Tell me something funny...

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  • Reckoner69_lmao
    Reckoner69_lmao Posts: 1,000 Member
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    Motorsheen wrote: »
    sweet_ermengarde wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    sweet_ermengarde wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    a duck walks into a bar.

    he asks the bartender for a double shot of whiskey.

    he tells the bartender "put it on my bill".

    the bartender says nothing, staring in shock at the talking duck.

    the duck says "i said, 'put it on my bill'". he looks up at the bartender and grins.

    the bartender, suddenly realizing he is in a bizarre dream of talking ducks who grin without lips, wakes up.

    he rolls over to gently shake his wife awake, to tell her about the strange dream.

    she wakes silently, but angry over their earlier argument at dinner, pretends to remain asleep.

    the bartender rolls back over and softly cries himself to sleep because of his failing marriage.

    two rabbits on a road during the stalinist terror of 1937

    first rabbit: “where are you going in such a hurry?”

    second rabbit: “havent you heard? theres a rumour going round that all camels are to be castrated.”

    first rabbit: “but you’re not a camel.”

    second rabbit: “after they catch you and castrate you, try proving you’re not a camel.”

    The world needs more 'stalinist terror of 1937' jokes, we damn sure do.



    .

    in russia, the joke laughs at you

    Or Else.

    gulag1.jpg

    I spent some time earlier today making a playlist featuring Russian singers. It looked...nothing like this.

    Now I'm shook
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    Reckoner69_lmao wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    sweet_ermengarde wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    sweet_ermengarde wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    a duck walks into a bar.

    he asks the bartender for a double shot of whiskey.

    he tells the bartender "put it on my bill".

    the bartender says nothing, staring in shock at the talking duck.

    the duck says "i said, 'put it on my bill'". he looks up at the bartender and grins.

    the bartender, suddenly realizing he is in a bizarre dream of talking ducks who grin without lips, wakes up.

    he rolls over to gently shake his wife awake, to tell her about the strange dream.

    she wakes silently, but angry over their earlier argument at dinner, pretends to remain asleep.

    the bartender rolls back over and softly cries himself to sleep because of his failing marriage.

    two rabbits on a road during the stalinist terror of 1937

    first rabbit: “where are you going in such a hurry?”

    second rabbit: “havent you heard? theres a rumour going round that all camels are to be castrated.”

    first rabbit: “but you’re not a camel.”

    second rabbit: “after they catch you and castrate you, try proving you’re not a camel.”

    The world needs more 'stalinist terror of 1937' jokes, we damn sure do.



    .

    in russia, the joke laughs at you

    Or Else.

    gulag1.jpg

    I spent some time earlier today making a playlist featuring Russian singers. It looked...nothing like this.

    Now I'm shook

    Feel free to use this image as cover art for your playlist

    it's my gift to you..... comrade.
  • horbalg
    horbalg Posts: 1 Member
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    iMago wrote: »
    a duck walks into a bar.

    he asks the bartender for a double shot of whiskey.

    he tells the bartender "put it on my bill".

    the bartender says nothing, staring in shock at the talking duck.

    the duck says "i said, 'put it on my bill'". he looks up at the bartender and grins.

    the bartender, suddenly realizing he is in a bizarre dream of talking ducks who grin without lips, wakes up.

    he rolls over to gently shake his wife awake, to tell her about the strange dream.

    she wakes silently, but angry over their earlier argument at dinner, pretends to remain asleep.

    the bartender rolls back over and softly cries himself to sleep because of his failing marriage.

  • Reckoner69_lmao
    Reckoner69_lmao Posts: 1,000 Member
    Options
    Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?

    He didn't have the guts

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