Lost 85 pound - hit first goal - not sure how to continue.
lauriekallis
Posts: 4,770 Member
I’m a woman. 57 years old - 5’9” – 190 lbs - vegetarian/relatively clean eater – accustomed to being very physically active.
Quitting smoking 4 years ago just about did me in. Along with a lot of messed up head stuff, I gained 85 lbs. I wasn’t thin to begin with, but was living comfortably at a muscular 190. A few months after I quit smoking, my brain and then body went haywire. I was gaining 4 lbs a week – like clockwork – every Sunday morning I used my neighbour’s scale to weigh myself and I was 4 pounds heavier than the previous week. My eating didn’t justify the gain, but it happened. I spent years freaking out. Yo-yoing up and down the same 20-30 pounds.
I’ve been hindered by a few significant injuries. The first, a major calf tear that compelled me to quit smoking, was followed by knee, foot, arm and shoulder issues. I worked as a landscaper/renovator until about 2 years ago, but had to give that up. So I’m adjusting to new activity levels and figuring out how to fit physical activity back into my life.
I finally managed first to stabilize my brain and then my body and have gotten back down to 190 lbs. Most of this weight loss has been since the covid lockdowns began, and I have faithfully used MFP to track and make nutrition decisions. Now that I have hit my goal, I am not happy at this weight. I have lost a lot of muscle because of my lifestyle change, so 190 doesn’t feel or look as good as it did. I want to work toward 160-170 pounds. I’m not sure exactly because I don’t know how that weight will feel, nor how hard it will be to maintain. So 170 will be my next goal and then I’ll take stock again.
Since April I’ve been eating 1000-1300 calories – aiming for 50% carbs / 25% protein / 25% fat. I walk a lot – somewhere between 2 or 3 hours of brisk walking a day. Occasionally – maybe once a month? – I’ll have a pizza night with a friend, and maybe once a week a sweet treat of some sort, a Big Daddy cookie or a chocolate bar. This has not been too terrible of a system to maintain.
Until now.
I just can’t seem to do it anymore. I think when I had lots of extra body fat to use as fuel my body tolerated this deficit, but lately I’ve been ridiculously hungry – to the point where I have started eating before bed. Not junk. These are not snacking cravings – but actual hunger.
I’m not sure how to increase exercise right now. My shoulder is such a mess – a bicep tendon and three of four rotator cuff tendons are fully ruptured (I’m waiting for surgery that isn’t coming quickly during this pandemic) – that moving my torso around shifts it in unpleasant ways. And I still have a touchy knee and foot, so I’m going slowly on that front with some physio type exercises and walking that has kept me moving and sane. There are not enough hours in the day to walk more and, worse, I expect I will have to reduce my walking once the snow and ice arrive. I’m pondering a recumbent stationary bike for the winter. I used to cycle a lot, but this summer my shoulder didn’t tolerate it.
So it seems the best bet is to change-up what I’m doing on the eating front.
With the wealth of information available on this forum, I’m a bit overwhelmed and feel unable to make a decision on what to do now. I’m terrified of having the pounds roll back on.
I’ve messed around a bit this month with “refeeds,” eating at maintenance two days a week which MFP pegged at 1900 calories when I chose sedentary which seemed the safest bet. But eating like this leaves me feeling really anxious, and guilty! I think I do better with a consistent routine.
I’m considering:
Any advice from you objective, experience, knowledgeable people would be very much appreciated.
I’m attaching a picture from earlier this year and one I took last week to show a friend my new winter coat. I finally broke down and did some clothes shopping which I have avoided during the pandemic and instead wore clothes that I had packed away as I gained weight. Shopping after weight loss is a lot of fun!
These are not the best “before” and “now” pictures ... I’m still a bit camera shy ... but I’m really glad I have them. They remind me of what I have accomplished during this crazy year.
Sorry for the novel ... :-)
Thank you!
