Angry with myself

elphie754

I am so angry at my right now because I reverted back to old habits and gained 30+ lbs. I promised myself I would never go over 300 but now I’m 310 and really annoyed. I need to get back on tract immediately.

tinkerbellang83

I've been in much the same boat the last 18 months.

It's been a very weird year for the whole world so far, so I think we have to give ourselves a little bit of leeway for how we have coped with it.

Like me you've been here a few years and you know what you need to do, we just need to start doing it consistently. I am now 10lbs above my highest previous weight, so have gained about 40lbs in the last 18 months. I've committed to aiming for just 0.5lbs per week for now and increasing my NEAT because my life doesn't have room for the exercise routines and the meal planning I've done in the past.

Start small - maybe just logging your food for a few days to get back into the swing of things and most importantly be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for the bad habits and strive to make better ones.

I don't know if you're already a member of the Larger Losers group but there's a lot of great support in there and some very active threads for daily goals, rants etc.

ReenieHJ

In the past I never had the patience for the mindset of one change at a time or start off slow or anything like that. People would tell me to aim for that 1/2 lb. loss a week and I'd mentally look ahead at it taking a year or 2, to get where I wanted to be. I never had the patience so I'd fall for those fancy fads that promise 10 lbs loss the first week, or whatever was magic of the moment. Here I am, 45+ years later, still struggling BUT after finding MFP have been floating at a low BMI for over a year now. So, because I didn't want to wait a year for my weight loss, I took 45+ years....
All that just to say, stick with MFP and you WILL get there. I got angry at myself many times over, frustrated, depressed, scared, all those negative emotions. It did me no good. Feel confident that THIS will be what it takes you to get there. Plug your numbers into MFP and follow them as closely as you can. In the beginning you may lose more because you have more to lose. But keep at it when that loss goes down and you're still losing 1/2-1 lb. a week. Stay true to weighing your foods and entering every single thing you eat. That little spoonful of peanut butter might be an extra 100 calories and does that ever mount up fast.
Keep positive, think healthy, maybe find a good support person in your life, search out healthy foods you love so it doesn't become a boring old "diet", make a positive change every day, keep moving more even if it's a 5 minute walk around your block or yard.

You CAN and WILL do this. THE biggest challenge for me was(and still can be at times) keeping my head in the game. The 'after Christmas blues and Covid and my sister's dh's Alzheimers getting really bad' all came at the same time for me. It spun me around for about 2 months and I regained 25 lbs. Talk about panic. But I refound MFP, had some soul-searching talks with myself, and got back to it.

Good luck with your journey and stick around!! MFP might not be for everybody but it's been my magic bullet.

tnh2o

I like the comment about keeping your head in the game. What would you say to your best friend if they were in your situation? Assuming you are a nice person (I'm sure you are😊) it would be something kind and encouraging. So be kind and encouraging to yourself. If you read through comments sections you'll see you are far from alone.

quiksylver296

Welcome back! It's good to see you!

Spam2000times

Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s great that you recognized this and are getting back on track again.

zamphir66

ReenieHJ wrote: »

So, because I didn't want to wait a year for my weight loss, I took 45+ years....

True Words!

janejellyroll

Welcome back. There aren't very many of us who haven't had episodes of returning to old habits. You've recognized what's happening and are ready to get back on track and that's not an insignificant thing.

zebasschick

i'm sorry you're angry with yourself. be gentle to yourself, please - take it easy and gradually work back on track.

HeidiCooksSupper

Don't waste time being angry with yourself. Use this time to work on figuring out why it happened. Maybe you came up with an eating pattern while losing that was too dramatic. It's very hard to change our ingrained habits that result in weighing too much. You went back to old habits for some reason. Most of us can do that at the drop of a hat. Working to change our habitual way of eating is hard work. You worked at it once, you can do it again.

I've been where you are for many years and have belonged to MFP since 2013. Most of the time, I've been an absent member. It's okay if you come and go as far as we all are concerned, the only one for whom this is truly important is you. So work on you as a positive project that has many ups and downs.

Oftentimes, anger is counter productive. It prevents us from doing things that are good for us just to be ornery. "I'll show you, world that wants me to eat less! I'll eat this whole chocolate cake and that'll show you!" Of course, the world doesn't care and all we've done is shoot ourselves in the foot. Forgive yourself for this. It's who you've been (past tense). It doesn't have to be who you will be. It's up to you.

I'm still working on me at a few months shy of 70 y.o. I know I'm more grounded now than I was a year ago. Being mad at myself for my continued shortcomings doesn't help me or the people around me. I just am continuing to work at being a better version of me.

