bitter people you try to talk to!

It really bothers me when you have that one person who is just sooo into themselves and bitter and you try and share your joy of wieght loss and they get mad at you. I understand that they are bitter or whatever because Im taking the steps to lose weight but jeez it isnt my fault. Why can't they just be happy for me. One person in particular gets mad because she ooops got pregnant (or so she says) and is now gaining weight. Well she haws had a kid before she should know that eating better is better for her and for the baby. She also never has and wont now take advice. She just gets mad and tells me she doesnt wanna hear baout it. It really ticks me off becuase I should be able to express my joy with her and I really feel like telling her that it is not my fault she got herself pregnant because she wasnt being careful.

ok vent over lol. I really hate nay sayers.

Replies

asteppaway

Yeah, stuff like that has really caused me to feel like I can't say anything around most people...only a select few. That's what I love about this site, everyone is excited for everyone else to lose weight! BTW you have a beautiful family

CudyBug

Yep i find myself walking on eggshells with this person and sometimes like today i hit 30 lbs gone and was just so excited and telling everyone.

And thanks bunches on the compliment. Atleast I can talk to my husband. He is excited for me as well even if he insists on going to get icecream every weekend lol

GuamMom

Remember you are losing weight for you; women can be very jealous creatures. Tell the people who care, and let the others just see for themselves because you look fab!

kelika71

Congrats on the loss!! It does suck that you can't celebrate with some people. This totally sounds like my sister, minus the pregnancy. I got so tired of walking on eggshells that I've just blocked her. I know, that's ridiculous, but she expects me to listen to her ailments and victories, I expect it to be a two-way street.
I'm not telling you to ignore this person. Sometimes, we have to distance ourselves from someone negative, though. I know if I didn't, I'd turn to emotional eating. I've made up my mind I'm not letting anyone derail my efforts. If they don't like it, it's their problem and I won't deal with them anymore.
Glad your husband is supportive...except the ice cream. haha Mine's like that, too. He's there cheering me on and I've realized that he's the one that matters. Hang in there and keep your chin up.

tiffanygil

I get this a lot too. Especially now that I have lost all the weight. People don't think I have the right to talk about weight issues cause "your not fat anymore". Especially mine. They say it offends people when I worry about the weight I might gain or when I say "I feel fat today." which by the way no matter what size you are you have those days. Dont worry about it!!! Stay positive

KimbersNewLife

LOL!!! I totally thought maybe you had met my Mother In Law when I read the title LOL But seriously just keep doing what you are doing there are always going to be jealous people and it only gets worst. I have noticed something, the more weight I loose the meaner certain friends and family members get but I finally noticed that the madder they are the better because the more they b*&^% the better it means I am doing LOL Keep up the good work!!

candican

Honestly, not everyone is going to want to hear about how wonderful your life is going when they are feeling badly about their own life. It's not right, but it's reality. She might be feeling like you're rubbing it in just to make her feel worse about herself. And because she's feeling worse about herself, she's going to lash out on you. That's just how some people are. Also, generally, people don't take to unsolicited advice very well. If I were you, I would share your joy with people who actually care about it and not be bothered with people who don't. Sorry, she's not worth it.

oxFaithxo

are you talking about me.... ooh wait i am not pregnant... See not only do i have ur some in on the sabotage i have ur husband in on it too!

UR GOING DOWN SIS!

CudyBug

OOOO sister your going down, Just wait. Im gonna call shawn and tell him to make a nice fatty deep fried dinner for you heheheheh j/k

CudyBug

Yea Ive decided to not talk much to this person because its not my fault that she has mad bad choices in her life and wants to take it out on me because she is unhappy. She actually isn't talking to me now anyways since last night she was crying about how she has gained a 5 lbs in less then a week and I was asking wht she ate and was trying to give her some advice since she was talking about the advice the dr gave her. So I told her that from now on I wont talk to her healthy eating if she doesnt complain to me about her weight gain and we can leave it at that. I guess that ticked her off so she stoped talking to me. O WELL no biggy for me.

Atleast I have my sister to pick with (jokingly of course). OH and I will beat my sister in our challenge, you wait and see hehe

supermom1114

I completely understand. My family lives with my parents at the moment, in the process of getting our own house and my parents both say I'm depriving my son of life because I wont give him mcdonalds. And the constantly push my buttons and ask if my son wants some diet coke or cookies or candy. I know they give him junk when I'm not around and I understand they're his grandparents and want to spoil him but when we live at grandma and grandpa's house it can't be candyland all the time. does that make sense? lol AND they both are die-hard biggest loser fans and have watched every season and say how great it is that these people are changing their lives and losing weight but they dont do anything themselves. They're both overweight but not quite obese yet. I'm a senior in college studying nutrition and I cook every night and its healthy dinners but they always complain they're still hungry or it doesnt have enough fat. OMG! And I take the time to plan a menu for the week, cut coupons so I can save money and buy organic as much as possible and bring home only healthy food with maybe one "treat" item for the week and then the next day my dad will come home with a bag of chips and cookies and ice cream and 2 twelve packs of diet coke. Ugh its so frustrating I will be so glad when we get our own place, we've found the house we want and are just working on the details, X fingers crossed X

CudyBug

yep we get the same lecture from family because i dont give our kids juice or sodas or candy. We lived with my inlaws breifly and this was a battle as well. I stood my ground and no one ever is alone with my kids because I know that they will give them junk. I wont lie we do eat out but I never ever have given my kids soda. My inlaws were asking the kids all the time if they wanted cookies and candy and chocolate and koolaid(which will never be allowed) and they would laugh because i had ot be the bad guy and say no

Azadi

It's great that you're reaching your goals, and you absolutely shouldn't let anyone else's negativity get you down.

That said, you must understand that weight is a very sensitive topic, especially for women. We live in a society that sends mixed messages about food and weight and body shape, and not everyone can easily process this emotionally. Hearing someone else talking about weight at all can trigger very strong emotional responses in some people.

I'm speaking from experience... I have had to ask people to please not talk to me about weight, whether gain or loss, whether theirs or mine, because it can send me into a panic. I can't even weigh myself because seeing that number, no matter what it is, whether it indicates gain loss or maintenance, it triggers me very strongly. Think of it as a reaction to reminders of trauma. Sometimes people can't hear certain things at certain points in their lives because they're just too painful.

I totally get how frustrating it must be, especially since you feel as though she's causing her own problems with her bad decisions, and you are trying to help. But it seems to me that what this woman needs is compassion. She's clearly suffering and is not in a place where she's able to hear reason or advice.

Just try not to take it personally, and try to feel sympathy for her. And again, don't let it get you down... your success is your victory, and no one else can take that away from you.