Quitting smoking 4 years ago just about did me in. Along with a lot of messed up head stuff, I gained 85 lbs. I wasn’t thin to begin with, but was living comfortably at a muscular 190. A few months after I quit smoking, my brain and then body went haywire. I was gaining 4 lbs a week – like clockwork – every Sunday morning I used my neighbour’s scale to weigh myself and I was 4 pounds heavier than the previous week. My eating didn’t justify the gain, but it happened. I spent years freaking out. Yo-yoing up and down the same 20-30 pounds.
I’ve been hindered by a few significant injuries. The first, a major calf tear that compelled me to quit smoking, was followed by knee, foot, arm and shoulder issues. I worked as a landscaper/renovator until about 2 years ago, but had to give that up. So I’m adjusting to new activity levels and figuring out how to fit physical activity back into my life.
I finally managed first to stabilize my brain and then my body and have gotten back down to 190 lbs. Most of this weight loss has been since the covid lockdowns began, and I have faithfully used MFP to track and make nutrition decisions. Now that I have hit my goal, I am not happy at this weight. I have lost a lot of muscle because of my lifestyle change, so 190 doesn’t feel or look as good as it did. I want to work toward 160-170 pounds. I’m not sure exactly because I don’t know how that weight will feel, nor how hard it will be to maintain. So 170 will be my next goal and then I’ll take stock again.
Since April I’ve been eating 1000-1300 calories – aiming for 50% carbs / 25% protein / 25% fat. I walk a lot – somewhere between 2 or 3 hours of brisk walking a day. Occasionally – maybe once a month? – I’ll have a pizza night with a friend, and maybe once a week a sweet treat of some sort, a Big Daddy cookie or a chocolate bar. This has not been too terrible of a system to maintain.
Until now.
I just can’t seem to do it anymore. I think when I had lots of extra body fat to use as fuel my body tolerated this deficit, but lately I’ve been ridiculously hungry – to the point where I have started eating before bed. Not junk. These are not snacking cravings – but actual hunger.
I’m not sure how to increase exercise right now. My shoulder is such a mess – a bicep tendon and three of four rotator cuff tendons are fully ruptured (I’m waiting for surgery that isn’t coming quickly during this pandemic) – that moving my torso around shifts it in unpleasant ways. And I still have a touchy knee and foot, so I’m going slowly on that front with some physio type exercises and walking that has kept me moving and sane. There are not enough hours in the day to walk more and, worse, I expect I will have to reduce my walking once the snow and ice arrive. I’m pondering a recumbent stationary bike for the winter. I used to cycle a lot, but this summer my shoulder didn’t tolerate it.
So it seems the best bet is to change-up what I’m doing on the eating front.
With the wealth of information available on this forum, I’m a bit overwhelmed and feel unable to make a decision on what to do now. I’m terrified of having the pounds roll back on.
I’ve messed around a bit this month with “refeeds,” eating at maintenance two days a week which MFP pegged at 1900 calories when I chose sedentary which seemed the safest bet. But eating like this leaves me feeling really anxious, and guilty! I think I do better with a consistent routine.
I’m considering:
- a deficit break for a few weeks or a month and then getting back to what I have been doing up to now. But I just hate giving up the exhilaration of losing weight and am really afraid I’ll completely lose control and not be able to get back on track.
- accepting that I really can’t maintain this deficit and up my daily calories to something manageable (1500 – 1600??).
Any advice from you objective, experience, knowledgeable people would be very much appreciated.
I’m attaching a picture from earlier this year and one I took last week to show a friend my new winter coat. I finally broke down and did some clothes shopping which I have avoided during the pandemic and instead wore clothes that I had packed away as I gained weight. Shopping after weight loss is a lot of fun!
These are not the best “before” and “now” pictures ... I’m still a bit camera shy ... but I’m really glad I have them. They remind me of what I have accomplished during this crazy year.
Sorry for the novel ... :-)
Thank you!
0
Replies
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Can you work with a physiotherapist to make a list of (modified) exercises you CAN do and then instead of losing more weight, which will probably not make you happy, eat at maintenance and add on some muscle? It may help you feel and function better, especially strengthening your core.1
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Congrats on your success! You look great! As far as the injuries and appropriate exercises I agree that going to a specialist would be best.
