Could You Live With...?

EDesq

Could you marry or live with someone who does not have the same or similar Health Goals (and how to achieve them) as you?

Before I changed My Lifestyle I knew I could not live with a "smoker", cigarettes or otherwise. Now that I have dramatically changed My Lifestyle and Health/Wellness I can not imagine living with someone who does not Value the same or similar goals. I can not contemplate even dating someone who is not a Vegan or Vegetarian. I know some people are in relationships and have made the transition to a Healthier lifestyle with a partner who has not followed but is not hindering them, and that maybe ok. But I just can't see coming home and preparing a giant salad, then some Quinoa and green beans, and My partner grilling a steak or salmon or chicken. Or waking up in the morning to the smell of fried eggs... I have worked very hard to where I am now and still walking the path; I actually feel that I Value My Health more than a Life Partner if it is not the right one. I recall a time in My Life where the decision would have been a difficult one, and I would have chosen against My best interest.

itsscottwilder

Not really big on compromise?

My wife is not as gung-ho for fitness as I am. She eats better and is more active than I am so why should she be?

She has good genes. Everyone in her family lives to be really old farts.

Me, not so much. My dad died at 64. His dad died at 62. Genetics not on my side.

So we have different motivations and different senses of "urgency"

When you talk about relationship and "deal breakers" probably best just to stay single. Relationships are studies in making accommodations for one another.

BrookieTrout626

I have to agree with the things that Scott said

EDesq

I understand the compromise part...But I beg to differ about what keeps people together. In the end it is about each person's Value System; if what you believe and live each day is more important than a compromise. The reality is that whomever I or you choose or have chosen, chances are they will Value similar things. Gotta say, those who already have someone are kinda forced into compromise; but I have read HORRA Stories on here about UN-Supportive Spouses and sabotage... spouses who have divided because they NOW Value different things. And it does not have to be about Health, but that is one of the best reasons to part company with anyone.

smantha32

I couldn't live with a smoker, but as far as eating, the other person can do whatever they want. As long as they don't eat up whatever specialty foods I buy for myself. lol

BonnieandClyde29

My husband and I are both smokers, I have never really been on for sweets, but if it is around I will want some usually. HE is 60lbs lighter than me and eats nothing but sweets NON-STOP! And also has amazing teeth, lol I envy him.

BUT it is all about compromise. I had enough of his sweets, when I was trying to go to sleep, I look over and see him just digging into a strawberry cream pie, like really? SO on that note he can still eat his sweets, I just asked him to please not keep that much in the house, or keep it at work, or simply just don't eat it in front of me!!! H e can eat whatever he wants but he is still SUPPORTIVE of me and my lifestyle change.

My husband and I are very different people, but sometimes as corny as it sounds opposites attract, he love hindi food, and I love southern food, it's what we gre up with and we may not love one or the other but we take turns on cooking.

COMPROMISE, COMPROMISE, COMPROMISE!!! - To be honest I had a similar mindset like you before I met my husband, but guess what everyone has flaws your not going to find a "checklist guy", because if you think you are you will stay single forever. It's one thing to have standards, but don't make life difficult for yourself, especially while dating. Enjoy it, tell them your views or lifestyle, and if you vibe awesome, if not, then on to the next one!

xthemtwx

I have found that my current relationship has been a huge contributor to my unhealthy lifestyle. That isn't to say that it is HIS fault, as at the end of the day I have the control over what I eat and how active I am. However, since being with him, I have gained 50lbs in the past year and a half. With him I find myself being a lot lazier than I ever was before, as he isn't motivated to do much of anything. Ever. On days off where I would love to go out and be active (play sports, batting cages, hike, etc.) he is perfectly content sitting and doing nothing (ie: playing video games and screwing around on his computer). There are reasons why I didn't just get up and go without him, but the longer this has gone on, the more I have realized that I am only hurting myself. It has been the same with food. His definition of cooking is Hamburger Helper. Most everything he makes is from a box and is loaded with calories. That or it is fast food near constantly. Again, I am the one who ultimately says what I eat, but when in a relationship where you live together, it can be harder to just do your own thing. Especially when they just put it in front of you. One day I decided I would use MFP and track his intake. I was shocked-- 4,500 calories.
I have realized that when it comes to health, I am on my own. He is not very supportive and tends to veer toward the apathetic side of everything. Even when he knows I am trying to watch my calories, he will still bring home the fast food (for two) and not add healthier options when he cooks (I do cook meals as well). I have found that it is better for me to just go do my own thing. Yes, it would be better and easier with him by my side going on walks, hikes, biking, etc.-- but if he isn't going to come along, I can't sacrifice my health because of it.
I suppose my point in this is -- it is important in a relationship to find someone with similar values (as has been stated by EDesq), especially where health in concerned. They don't need to start running marathons with you, or jump into some extreme diet, or whatever, but having their support if you are fighting the health/weight loss battle is extremely important. It is amazing how much easier everything is when those in your household are on the same page. Especially the person you are in a relationship with.

lilyyonng

I will not.

BonnieandClyde29

I have found that my current relationship has been a huge contributor to my unhealthy lifestyle. That isn't to say that it is HIS fault, as at the end of the day I have the control over what I eat and how active I am. However, since being with him, I have gained 50lbs in the past year and a half. With him I find myself being a lot lazier than I ever was before, as he isn't motivated to do much of anything. Ever. On days off where I would love to go out and be active (play sports, batting cages, hike, etc.) he is perfectly content sitting and doing nothing (ie: playing video games and screwing around on his computer). There are reasons why I didn't just get up and go without him, but the longer this has gone on, the more I have realized that I am only hurting myself. It has been the same with food. His definition of cooking is Hamburger Helper. Most everything he makes is from a box and is loaded with calories. That or it is fast food near constantly. Again, I am the one who ultimately says what I eat, but when in a relationship where you live together, it can be harder to just do your own thing. Especially when they just put it in front of you. One day I decided I would use MFP and track his intake. I was shocked-- 4,500 calories.
I have realized that when it comes to health, I am on my own. He is not very supportive and tends to veer toward the apathetic side of everything. Even when he knows I am trying to watch my calories, he will still bring home the fast food (for two) and not add healthier options when he cooks (I do cook meals as well). I have found that it is better for me to just go do my own thing. Yes, it would be better and easier with him by my side going on walks, hikes, biking, etc.-- but if he isn't going to come along, I can't sacrifice my health because of it.
I suppose my point in this is -- it is important in a relationship to find someone with similar values (as has been stated by EDesq), especially where health in concerned. They don't need to start running marathons with you, or jump into some extreme diet, or whatever, but having their support if you are fighting the health/weight loss battle is extremely important. It is amazing how much easier everything is when those in your household are on the same page. Especially the person you are in a relationship with.

YES! Support and compromise are everything!!! It's one thing if they have a different lifestyle then you, but it is a whole other issue if they don't support you, that's what you need to look for!!!