Welcome to Debate Club! Please be aware that this is a space for respectful debate, and that your ideas will be challenged here. Please remember to critique the argument, not the author.

Scales vs looks

Writingwren
Writingwren Posts: 37 Member
Just wanted to know everyone’s thoughts on the wildly different ways a weight can look on a person. I’m a little frustrated because I have a friend who just had a baby- her stomach is the same size as mine (who never has had a kid lol). She’s probably 3 bra letter sizes bigger than I am, especially now, and has about the same size bottom as I do right now. We are literally so similar looking in weight right now except I may have a bit more chunk in my legs, but she has more in her bust. Plus, she’s slightly shorter than I am. And yet I’m 190s, and she’s 160? I guess I’m just venting because I guess it hurt my feelings that I weight 30lbs more than a new mom, and I didn’t even think we looked THAT much different. It just felt frustrating to me. But it also gave me hope that if I ever did lose my weight, maybe I’d look even thinner than what I was haha. Anyone else experience something like this?

Replies

  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    So you're upset that your 190 pounds look like 160?

    I think a lot of people might take this as a GOOD thing (in that we generally acknowledge that, up to a certain point, a lower weight is associated with being more visually appealing than a higher weight is).

    But I mean . . . this is stored energy on the body. I get being hurt by what people SAY or what people DO. I tend towards over sensitivity myself. But this is just body mass. Letting it hurt your feelings seems so counter-productive (and yes, I realize we don't necessarily get to CHOOSE what hurts us).
  • Writingwren
    Writingwren Posts: 37 Member
    Thanks you guys. I agree with everything you are all saying, I guess I do feel a little extra sensitive right now cause I haven’t been able to lose lately, and was probably just looking for something to complain about. But I appreciate the feedback, and I’ll try to just be the best me I can be and not waste my time with nasty jealousy haha :0
  • TwistedSassette
    TwistedSassette Posts: 8,825 Member
    I think there can be so many variables between bodies, that it's too difficult to compare to anybody but ourselves.
    You say you're taller than your friend, so your weight distribution will look different. Your bones may be more dense, therefore weigh more. She would likely have some loose skin given she's just had a baby, so this may look larger than it would normally. You may have more muscle than her, which weighs more though taking up the same space. You may be retaining more water than her (especially if she's breastfeeding, it's easy to dehydrate). If you weighed on different scales, or at different times of the day, or during different times in your cycle, these are all variables that can impact your weight on the scale.
    As others have said, be your best self and make decisions every day that move you toward better health. There's more to life than what the scales say, or what we look like.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    It's pointless to worry over it. One thing that always blows my mind, is reading clothing reviews that name height and weight. So much variation. Also height can make a very big difference too! If you're taller, even an inch or two, that's gonna (likely) make a big difference.
  • chocolate_owl
    chocolate_owl Posts: 1,695 Member
    This site is useful in showing that people at the same height and weight can look pretty different and be very different clothing sizes. Weight alone doesn't tell you very much about a person.
    https://www.mybodygallery.com/