Struggling to accept where I am at

etherealanwar

I started my weight loss journey back in November of 2017 at a weight of 200 lbs standing at 5’4” with a goal of 120 lbs. I lost 50 lbs in the first year and then 18 lbs the next year. This year I have been still trying to lose weight but really struggling to keep to my deficit continuously. I have only really lost 2 lbs but keep fluctuating between 130-133..effectively maintaining for most of the time. It has been beyond frustrating because I am in the lose it mode and whenever I go over my deficit calories I always feel down. I am overall okay with my appearance but not fully happy. I would love to lose more weight around my midsection.


I started weightlifting a month prior to everything closing down due to Covid at the city rec center 4 mins away from my job during my lunch hour. This was working perfectly for me. But since everything shut down and we went to work from home I haven’t been going because it is a 45 minute drive from home...I wish I had not signed up for the yearly membership because now I cannot get myself to pay more for a gym near my home. I think I know the best route for me is to switch to maintenance and go into recomp to help shape my body. The thing is my mind keeps telling me this will take a very long time whereas losing these last 10 lbs might get my body to where I am happy with it.


I don’t know what I am asking.. just any thoughts or input? Especially if you’ve been in my shoes on your journey ...how did you overcome this mentality?

psychod787

etherealanwar wrote: »

I started my weight loss journey back in November of 2017 at a weight of 200 lbs standing at 5’4” with a goal of 120 lbs. I lost 50 lbs in the first year and then 18 lbs the next year. This year I have been still trying to lose weight but really struggling to keep to my deficit continuously. I have only really lost 2 lbs but keep fluctuating between 130-133..effectively maintaining for most of the time. It has been beyond frustrating because I am in the lose it mode and whenever I go over my deficit calories I always feel down. I am overall okay with my appearance but not fully happy. I would love to lose more weight around my midsection.


I started weightlifting a month prior to everything closing down due to Covid at the city rec center 4 mins away from my job during my lunch hour. This was working perfectly for me. But since everything shut down and we went to work from home I haven’t been going because it is a 45 minute drive from home...I wish I had not signed up for the yearly membership because now I cannot get myself to pay more for a gym near my home. I think I know the best route for me is to switch to maintenance and go into recomp to help shape my body. The thing is my mind keeps telling me this will take a very long time whereas losing these last 10 lbs might get my body to where I am happy with it.


I don’t know what I am asking.. just any thoughts or input? Especially if you’ve been in my shoes on your journey ...how did you overcome this mentality?

Happiness is a state of mind imho. I would never tell anyone to give up, but sometimes we need to be ok with what we are. I just dont think chasing an ideal image is always worth it. I have been in your shoes in a way. I hit my ideal and was miserable in the greatest extent of the word. I have had to regain lost weight to feel slightly normal. While my experience might not be yours, it is just my thoughts. Basically the ramblings of an old man. Best wishes ma'am.

TwistedSassette

I have not been in your shoes, I will admit. Mostly because I have never had as much success with losing weight as you have! What an awesome accomplishment for you - truly, you should be proud of how far you have come.

The one thing I wanted to say was to remember that the scale is just a number. Whether it reads 120 or 130 doesn't actually matter - what matters is your health indicators (blood pressure, A1C, etc.) and whether you are meeting your health & fitness goals.

I feel like when you're so close to the initial goal that you set, it's important to reassess whether that is the right goal for you. I know you really wanted to hit 120. But if you are working on building muscle, 120 might not be an achievable goal - which is perfectly fine as it's not a failure in any sense!! It just means your goal has changed. Instead of focusing on the scale (which is important at the beginning of your journey as it's the main indicator of everything else at that stage), you're now focused on fitness goals and aesthetics.

Given a change in focus, it might be a good time to also reset your calorie goals and focus more on macros - protein is important for building muscle. Our bodies take some time to adjust to massive changes like weight loss, it might be a good idea to figure out your maintenance level and eat at that level for a while, focusing on macros. See where that takes you in terms of body composition and see how you feel about your body, and then make adjustments if needed.

Don't forget to celebrate your wins along the way!!

richardgavel

Have you had your body fat checked? It's certainly possible that you could get to your goal and still not be satisfied. Have you been doing resistance training thorougout your loss? Focusing on body comp might end up resulting in better results than dropping a few more pounds.

etherealanwar

TwistedSassette wrote: »

I have not been in your shoes, I will admit. Mostly because I have never had as much success with losing weight as you have! What an awesome accomplishment for you - truly, you should be proud of how far you have come.

The one thing I wanted to say was to remember that the scale is just a number. Whether it reads 120 or 130 doesn't actually matter - what matters is your health indicators (blood pressure, A1C, etc.) and whether you are meeting your health & fitness goals.

I feel like when you're so close to the initial goal that you set, it's important to reassess whether that is the right goal for you. I know you really wanted to hit 120. But if you are working on building muscle, 120 might not be an achievable goal - which is perfectly fine as it's not a failure in any sense!! It just means your goal has changed. Instead of focusing on the scale (which is important at the beginning of your journey as it's the main indicator of everything else at that stage), you're now focused on fitness goals and aesthetics.

Given a change in focus, it might be a good time to also reset your calorie goals and focus more on macros - protein is important for building muscle. Our bodies take some time to adjust to massive changes like weight loss, it might be a good idea to figure out your maintenance level and eat at that level for a while, focusing on macros. See where that takes you in terms of body composition and see how you feel about your body, and then make adjustments if needed.

Don't forget to celebrate your wins along the way!!

Thank you for the kind words! I always try to remind myself that losing 70lbs is a great achievement but another side of my brain kicks in with why can I not lose the last 10 when I have already lost 70. It’s ridiculous I know!

