Do you wish: your significant other worked out!?

jbboom23

how do you feel about your significant other working out or do you wish they did? Alot of times I see ppl who workout and their partner doesn't. Are you OK with that or do you wish that could change? Are you more attracted to someone who works out or does it not matter?

HeidiCooksSupper

I love my hubby. I also respect my hubby. We don't criticize each other when one is doing more healthy things than the other. We are more likely to express a loving worry about each other on occasion. I can no more control his behaviors than he can control mine. He's happy for me when I am succeeding at exercising and losing weight. I try to be happy for him when he does so but I'm more selfish and competitive so it's hard -- but that's my problem to deal with. I should be happy for him.

So, I guess the real question is how much do you love and respect your significant other irrespective of their physical form? Would you love them as much if they weighed 100 pounds more than you do? Would you still love them if, as my hubby has, they had a stroke that made them disabled?

Now, if you are "just dating" and you and your significant other have vastly different attitudes toward things like exercise -- for you it's a favorite hobby and your s.o. is an inveterate foodie for whom eating is their hobby, you may just not be made for each other. Consider if one of you loved hiking and the other hated it and saw no reason to recreate outdoors. You might not be made for each other. Then again, you may. But most importantly, you love them and respect their opinion as working for them.

Hubby and I have the same attitudes toward morality, politics, religion, etc. I'm not sure I could respect someone on the wholly opposite spectrum politically so they probably wouldn't work as my S.O. even if he were an Adonis who worshipped the ground I walked on. I'll keep my pudgy hubby, thank you.

StargazerB

My husband can do his own thing. He will road cycle a few times a week and we enjoy hiking together. He doesn't really lift weights, at least not consistently. But that's my passion not his. I care about him being healthy and will support however he chooses to do that.

SnifterPug

My husband is obese. He exercises and is trying to lose weight currently, but he will never be slim. Never has been in all the time I have known him. I would rather he did not weigh so much. On a purely physical level I am attracted to tall, strong men. Both of which he is. I'm sure we all have a fantasy person but if that fantasy person turned up and told me I could not exercise it would be a way bigger problem than if fantasy person did or didn't exercise.

sardelsa

I do like if my SO is somewhat active, a bit of lifting is good. I would not particularly find it attractive it if they were more into lifting than I am or were competing in bodybuilding. While I do admire that and would be supportive, that is not my personal type.

sianlr87

My SO is pretty active, obviously this was harder through lockdown and we both put on weight. I'm not bothered about whether he works out or not, but he likes to be outdoors and so do I. I am more concerned that he is healthy long term. He has never really thought about calories, so is enjoying learning about the different amounts. He fully supports me, which I guess is the important thing. I do think it would be difficult if you were both on very different pages lifestyle wise.

lorimiller18

I'd prefer if my hubby worked out. And i don't mean body building and competition etc. But we're in our mid 40's- 45. Being physically fit will only help with the aging process. I love my husband he's my best friend, last year we became empty nesters, and now its our time. I'd like to be healthy,
strong, fit going into the next phase of our lives. I'm hoping I lead by example.

fstrickl

I would like my SO to be more active, not because I think it would make him more physically attractive, but because of the other benefits working out has. He is doing nothing now, and I know even something small would help his mental health (and obviously physical health). I’m concerned for him, but it’s hard to bring it up without being a nag or him thinking I’m body shaming him. I don’t care what kind of activity he does, or that we do it together, just that he increases his heart rate a few times a week. I also find it attractive when people put a little effort into their physique - it’s aspirational and shows motivation, so if he worked out he may benefit from that too... 😏

I’ve been working out every week day morning since May, and he’s supportive in that at 6AM he doesn’t try and stop me from getting up. I thought my new habit might inspire him to try something, but I think he just enjoys the extra lay-in time. *Le sigh*. This has obviously struck a chord with me...

NovusDies

Sharing a long life with someone doesn't mean sharing every minute and every activity with them. I want my wife to be as healthy as is reasonable and the way she pursues that will not be the same as the way I do.

I like my early morning solitude. If she wanted to be up as early as I am (she does not) I would have to find other time that would likely be less convenient or get up even earlier.

Dogmom1978

My husband used to work out. He was super in shape, six pack abs and all. However, he was super annoying with his dietary needs. And he spent a ton of time in the gym.

