I joined MFP over 10 years ago but I been here on and off over the years.
I haven't posted here in a while so I thought it was time to do so...As you sit there and read this... Not just for me but for you too It's been a never-ending journey and changing your life to be healthy and lose weight and all that stuff right? But it's also a lifelong change. I hope you don't get scared off and actually take the time to read this, that way you better understand not just me and my journey but understanding everything that you see online related to similar things you see out there if that makes sense. As well as think back on all your hard work and know and realize things and know that what you are doing is worth it.
I know I have had people tell me my story inspires and I been sharing it more and more these last few months, there are many people like you or may not be like you that need that inspiration, so please don't get scared, read away. I promise it will be worth the read I want to write this again on another website so I decided here on MFP to help those of you out there taking the time to read this... So this is my journey and after you read it, sit and think and reflect on your own journey, you will be surprised the little things and big things that stand out once you reflect...
Things started for me back in the years 1997-2000.2000
is when I graduated from high school. Through high school years being active doing track/sports/weightlifting and being made fun of for it, I was told I looked like a boy and girls shouldn't be lifting, girls were made to grow up and have babies and take care of babies. I grew up in a small town.
After graduation, I turned to food and just ate. I got into a dead-end relationship for 5 years in the late 90s early 00s, where the guy I was dating his depression didn't help me any, I thought I could help him. He told me one day if we were together in 5 years we would get married & have kids.
Well over the years things got worse.
When I would want to go to friends to hang out he would moan and cry and not want me to leave my friends dumped me soon after when this got really annoying. When I would go to work he would call me 15mins after I clocked in asking when I was coming home because he was hungry. The threats and abusive nature from him, I didn't know what else to do being so young, I had no one to turn too. So I would spend all my time eating and not going anywhere. My family didn't care so, I was alone with him...
Finally 5 years down the line he finally admitted he didn't want kids or get married, plus years during this dead-end of a relationship my esteem, confidence, and self-worth the little I did have, was now gone. But I finally got out of there in early 2004! Him showing up at my job and acting like a total nutcase making a big scene, I was at the end of my rope, I was done and had the courage to GTFO! Thanks to my friends who had come back into my life after abandoning me because I got into that relationship!
Well, in late 2004 I started talking to my soon to be husband online/phone as our friend that lived across the border from me introduced us while we were playing an online game called "City of Heroes". During this time I realized over the years I had got really fat. But my husband accepted me 100% for who I was, weight and all. I mean he did drive to Canada (14hrs) and popped the question from the midwest USA so, there was that!2005
we got married after talking online/phone for 6 months. I tried to start losing weight and bettering myself but I kept falling backward. Failing! I gave up.2007-2008
I had a doctor misdiagnosed me. Put me on metformin even though I wasn't diabetic, 2000mg a day. She also put me on an unlimited meat/eggs/cheese diet and I was only allowed 20 carbs a day from veggies, nothing more or nothing less. When I got my first set of blood work before I started this diet it was surprisingly normal for as fat as I was.
3 months later being on this diet my numbers were in the crapper. I lost about 40lbs in those 3 months because the metformin was making me sick most of the time so I couldn't eat. After another 3 months, I felt like I was dying, I was craving potatoes, rice, pasta so bad by this point. I was crying. I felt so awful. But the doctor wanted me to continue what I was doing.Fall 2008
- My husband changed jobs and got one that had benefits, I could actually go to an actual doctor instead of gear to income clinic from hell as I called it. My new doctor right away told me that I wasn't diabetic so he was unsure why this other doctor had me on metformin and esp that high of a dose, no diabetic even would take a dose that high!
Turns out when the b!tch doctor at the clinic from hell gave me an insulin/sugar test with the sugar stuff you drink, she gave me enough for a pregnant woman!! She clearly didn't know what the f#%^k she was doing so that was why I was so white and ready to faint after the 4 hours and drawing blood every hour!
So my new doctor after reading over these tests promised to help me and get me on track, the first thing he did was cut me back slowly on doses of metformin. He also ran my blood-work and I was months shy of actual death due to the diet my previous doctor had me on, I was 27...2009-2010
I continued on the right path losing weight and getting on track, but something felt wrong to me yet again. I hit a plateau and got discouraged. My doctor helped me out by temporarily putting me on phentermine. It got me over the plateau but my blood pressure was now outta wack, so off the phentermine and on blood pressure meds.
By the fall we moved into our new house just before Halloween, I fell off the wagon and gave up losing weight even tho I had lost over 150lbs.
