Different kind of story

umbramirror

Brief synopsis of my journey: I jumped around a lot in weight throughout my life. I'm a 5'6" female who has been anywhere between 120-250 lbs. I have mostly been on average anywhere between 135-155. Most recently, I went from about 240 to 125 in less than a year - from 2018 to 2019, I believe. I gained back a significant amount of weight in only a few months after some severe issues with binging. I had been eating too little for how much training I was doing for too long.

To the present, I've lost probably half of what I've gained. However, I went about this in a different way. I did not weigh myself and I did not track calories (just tracked portions based on previous tracking methods). I simply went by how my clothes were fitting. It has been a little over a month since I've started and I feel great. I started counting calories again about 2 weeks ago, but I haven't weighed myself. I'd estimate I'm probably between 135-142 lbs.

My question to you all is... I feel great as I am now and I'm pretty happy with how my clothes fit. I could definitely do some recomping, that's for sure but I have a good amount of muscle and I'm satisfied. However, something keeps telling me I should lose weight but I know I should begin maintenance. Is there a way I can successfully do this without weighing myself? I really don't want to become attached to a number again.

charmmeth

I have no wisdom on this but hope/expect that others will have, and would like to know what they advise. Good luck!

umbramirror

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate the kind words.

mylittlerainbow

Oh, gosh. It's definitely better for your mental health to stay away from scales and fixation on a number or a range, and judging by your clothes certainly works. If everything fits as it should and you want a recomp without losing further weight, you could try adding one thing (or increasing portion size) for a week or so and seeing if you're still at that point or if things have gotten tighter or looser. I have trouble advising you without any resorting to a scale at all though. Again, others might have more experience with this.

psychod787

umbramirror wrote: »

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate the kind words.

You know my opinion.... there is a "happy" place we will gravitate to accord to genetics, lifestyle, and environment. Do what makes YOU happy. Just remember, better is a far better option than perfect. In my opinion... I would take it easy a while and maingain... yes maingain... small small improvements over the next year. Glad to see you are still around ma'am. Missed seeing you here...🙂

umbramirror

Thank you to you both for your comments. It's very hard for me to find my "happy" place as you know, happiness being relative to a variety of circumstances/situations. With that being said, maybe staying in this place for a little while can help me figure out exactly what happy is.

umbramirror

psychod787 wrote: »

Glad to see you are still around ma'am. Missed seeing you here...🙂

Thank you. I'm finding my way back and hopefully will become even more involved with time.

ggeise14

It sounds like you are in a good place and have a good plan to not fall back to unhealthy habits. Have you ever taken your measurements and kept track of those? Clothes feeling good is one way but I've found that now that I've lost 18+ pounds my clothes still fit, just not using the "stretch" part as much.

mom23mangos

I find it's mentally healthier for me to not track. I go by clothes, pictures and measurements, plus my mental health status.

umbramirror

ggeise14 wrote: »

It sounds like you are in a good place and have a good plan to not fall back to unhealthy habits. Have you ever taken your measurements and kept track of those? Clothes feeling good is one way but I've found that now that I've lost 18+ pounds my clothes still fit, just not using the "stretch" part as much.

I was thinking the same actually that maybe I could go back to measurements. I used to track my measurements as often as I would check my weight. Which is something I'm a bit worried about too because I used track my waist measurements obsessively. If I was above 25", I would feel bad for the rest of the day, which is stupid. It makes me a bit anxious to go back to that.

Lately it has been seeing how my jeans fit. My size 26 jeans were tight and now they fit well for example. Shirts that were a little snug are now loose. Measuring circumference could allow me to ease back into a measurement system.

mom23mangos wrote: »

I find it's mentally healthier for me to not track. I go by clothes, pictures and measurements, plus my mental health status.

I think so too... but I'm wondering now if I start looking at any measurement to begin with, I might as well go by weight as well. I'm not sure. Perhaps I could set different dates for measurement and weighing and vow to not weigh or measure beyond those dates. For example, I could weigh twice a month, and measure once a month, for example. Not sure how often would be good. How often do you measure yourself?

WorkInProgress_1

I am in ED recovery for many years. I can help you abs in turn help me. Friend me if you want.

MadisonMolly2017

umbramirror wrote: »

My question to you all is... I feel great as I am now and I'm pretty happy with how my clothes fit. I could definitely do some recomping, that's for sure but I have a good amount of muscle and I'm satisfied. However, something keeps telling me I should lose weight but I know I should begin maintenance. Is there a way I can successfully do this without weighing myself? I really don't want to become attached to a number again.

@umbramirror
I’d concentrate on what needs of hour’s the eating filled (and the over-weighing &/or over-measuring)...

Once you figure out your underlying needs, you can gradually shift your habits To meets them without food.

I agree with @psychod787 ’s comments, too.

I found podcast #26 by Brooke Castillo pretty life changing...

Circumstances
Thoughts
Feelings
Actions
Results

CIRCUMSTANCE (ie Fact) Examples: Scale went up. Waist went down.

THOUGHT - subjective response to circumstance: one sentence
Ex: Oh no, I’m gaining my weight back!!!!
I suck at maintenance

Thought triggers FEELING (one word): fear or disappointment, Hopeless, for example

Our Feelings drive our ACTIONS
Ex: give up, stop weighing, focus on work, curl up in bed, eat out etc.

Actions create RESULTS
Gain weight, measurements increase, health declines, depression, lack of self care

Note the Results provide evidence that your THOUGHT was correct...

SO we go chain back up & CHANGE the Thought.

THOUGHT: You know weights in the scale vary by 2.4 lbs up and down periodically. No single weigh-in is important- only the averages & trends. You have a 10lb maintenance range and you are in it!!! If you think you’re eating when you’re not hungry, perhaps don’t eat 1/8 or 1/10 of each item. You know only a few extra calories can make all the difference. Baby steps. You got this.

FEELING: calm, have perspective & a plan You need it

ACTIONS Eat as usually, making sure I’m actually hungry

Results: maintain weight
IE slowly correcting the INCORRECT THOUGHT above.

It can help to craft a “I am someone who knows that the scale will jiggle, so I keep my eyes on my trend weight every 2 weeks. I am at peace.”

Hope this makes sense. A complete game changer for me. You can begin anywhere in chain to self-coach yourself.

It’s adapted from many wish folks throughout history including Mahatma Gah Di:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.

I found Brooke Castillo’s worked better for me, but everyone creates a unique path through maintenance❣️

MadisonMolly2017

https://tipsofthescale.com/brooke-castillo/

MadisonMolly2017

https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/26/

umbramirror

@MadisonMolly2017 Thank you so much for your reply. This type of approach is surprisingly difficult for me. I am not very successful with metacognition. In that case, maybe this experience can help me learn how to recognize these aspects of my inner world more readily. I will review and consider. Thank you again.

I decided in the end to take the plunge and weigh/measure myself. I wasn't entirely pleased with the result but I wasn't disappointed either. I weighed in at 139.8, so I was accurate in my judgment that I was likely between 135 and 142, which was satisfying and informative. Measurements were, waist: 26-26.5" never quite get this right, hips: 36", bust: 35".

Honestly, I don't know if weighing myself was the right choice. I can't get the number out of my head and wanting to reduce it. I did tell myself I wanted to lose about 5 more lbs, which I will do. But now since I'm on the edge of my max comfort weight, I'm terrified of gaining more weight. I just have to keep making the best choices and work towards maintenance soon.

MadisonMolly2017

@umbramirror
I’m glad it was what you had thought it was!
I wish you all the best❣️❣️