Now that I am trying to get in shape, I do wish he would go back to those 6 pack abs again. I don’t think I would find his diet annoying now that I am trying to be in better shape.

claireychn074

For me it’s actually whether my SO can cope with my exercise. It’s a huge part of my life and eats a reasonable amount of my spare time so he has to be okay with that. But then again I’m an absolute nightmare if I can’t get my endorphin high! Because I like to be active i would struggle to be with someone who was a coach potato, but probably not as much as they’d struggle to cope with me obsessing over weightlifting technique.

quiksylver296

We both hit the gym regularly, but not together.

4legsRbetterthan2

Mine runs a few days a week for health purposes, he falls off the wagon occasionally but generally keeps up with it. He is a busy body at home, always working on projects around the house or property, so while its not strictly working out he isn't a very sedentary kind of guy. I don't know that I would enjoy being with a very sedentary partner, I appreciate that we can randomly go for a hike or something and both be comfortable. He isn't all 6 pack abs and muscle or anything, but that's never really been my type so I don't care.

Chieflrg

Recently single. We were together 7 years. Although she appeared fit she basically just worked hard(which isn't wrong) She learned of the benefits over time and decided to quit smoking, lift, and cardio with me because she wanted to improve.

There are far too many benefits of resistance training and cardio.

That being said I could never see myself with someone who didn't want to live a longer happier life with me. Also I find females extremely attractilive that take care of themselves in general.

So, yes anybody I'm with will be interested in being active in a positive manner.

zebasschick

my husband is fit - at 6' 7", he weighs 180. he goes through periods of lifting heavy, and then goes up to around 200. and while i do remind him to ride the exercise bike more, that's because it helps him to control his cholesterol. i want him to be around and feeling good for as long as possible.

that being said, when he met me, i was a strong, muscular 135 at 5' 3", but he married me at my heaviest weight ever at 242. he still loves me now as i'm getting back down toward 160, and he's willing to listen to me obsess about new workout gear and my latest workout - what a guy!

briscogun

Nope. Has nothing to do with me and my goals. As long as she's happy and healthy then I'm happy for her! We take walks and ride our bikes together which is super fun.

Diatonic12

I thought everyone was single on MFP.

steveko89

My wife and I have always said that staying in shape would be important to us both and we'd keep each other accountable. This mainly comes into play when it comes to groceries and meal planning. Regardless of who does the shopping we do pretty well keeping too much junk food out of the house. One of the biggest areas where we differ is in our styles for controlling what we eat; I'm a meticulous logger and she hates tracking her food with a fiery passion. We make it work through balance though. We basically only eat the same thing for dinners where we'll decide what to have, I'll weigh ingredients before and after as needed without it interfering with the meat at large.

I do wish she would lift more. It would make her a stronger runner, improve her overall strength, and help with the aches and pains she sometimes complains about, which are mostly associated with lifting and holding our toddler. I think it would also help her achieve the physique she ultimately wants. Access isn't an issue as I've amassed a fairly well-equipped home gym. I could definitely do worse though, we both enjoy exercise and being good examples for our son.

Duck_Puddle

I want to share my life with someone who enjoys the things I enjoy. I want my SO to be able to regularly go for a hike/bike ride/adventure without it being a problem.

I also want my SO to respect that my training is important to me - and as a long distance runner training for long endurance events-some of that training is very time consuming and will take priority over other things.

Whether my SO has a specific workout plan; a gym membership and/or runs/bikes/lifts for PR’s isn’t important to me. A general level of health and ability to function in the world is very important.

kshama2001

I've been with super-hot guys. I've learned that what I value more is a great intellect. Would it be nice to have both? Sure, but at this point in my life, as long as he's healthy, I'm happy.

dawnkirkwood18

Doesn’t matter one way or the other to me as long as he doesn’t expect to work out with me 🤣🤣. All jokes aside we tried that for awhile and it didn’t work for me. I need significant cardio time and strength time for my goals and sanity- he does no cardio so he was always waiting for me to finish, etc. Gym time is my time for me and I don’t want to worry about anyone else’s needs or wants during that time. He has a chronic injury and is currently off the bandwagon and that is fine as well. He supports me in my choices as I support his.