I do realize I should prioritize lifting and building muscle. I have a decent idea of my maintenance calories and do need to work on getting enough protein. I will start doing this tomorrow and look into getting a monthly no commitment gym membership near my home.


It’s going to take a lot to get past my urge to lose more and be content with where I am at.

AnnPT77

etherealanwar wrote: »

I started my weight loss journey back in November of 2017 at a weight of 200 lbs standing at 5’4” with a goal of 120 lbs. I lost 50 lbs in the first year and then 18 lbs the next year. This year I have been still trying to lose weight but really struggling to keep to my deficit continuously. I have only really lost 2 lbs but keep fluctuating between 130-133..effectively maintaining for most of the time. It has been beyond frustrating because I am in the lose it mode and whenever I go over my deficit calories I always feel down. I am overall okay with my appearance but not fully happy. I would love to lose more weight around my midsection.


I started weightlifting a month prior to everything closing down due to Covid at the city rec center 4 mins away from my job during my lunch hour. This was working perfectly for me. But since everything shut down and we went to work from home I haven’t been going because it is a 45 minute drive from home...I wish I had not signed up for the yearly membership because now I cannot get myself to pay more for a gym near my home. I think I know the best route for me is to switch to maintenance and go into recomp to help shape my body. The thing is my mind keeps telling me this will take a very long time whereas losing these last 10 lbs might get my body to where I am happy with it.


I don’t know what I am asking.. just any thoughts or input? Especially if you’ve been in my shoes on your journey ...how did you overcome this mentality?

I think you should be very proud. Loss is hard enough, but maintaining a healthy weight long term - from both people's self-reports, and the statistics - is the more difficult part. You're doing it!

A couple of thoughts:

1. You say you know recomp would be your best route, but you're worried that it will take a long time.

Imagine, for a moment, what that time period might be. A few months, or even a year, to see some good progress?

Do you truly believe that if you could snap your fingers and instantly be 10 pounds lighter you would be so. much. happier. for those months, or that year, that it would make a huge difference in your life? I'm doubtful, personally.

I suspect you will want to have the improved body composition (even if you were lighter), and y'know, those months, or that year, are going to pass either way. Progress is good.

2. If I recall correctly, aren't you fairly young, still? (Keep in mind, I'm asking this from the perspective of freakin' age 64! ). If so, there may be an intermediate strategy available to you to try.

What if you were to plan for a tiny deficit, like maybe a pound a month loss, target really good nutrition (including, but not limited to, adquate protein), then do the good progressive strength training alongside? There will be some individual variability in there - genetics, how new you are to strength training, and that sort of thing - but there's a chance you could make some progress on both fronts. It would for sure be slow, but even a tiny deficit gets there: A pound a month is your 10 pounds in 10 months, if you can make it happen. That may be compatible with some body composition improvements.

(I say this having been on an ultra-slow loss course since roughly October of 2019. My Libra weight trend was peaking back then in the 138-139 range, and it's now bumbling around more in the 129-130 range, which I feel good about, . . . and getting there has been pretty darned painless. Much of the time, progress was invisible even *with* a weight trending app, in under 2-3 months chunks. Still, the results show up. I haven't been trying to recomp, just lose, but I don't think I've sacrificed any material muscle due to the loss, either.)

Just an alternative to consider.

Wishing you all the best!

MidlifeCrisisFitness

Look up TinaZ2018

Hanibanani2020

I’m currently where you are but about 20lbs heavier. A lot is going on in my life right now both with my health and outside stressors. The idea of losing my last 20lbs right now is just adding extra stress so I’m just focusing on fitness instead and eating close to maintenance as I don’t need extra pressure. Weightloss May or may not happen during this time but my mental health and my family is more important than a measly amount of weight at the moment. I’m enjoying my running more than ever and am only a week into my new decision. Sometimes we just have to sit back, stop adding stress and realise that some things need to be prioritised for us to be fully healthy not just in body but in mind.

Best of luck on your journey.

ElioraFR

I like how this thread went ‘cause it’s where I’m at, if I’ve been reading it right. I set out to lose ten pounds. I thought that would be ok because I steadily gained 5 during the lockdown. After a week I made the decision to maintain and began focusing more on fitness than loss. I’m also, after a few weeks in, sure I’m on the right road and feeling more comfortable stable and strong which is what I’m looking for these days.
All the best to you all on your goals.

gradchica27

130-133 at 5’4” is a healthy weight—congratulations! There is nothing wrong at all about maintaining for a while and assessing how to proceed. I stayed around that weight for a good year before dropping 3lbs, then maintained another year before trying to hit 125. I’m now bt 125-7 depending on TOM, water retention, etc.

Being without a gym really stinks at this point in weight loss bc it is when many people decide to recomp—focus on eating at maintenance or a slight deficit and lifting weights. Lifting changed my body and how comfortable I am in it far more than losing a few more pounds did. If there is any way you can start/continue lifting (maybe at home? Look at local resale groups for weights?) that might be a fruitful way to spend thI time of maintaining weight—focus on adding weight to exercise rather than dropping scale weight.

1BlueAurora

Don't know whether this will address your gym membership issue, but I called my gym and asked whether they could let me suspend my membership since I can't use it due to COVID. They said they've frozen everyone's membership and nobody needs to pay while they're shut down. Perhaps you can explain your situation (can't make the drive) and they'll accommodate you. I know at my gym, they will temporarily suspend your membership for other reasons, too, like if you're on a month-long vacation or you broke your ankle and need to heal. If they will do that, maybe you can afford going to a closer gym for awhile. Just a thought.