I gained all the weight I lost back, then probably some extra. I don't know. All I know is I was still on blood pressure meds, still feeling pretty crappy. Found out after almost 9 years of trying for a family I couldn't have kids. This sunk me into more of a depressed state.2015
Being married now 10 years at this point, I was still struggling with confidence/esteem issues. I was just set in my ways. My hubby sat me down and expressed his concerns with my weight, telling me that he wanted to grow old with me and enjoy retirement with me and he was concerned we would never be able to do that with my weight and how it was.
I realized he was right, I was now almost 35 and I haven't done much but take care of the house and game for the last many years. I mean in 2013 I did start working part-time to get a 2nd car and put all my pay to paying it off (which I had done in the first few months of working there).
So I realized that I needed to not just start working on my weight but myself too so I looked into getting some counseling since I wasn't ready to join a gym. Last time I joined a gym I remember I would walk in and have everyone just stare at me. So I decided to workout at home. I had my biggest loser DVDs from my previous journeys and I could walk outside. So off I went.
So from Summer 2015 to Summer 2016, I did just cardio. Once it got to the hot super summertime in 2015 we bought me a treadmill so I could walk inside instead of dying in the heat outside. Same with the fall/winter didn't wanna freeze.Summer 2016
came around and I joined a gym. I felt better at walking into one being over 100lbs lighter, they offered free personal trainers so I got with one. He gave me workout plans, started to do them. My eating was still okay, not the best but ok. Fall 2016 I started to plateau, the trainer told me I wasn't eating enough that I needed to eat more, so I did, tossed the scale aside, and did what he said.
By Christmas, I didn't feel any different if anything I felt fatter then I was again, turns out when I jumped on the scale eating more was the wrong move. I gained 50-60lbs back, I was devastated. I almost wanted to give up but I didn't.January 2017
I quit listening to the trainer I had and started doing my hubby's old workout routine when he was in the military.
Hubby even joined me because he felt motivated to make some changes. He was still doing really well on quitting smoking. He had quit for almost 10 years but running into some old friends triggered wanting to pick up cigarettes again.
He was super mad at himself. I told him to just take steps to quit again that he did it before and I believed in him that he could do it again.
I quit smoking back in 2000 so it was a huge deal to me.
By April/May we joined a new gym, got with a trainer there, and a food coach too. By the time I joined with them I had lost all the weight I gained from the other trainer. So I kept going.
The year and my workouts went on and I managed to lose about 90lbs that year.2018
I kept on the same workout plan, my eating was so-so. But I kept moving forward.
April I had enough guts to join wrestling school, esp since they were having free tryouts for women. I was nervous as all hell going in there but thanks to one of the trainers Sarge, it wasn't so bad lol. I was about 200lbs down by this point.
Even tho I was still struggling with my mindset of being even heavier sometimes it took learning moves pretty hard because I was scared to hurt people.
I made 3 wrestling show debuts in 2018 which were enough to graduate wrestling manager. I was told to work 3 more shows to graduate referee. I even got my wrestling license in August that year!
There been setbacks that year, one was landing on the ring apron and being down and out for the 2 weeks. But got back at cardio and ended the year slow.early 2019
was the year I graduated twice from wrestling school, the first female non-USA born to do this accomplishment, both referee and manager.
Sadly my car needed repairs come that summer and that put my wrestling fun on hold but I still had my artwork that I do!
I resumed my workouts and kept kicking as much butt as I could while I could till September when I had to have my tonsils out, but what was another setback at this point?! Just another bump I will get over!Well... here is 2020!
and now yup it's 2020 and late 2020 at that, we are almost in October!
I promise I am almost done with my story!!
For the last little over 5 years, I have been busting my *kitten* to lose weight and get healthy... I had setbacks, who doesn't? Some days I look at the calendar and go... great another year gone and it feels like I didn't accomplish anything...
I know over 200lbs is a lot and yeah sometimes I don't eat the best, other times I do. My workouts are sometimes consistent and sometimes not. I try my best and my hardest to keep doing what I am doing even with the obstacles and other things that stand in my way.
I know it's all a process and journey, not a race...
For now, I will continue my workouts at home because I am still not heading back to the gym since numbers are still climbing with COVID, having less stress working out at home is best right now anyway since I am getting more results this way, plus my doctor was happy when I told her I was sticking with at home till this COVID stuff goes away.
But here I am and yes I am still powering through and you know what you can too!
Between all this and the bullying and everything else I been through, I know I will reach my goals, takes time, as frustrated and annoyed as I get sometimes... yeah I'll get there, I am worth it, I can't give up now.... neither can you ♥I went from a 6X to now an XL/L depending on the clothes...
lost over 25 inches in my upper arms and upper legs
and countless other victories!
Thanks for reading ♥
My recent side by side!
Along with a few other photos!