Finding Myself

dulcedenisse

I was going to title this “Finding Myself Again”, but that “again” part is not necessarily true.

I’m 28, mom to a soon to be 10 year old. I’m on my second marriage (go ahead judge). I was laid off in March due to Covid. We moved from Texas to Ohio. And now I’m on my second semester in school.

Here’s the thing, I’m still struggling with the insecurities I built from my first marriage. Some days I feel beautiful, and on most days I struggle with my image. I’m too old to not know who I am or what sets my soul on fire. And what my divorce taught me is that life is too short. I spent 10 years with my ex husband and I invested hard on that marriage. It literally drained me, and now I have someone who I’ve known since I was 7. Someone who is amazing to me and yet I feel inadequate. I don’t feel sexy. I wanna have sex but I don’t feel like I’m beautiful, so I wait til he engages. I feel like my insecurities are gonna hurt the man that loves me.

Here’s the kicker, when I work out, I LOVE it. I know enough to get me going. I just feel stuck, I feel like I’m never going to get “there”.

I’m 230, 5’4. I’d like to get to Onederland, and work my way to 170. And there reevaluate.

I NEED friends!! Thanks for reading!

gisem17

First, no judgements here. MFP has done a good job of creating a judgment free space. Besides, we all have our issues, if we didn't, we wouldn't be here.
Second, dont give up on the app. The app works, but only if you use it. I know it's a little tedious at first to enter everything you eat, but it gets easier. If you enter everything and stay under your daily calories, you will get to Onederland and beyond. (And just to be clear, its pronounced O-need-er-land.)