Try that. And come back to logging on MFP even if you just start logging without trying to change how much you eat. Then slowly work on losing that extra 150 lbs. with the rest of us.

ahoy_m8

Elphie! I've missed your posts! Glad to see you but sorry you're having a difficult time. One day at a time. You know what to do. Hang in there.

ETA: :flowerforyou:

astroamy

I understand completely. In 2016-2017 I lost 90 lbs in about 2 years going from 245 to 155. I looked great and felt great and swore I would not gain it back. Well here I am 2.5 years later when I recommitted to mfp at 233 lbs. so I gained back 80 lbs. However beating myself up is not going to help. The thing is I know I can lose the weight, I did it before, so I am not so worried about that. I know others might have a different perspective, but for me the WL isn't so hard it was keeping it off that was hard. So I realize I need a better plan for maintenance, there were "reasons" I gained so much back (knee problems that made it impossible to jog so exercise just got less efficient, my father having 3 strokes and becoming disabled which led to depression and a lot of time spent with him in a rehab facility, half moving to a larger city about 1.5 hours away so that son could go to a school that was better for him...), but in the 2 years it took to lose the 90 lbs I also had very stressful things I had to deal with, so there is just something different in my mindset for maintenance mode than WL mode.

Some things that worked for me for my 90lb weight loss:
1) Reward yourself for sticking to it rather than for weight loss. Weight loss is a reward unto itself, you are going to need a reward for sticking with the plan even when you are on a 3 week plateau.
2) Do what works for you. There will always be people telling you, you are doing it wrong.
3) I pre-log, although I am flexible and change things during the day.
4) A loss is a loss and it isn't a race.
5) MFP overestimates the calories burned when exercising by a huge amount. Doesn't matter if you don't eat your exercise calories, but be very careful if you do.
6) I try to overestimate my food intake and underestimate my exercise, just because I think our impulses are do do the opposite.
8) IF YOU FALL OFF THE WAGON, GET RIGHT BACK ON...and then don't worry about it, don't beat yourself up. As long as you only do this occasionally it might delay you reaching your weight loss goal by a few days or weeks or even months, but who are you racing exactly?
9) Avoid temptation. "Willpower is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets" is b****kitten*. So many studies have shown that the more often you have to resist temptation in a day the more likely you are to give in to temptation later. Its best just not to have junk food in your house, if it is in your house make sure it is out of sight.

Take it for what it is worth since I gained 80 lbs back. But these are the things I am trying to live by right now. It's worked for 24 days or so and I hope it will get me through the couple years of losing the weight again. Right now my NS goal is to stick with mfp, meet my calorie goal, exercised most days for 60 days and then I get a reward no matter what my weight is.

chocolate_owl

Elphie! Last time I was on here we were talking about diet soda flavors. Now I'm here because I've put on 40 lbs (more than I *lost* the first time around) because my back went to *fluffywhitedog* and I just gave up. So... I feel the anger and disappointment. But we're all here, we can get through this together.

kshama2001

Welcome back!

25TaraC

I've never posted before but I decided that it would be good for me to try some community support. I have lost 89 lbs since last june. When covid started I was almost at my goal weight and decided to just try and maintain instead of losing because quarantine and stress and needing a drink:), problem is that a drink at night leads to a handful of chips and it's a slippery slope. I have gained back 12lbs I have exercised and logged food the whole time but a bad weekend or few days here and there does so much damage, I can gain weight back so fast! know it would be s much higher gain if I had not been exercising this whole time. Well, I'm back at it(diet) hardcore now because I refuse to gain it back again because I have done that twice before. like many of you, I am also good at losing but have a hard time maintaining and keeping it off. I'm almost 48 so I'm not going to do that again. I have total compassion for everyone who has gained back, I've been there and I'm headed that direction if I don't correct now. I decided that maybe sharing and listening to others will be the support I need to get back on track. Thanks for sharing your own struggles, I really to learn and find motivation reading the wins and losses and knowing it's a constant journey.

ChickenKillerPuppy

You are not alone - almost all of us have been there. I remember crying on my bed after I had gained back the 40 pounds I had lost to get to goal (and maintained for years) saying "I was living the dream and I ruined it" and my poor dog looking at me like I'm crazy. Dramatics aside, I completely understand the urge to beat yourself up. However, I hope you can put that aside to move forward. It's OK to feel mad at yourself, but it's a useless emotion moving forward. Time to get back into the habits that will make you successful. I'm back at goal and maintaining and I have no doubt you will be too. You can't turn back time, you can only move forward. You can do this - come here often. I know I do!

work2020again

You can do this! We're here to get through it to and with you. Habits are hard to make, keep, and break, but you have the strength to do it!