Avoiding the doctor because I’m an idiot.

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Long story short, I lost 60 lbs 2017-2018 due to severe depression. I went to the doctor at my lowest weight to get meds for my mental health and eventually weaned off with the help of therapy. With my new found not depressed state, I have not-so happily gained it back. Recently I’ve been experiencing vertigo, insomnia and extreme fatigue. I made an appt for next week but I am SO full of anxiety about seeing her, unveiling my failure and I’m scared of what the blood work may show to my failure too. Anyways, I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has any experience with this feeling. I’m not so vain to think my doctor will think about me all day and talk about my fatness over dinner... but I can’t kick the worry. Thanks in advance. :)

Replies

  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 777 Member
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    I have no idea why it double posted or how to fix it, sorry about that.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    edited October 2020
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    Let it all go, Louie. Danni. Let it goooo. Worrying doesn't make anything go away, it just robs you of your peace.
    Your doctor is going to diagnose you based on the present and not yesterday. A good doctor will fix your broken wing and send you on your way. Put your head on the pillow and go to sleep. If you need some noise to blank out thoughts just turn your radio to a talk show on low. Those sports programs are pretty good for putting you to sleep. This will be a blip on the radar after your appointment.


    Remember Danni, worry is notorious for being inaccurate.


  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 777 Member
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    Diatonic12 wrote: »
    Let it all go, Louie. Danni. Let it goooo. Worrying doesn't make anything go away, it just robs you of your peace.
    Your doctor is going to diagnose you based on the present and not yesterday. A good doctor will fix your broken wing and send you on your way. Put your head on the pillow and go to sleep. If you need some noise to blank out thoughts just turn your radio to a talk show on low. Those sports programs are pretty good for putting you to sleep. This will be a blip on the radar after your appointment.
    Thank you. Deep deep deep down, I know you’re right. I appreciate your advice. :)
  • ms_maruska
    ms_maruska Posts: 119 Member
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    You health is the most important thing and you should be proud for taking the steps to ensure good health, especially when it's a difficult thing for you to do. What your doctor MAYBE MIGHT think doesn't really matter. You seem embarrassed about regaining and I can really understand that but at the end of the day, it's ok that you feel that way, acknowledge it, process it but don't let it paralize you. As for blood work, not knowing is the worst but whatever it is, just be aware that you have already taken the steps to correct it.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    Sorry for your problem but your doctor probably sees these types of relapses constantly. Otherwise he or she would be out of business. So go, and get yourself back on track before it gets worse. Then once you're in a better place, monitor yourself a little more and when you find yourself "slipping" make an appointment immediately.

    Wishing you the best and make that appointment today.
  • nanastaci2020
    nanastaci2020 Posts: 1,072 Member
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    I agree with letting it go. This is what your doctor is for. And your doctor has many other patients. Some dealing with minor things, some major. So there are good chances that you fit somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. Meaning your doctor has seen/treated/experienced what you're dealing with in other patients - and more.

    The positive points: you are getting treatment. You can make progress. Instead of looking back (when you can't change what has taken place) look forward. Think about what you want to accomplish, and make a list so you can discuss your goals with your doctor.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    In my experience doctors are reluctant to have high hopes any of us will either keep going or keep it off. Obesity plagues the medical community too and it does not appear any of them have a better success rate than the rest of us. I am often treated with near celebrity status in medical offices because I have lost so much weight without surgery and I am reasonably close to a "healthy" BMI. I do not say any of that with pride. I find it uncomfortable and a constant reminder that 1) I have to avoid acting like most people that lose weight and 2) I have to keep trying to help as many people as I can.

    Your story is not finished. You are the underdog hero and this is a hero's journey with ups and downs that serve to forge you. Any time your story needs the helpful janitor mentor to help point you back in the right direction this board is full of them. Allow your past to fuel you and teach you without letting it overtake you.