Courtscan2

I wish my other half DIDN'T work out as much, he is a machine. His dedication makes me feel like a lazy lump sometimes. I'm pretty active, but balance is good, and some days I do just want to sit on my bottom and stare at the wall, whereas he is incapable of doing that and doesn't understand my need to do nothing sometimes.

Grace_spaceship

My partner and I both workout and are generally active people. We rarely workout together. We might show up to the gym together but we go do our own thing. We do a lot of hiking and walking together and other activities. I could not be with someone who wasn't interested in hiking or other activities. It's not about looks, it's about doing something we enjoy together.

ReenieHJ

I'd just like him to quit smoking, eat a little healthier and go walking with me. I don't give a darn about Mr. Adonis but when he comes in smelling like cigarettes and sits down with his bag of Cheetos, I tend to shrink away.
And the challenging part is he doesn't want to change. I feel, in most cases, a person can change if they put their mind to it and give it their all. But he doesn't care. Before he moved back in(we were separated for 12 years) we discussed his smoking. I told him I'd just like for him to be around for me and our kids. He said he appreciated my concern but wasn't going to change. Ok then.
Seriously, I feel he's a heart attack just waiting to happen and it scares me.

NovusDies

lemongirlbc wrote: »

I wish my other half DIDN'T work out as much, he is a machine. His dedication makes me feel like a lazy lump sometimes. I'm pretty active, but balance is good, and some days I do just want to sit on my bottom and stare at the wall, whereas he is incapable of doing that and doesn't understand my need to do nothing sometimes.

This is another reason I like getting up early. Life balance is very important to me now. I do not want to be out exercising during the time we normally spend together and, yes, that includes some sedentary activity.

You have to tend the entire garden. There are sections for every area of your life. There is nothing wrong with have a section that is just for you but you should not spend so much time in that section that others are ignored.

MidlifeCrisisFitness

My wife has always been physically active and extremely attractive. Multiple large baby pregnancies had a cost she was willing to pay. However Ab work is no longer a possibility and legs ache from the veins. She does what she can. My love for her is not based on her outward appearance. However her self image has taken a blow and it has been challenge for her to watch my transition.

springlering62

I adore my husband of 34 years, regardless of size or shape. I often marvel how lucky I was to find him, that he’s put up with me, and with my toxic, toxic extended family, and been my rock when they’ve pulled their latest greatest “you did what?” antic that they (or me, I suppose) feel it’s my obligation to solve.

He started with a child. Someday I hope he gets the mature woman he deserves. As long as it’s still me!!!!

That being said, I wish he’d take better care of himself so I can have him around forever. I am very grateful he’s taken up aquafit and is now cooperative when I suggest an evening walk. He also stays really active volunteering, and is engaged in several hobbies, which is great.

I am such a lucky lady!

Dogmom1978

dawnkirkwood18 wrote: »

Doesn’t matter one way or the other to me as long as he doesn’t expect to work out with me 🤣🤣. All jokes aside we tried that for awhile and it didn’t work for me. I need significant cardio time and strength time for my goals and sanity- he does no cardio so he was always waiting for me to finish, etc. Gym time is my time for me and I don’t want to worry about anyone else’s needs or wants during that time. He has a chronic injury and is currently off the bandwagon and that is fine as well. He supports me in my choices as I support his.

I had this problem back when my husband used to work out. We belonged to a commercial gym and I would spend time doing extra cardio just so I wasn’t sitting doing nothing while I waited for him to finish. His weight workouts were about 2-2.5 hrs long...

I do weights in about 45 and then the remained cardio. I did A LOT of cardio when we went to the gym together lol

ahoy_m8

It's great for him to be healthy and feel good. But I can do without the mansplaining. So we rarely do it together.

Isca_1

I lift heavy weights @ the gym. I have asked my husband to come with and he said that he knows how much I enjoy it, that is my free time and he doesn't want to interfere with that. I am ok with that

Ddsb11

jbboom23 wrote: »

how do you feel about your significant other working out or do you wish they did? Alot of times I see ppl who workout and their partner doesn't. Are you OK with that or do you wish that could change? Are you more attracted to someone who works out or does it not matter?

My husband can be fit/healthy without working out. Working out is not for everyone. He should do what he enjoys doing for his health. Not something I or social media tells him to do because it’s my hobby or it’s popular. If he prefers to eat his TDEE and read on his spare time why would this bother me?