Something's Gotta Give...Fit by 50
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IamMuffles
Posts: 6 Member
I have never joined a forum dedicated to weight loss before, but I am determined to achieve what I have never been able to before...because this time, it feels alot like life or death.
In about a week I am going to turn 49 years old. Just like that, almost halfway through this journey called life. Ya right, who am I kidding? I will be lucky to see 50, some days quite honestly I feel like I might not even make it to 49.
I have lived a life of killing myself. It started with old world European grandparents living in the same farmyard when I was a child, who didn't believe in leaving food on your plate - and while you're at it, finish off these leftover mashed potatoes so I don't have to put them in the fridge....then to suffer questioning about why I was so 'chubby' from those that were feeding me (ahem..over feeding me).
Living on a farm, the oldest of 2 girls, I worked like a boy - and had the figure to show for it. Always a little chunky, but heavier than most boys my age and stronger! I had muscle underneath the chub back then. But at my first opportunity I left the farm for the big city (the plethora of reasons for that are stories for another day!), and over the next few years got soft and rounder. Looking back now, I FELT huge back then, but what I wouldn't give to be that "fat" again!! Actually, that is right around my current goal weight.
Anyways, as it goes, three children later and I had gained alot of extra weight. I was never a priority, I worked full-time and had 3 small kids and a husband to take care of (he had serious mental health issues in addition to being a textbook narcissist and overall brute, again, more stories for another day, or not). I lived in a fog of every abuse imaginable for about 20 years - and as my will to live diminished my waistline stretched.
I am free of that life now - and I am thrilled to say my children are happy young adults and doing very well, all things considered. I am now looking in the mirror and wondering what the hell happened to me?? I do not recognize THAT woman!! I do NOT want to BE that woman!! And why does everything HURT so much?
I really DO want to LIVE - and ENJOY life as I never have before. It's time for ME now. So I am doing this with abandon, jumping in with both feet and taking advantage of every tool at my disposal. YOU guys out there are a wealth of support and ideas and I can't wait to meet all of you!
So, the stats, FYI - started at 255lbs on September 1 - weighed this morning at 249lbs!!
Wish me LUCK!!
In about a week I am going to turn 49 years old. Just like that, almost halfway through this journey called life. Ya right, who am I kidding? I will be lucky to see 50, some days quite honestly I feel like I might not even make it to 49.
I have lived a life of killing myself. It started with old world European grandparents living in the same farmyard when I was a child, who didn't believe in leaving food on your plate - and while you're at it, finish off these leftover mashed potatoes so I don't have to put them in the fridge....then to suffer questioning about why I was so 'chubby' from those that were feeding me (ahem..over feeding me).
Living on a farm, the oldest of 2 girls, I worked like a boy - and had the figure to show for it. Always a little chunky, but heavier than most boys my age and stronger! I had muscle underneath the chub back then. But at my first opportunity I left the farm for the big city (the plethora of reasons for that are stories for another day!), and over the next few years got soft and rounder. Looking back now, I FELT huge back then, but what I wouldn't give to be that "fat" again!! Actually, that is right around my current goal weight.
Anyways, as it goes, three children later and I had gained alot of extra weight. I was never a priority, I worked full-time and had 3 small kids and a husband to take care of (he had serious mental health issues in addition to being a textbook narcissist and overall brute, again, more stories for another day, or not). I lived in a fog of every abuse imaginable for about 20 years - and as my will to live diminished my waistline stretched.
I am free of that life now - and I am thrilled to say my children are happy young adults and doing very well, all things considered. I am now looking in the mirror and wondering what the hell happened to me?? I do not recognize THAT woman!! I do NOT want to BE that woman!! And why does everything HURT so much?
I really DO want to LIVE - and ENJOY life as I never have before. It's time for ME now. So I am doing this with abandon, jumping in with both feet and taking advantage of every tool at my disposal. YOU guys out there are a wealth of support and ideas and I can't wait to meet all of you!
So, the stats, FYI - started at 255lbs on September 1 - weighed this morning at 249lbs!!
Wish me LUCK!!
8
Replies
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I'm so glad you are finally at the point where you are able to take care of YOU! You deserve this. Sounds like you are determined to do this - can't wait to see how far you go!
1 -
I'm sorry you went through all those obstacles, but it's time to look ahead to all the good things that are yet to come. By making a decision of improving your health, you've taken the hardest step of all, the first one. I wish you all the best!
1 -
Hey there and welcome!!
I’m 48 so I understand the challenges as well. Feel free to send me a FR😊
Jennie1
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