When a compliment doesn't mean to go bad

Behavior_Modification

Sometimes words can be taken the wrong way. I wanted to share my experience today to any one out there that has taken a compliment the wrong way and it maybe wasn't intended that way.

An acquaintance at work (who knows I've been trying to lose weight and who I see several times per week) says, "Diane, lookin' good. Wow, It looks like you're finally losing some weight." And a great big smile because I know she didn't mean any harm. But at first for a split second I really wanted to scream.

00Angela00

I'm pregnant and get all kinds of shocking comments about my weight. I would have been shocked too. Sorry to hear about your experience ... BUT congrats that you are doing well to where people are noticing! That's the most exciting part of weight loss!

kristinlough

I almost hate altogether when people notice ... because there's no escaping the honest truth that they noticed you had weight to lose before, right? But either way - congratulations on your huge loss so far!! We're proud of you :happy:

Holton

Glad you have the grace to accept your compliment as she meant it, but I do understand you wanting to scream! Why folks can't just keep it simple and say "you are looking great!" Congratulations on your weight loss and smile right back at them!

fitterpam

I get it..a few weeks ago I was told by two separate people in different situations that I was losing weight...I told both of them "Then my scale must be lying". Smiled and walked away. Of course the scale wasn't lying, but if they notice that I lost it, maybe they'll notice if it goes back on. I need to learn to smile and say thanks...LOL

❤B☩❤

Diane,
Take it from someone who sometimes only opens her mouth to switch feet.....Having been on the 'giving' end of such a compliment, I can guarantee that she would have been MORTIFIED if she knew how you took her (most likely) well-intended compliment, albeit half-a$$ed-sounding!

The fact that she noticed is a sure sign that you are doing something quite right! Consider the fact that you have lost 32 pounds! C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S! Well done!

SHBoss1673

I always try to take someone's meaning for what it is, no matter the words. That's why these forums are so difficult, you can't interpret meaning unless they give you a smiley or put something in (parenthesis).

To me, being upset when something notices a positive because it could imply a former negative is your own mind not allowing you to be happy with success!

When I was 55 lbs heavier, I was fat, and when I started to lose weight, and people started to comment, I thanked them, smiled, and recognized it for what it was, me becoming healthier. I'd say "thank you! It feels good to be less fat" and I'd smile at them warmly. They felt good because I recognized their comments for the meaning behind them, and I felt good because someone had recognized my accomplishments.

chanson104

People say the strangest things. A few years ago when I lost quite a bit of weight a woman at work said to me, "You've lost a lot of weight. Is your husband beating you?" I told her no, but I had an ex-husband who would probably like to.

Filtering what people say to you is a skill that I'm working on!

Congrats on the weight loss!

labreemike

after losing 50 lbs a coworker said good work your head was starting to look like a big water balloon. not helpful in any way.

Behavior_Modification

People say the strangest things. A few years ago when I lost quite a bit of weight a woman at work said to me, "You've lost a lot of weight. Is your husband beating you?" I told her no, but I had an ex-husband who would probably like to.

Filtering what people say to you is a skill that I'm working on!

Congrats on the weight loss!

OMG! Beating you? Seriously? What a weird thing for her to say. Of all reasons...not to mention insensitive. "You've lost a lot of weight. Do you have cancer?" I think it's right up there with something like that.

Thanks to everyone for the congrats! :flowerforyou: