mirror. No guilt. No shame. They live in the Now. They're present for every single day taking photos as they tool along life's highway.

I want to be like that. All of those Befores only added to the plight and dieting cycle that I wanted out of. I want long term stability with weight without constant starts and stops. No more rebound weight gain with friends. I've had enough of all of that unhappy horsesheet to last me several lifetimes.

No more hiding.

preshalin

It's very encouraging to know that people have experienced the same thing and broken through it. This journey has been tough, but I only realised recently the unhealthy relationship I have with food. Now that I have identified it. I believe i can work on it.