Bad Day

Doresoontobehealthy · August 2020

Today I feel emotionally drained. Yesterday started with my 83 year old father falling trying to bring the groceries in from the porch. I wasn’t around and my mom has to call the EMT to get him up in the house. Next mom my is at the urgent clinic for a uti that isn’t clearing up. She’s running a fever. Only has one kidney so it’s especially scary. Later on when I come back to the house she vomits all over herself. After I leave my dad calls concerned her blood sugar is high and she can’t get it down. Around 10 a call is made to 911 and she’s in the hospital. Fortunately she’s home and ok. But I’m so drained emotionally all I want to do is binge. I have nobody to talk to. My one friend only makes me feel worse when I talk to her. Everything is about her. I’m working remote since March so I don’t even have my coworkers to talk to. I have so much cleaning to do and I haven’t been to the grocery store in 2 weeks but I can’t leave the house. Honestly I don’t know if I can go back to my parents today. I just want to lay on the couch and cry. I feel like a horrible person. I’m sure nobody will read this but I feel better now ☺️

MaltedTea · August 2020

We're reading and we care.

That sounds like a charged day. Your parents are blessed to have you. And for you to continue being there for them you'll need to continue taking care of yourself.

Sending you hugs across and prayers up!

PKM0515 · August 2020

So sorry you're going through this! 💕

Doresoontobehealthy · August 2020

SaraKim17 wrote: »

So sorry you're going through this! 💕

thanks happy to be seen

Doresoontobehealthy · August 2020

MaltedTea wrote: »

We're reading and we care.

That sounds like a charged day. Your parents are blessed to have you. And for you to continue being there for them you'll need to continue taking care of yourself.

Sending you hugs across and prayers up!

Thank you that means a lot 🥰

Jackiefrost1013 · August 2020

So sorry you have to go through such an exhausting time. Not sure where you live but can you take advantage of an online shopping store? I’m in Ky and we have 𝐊𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫 which has click list. You can go online select what you need, a worker will gather your groceries, you pick a time to pick them up, and they bring them out to you. Maybe even have someone come clean your house for you. You seem so overwhelmed and like you need a break and a good bubble bath and a good glass of wine! I hope things get better for you dear💜💜. And yes we are listening 🥰

springlering62 · August 2020

Hairy past few days here, too, but at least I have a husband to take it out on, I mean talk to. Poor guy.

I sincerely hope you have someone you can let go to, if not, post here. You’ve got friends.

I’ve been sucking down “security lattes” since 5 am, since finding an overnight text from a caregiver.

I’ve been on this merry go round for so long, I’m (almost) past the futile exercise - and it is futile- of stuffing my face in frustration. You just go numb after while.

So so sorry you are feeling this way. I hope yours both improve and you get some breathing room. There’s no shame in taking the phone off the hook (or the modern equivalent) and putting your head down for a couple of hours.

Bex953172 · August 2020

If I had the same day as you, I would have cried and binged. God I think id NEED to! And if you did, there would be zero judgement here!

It is totally okay to feel completely overwhelmed by a day like that!
Don't feel bad if you decide not to go back there today, to me it sounds like you need the rest!
Its not wrong to look after yourself aswell!

You might feel better if you get your own stuff sorted first, get out the house for some fresh air, get some groceries, clean up the house. (Oh wait, you said you cant go out? Is that because of covid?)

Clear space and clear mind and all that!

I'm so sorry it was a rubbish day though!
Hope you're feeling better now x

Doresoontobehealthy · August 2020

Jackiefrost1013 wrote: »

So sorry you have to go through such an exhausting time. Not sure where you live but can you take advantage of an online shopping store? I’m in Ky and we have 𝐊𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫 which has click list. You can go online select what you need, a worker will gather your groceries, you pick a time to pick them up, and they bring them out to you. Maybe even have someone come clean your house for you. You seem so overwhelmed and like you need a break and a good bubble bath and a good glass of wine! I hope things get better for you dear💜💜. And yes we are listening 🥰

I live in Kentucky too. Where are you? I’m in Florence. I was going to do clicklist but there weren’t any openings at my store. I’ll probably run over in a little bit

springlering62 · August 2020

BTW you are not a horrible person. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

I suspect you have a family of guilt purveyors. Do not let any one else make you feel that you are horrible. If they do, they’ve crossed a boundary, and that belief is one them. I know it hurts.

If you’re the one putting it on yourself, only you can relieve yourself of that burden. Lord knows it’s hard, but a “horrible person” wouldn’t feel so concerned. You have do not have the gift to relieve age or suffering. So give yourself some grace.

AliNouveau · August 2020

Totally been there 4 years ago. It's tough when we become the caretakers of our parents....well when the roles reverse basically.

Can you get some help for your parents? So that helper can maybe take some pressure off of you?

This too shall pass. It doesn't feel like it I'm sure but it will. Just keep breathing and treading water. You'll get there

Jackiefrost1013 · August 2020

I’m in Louisville! Small world. I’m definitely sending you a FR. I hope your day has got a little better!

AnnPT77 · August 2020

I don't say this to invalidate your feelings, but you are very evidently and extremely *not* a horrible person.

I'm now past that caregiving phase (parents, spouse deceased; no kids), but I can empathize with that feeling. Sometimes what is needed by those we care for seems like so much, that there's no way to deliver in the profound ways that we'd really like to. It isn't humanly possible, but we still want to be able to do it, because we love them (despite any frustrations and complications they may bring us).

You are doing wonderfully. You're doing everything a human could do. I feel certain you will do the things that truly need to be done.

But it's OK to lay on the couch and cry, for a bit, if that seems like a good vent. Not permanently, obviously. I hope you'll be able, or have been able, to find some outlet that works for you, short of eating food you don't *really* want. (I understand the impulse.) But if that happens at some point, it's OK. Just get back on track when you can. There are only so many balls we can juggle at once, and anything that drops can just be picked up as soon as we can grab it. In the long term, in the big picture, it'll be fine.

Wishing you some calmer waters ahead. ((hugs))

Womona · August 2020

When it rains, it pours sometimes with starting to care for elderly parents. You got the double whammy today. Anyone who has ever had to care for parents has been there, trust me! I know I have. Not only the physical act of caring, but the emotions involved with seeing your parents not as strong and independent as they used to be. The role reversal is tough to watch and be part of. Same thing for them!!!!!!

Totally normal to feel overwhelmed and need some kind of comfort. You’re not a bad person for having some burnout. Hopefully a good night sleep and maybe a small tidying session before you leave for the day will help. Best of luck to you and your family!

PKM0515 · August 2020

@Doresoontobehealthy, how did the rest of yesterday go, and how are you doing today?

Bad Day

Replies

Categories