I also think this is a good option: "accepting that I really can’t maintain this deficit and up my daily calories to something manageable (1500 – 1600??)". Except this is no way a "cop out" or giving up! This calorie level seems much more reasonable.2 -
You are stuck in an all or nothing mindset. I am not sure it is disordered but then I am not sure any of us losing a large amounts of weight do not at least flirt with disorder.
Your objective needs to change. This cannot primarily be about losing weight anymore. It has to be about managing yourself properly through the process. You know that right now you are not doing that well. If you learn to manage yourself you should be able to shift to maintenance eventually with no problems. If you don't, you are either going to be overwhelmed by the fatigue or if you get to a goal you will run out of runway. However, fatigue is real and it will likely keep sucking the life out of you until you are forced out of your current mode. Unfortunately an all or nothing mindset usually means regaining. I have sang this tune MANY times.
One of the things that helps is to understand that the plan is bigger than losing weight. It is a broad spectrum self improvement plan. It is habit change. It is mindset change. It probably involves better stress management and sleep hygiene. It is writing a user's manual on yourself. Weight loss for me is a side effect of doing all the things I need to do.
The plan requires breaks. It requires that you deal with the fatigue. You cannot ignore it. This is your new challenge. Weight loss needs to be on hold for a short time.
The other thing is you will not be able to sustain those calories anymore. You are continuing to lose muscle and leaving your fat percentage higher than you are going to want when you get done.
You are absolutely correct when you think that losing fat means that your energy management and hunger gets more involved/interesting. I have experienced this too. Some people who elect to lose very fast report that the hunger levels at the end are brutal. Avoiding that conclusion is pretty motivating for me to keep things sensible.
You are going to hate this but I would not suggest it if I didn't think it was necessary and if I had not done it myself a couple of times...
1 month break. For the first 2 weeks set MFP to gain .5 pound per week. Eat all your exercise calories. For the second 2 weeks set MFP to maintain your weight and still eat ALL your exercise calories. The best way to know if a break really did what it needs to do is to show a slight gain. However, you will probably not show any because most people do not know their numbers that well and the 250 calorie surplus is just a guarantee that you are not in a deficit the first 2 weeks.
4 -
Mithridites wrote: »Can you work with a physiotherapist to make a list of (modified) exercises you CAN do and then instead of losing more weight, which will probably not make you happy, eat at maintenance and add on some muscle? It may help you feel and function better, especially strengthening your core.
I think getting my upper half stronger will make a big difference...but I've been put on hold on that front from my physiotherapist and sports medicine doctor. Surgery will potentially happen in 2 months or so? Then 6-8 weeks more of being super careful - then full out physio! I've never looked so forward to physio :-)0 -
You are stuck in an all or nothing mindset. I am not sure it is disordered but then I am not sure any of us losing a large amounts of weight do not at least flirt with disorder.
Your objective needs to change. This cannot primarily be about losing weight anymore. It has to be about managing yourself properly through the process. You know that right now you are not doing that well. If you learn to manage yourself you should be able to shift to maintenance eventually with no problems. If you don't, you are either going to be overwhelmed by the fatigue or if you get to a goal you will run out of runway. However, fatigue is real and it will likely keep sucking the life out of you until you are forced out of your current mode. Unfortunately an all or nothing mindset usually means regaining. I have sang this tune MANY times.
One of the things that helps is to understand that the plan is bigger than losing weight. It is a broad spectrum self improvement plan. It is habit change. It is mindset change. It probably involves better stress management and sleep hygiene. It is writing a user's manual on yourself. Weight loss for me is a side effect of doing all the things I need to do.
The plan requires breaks. It requires that you deal with the fatigue. You cannot ignore it. This is your new challenge. Weight loss needs to be on hold for a short time.
The other thing is you will not be able to sustain those calories anymore. You are continuing to lose muscle and leaving your fat percentage higher than you are going to want when you get done.
You are absolutely correct when you think that losing fat means that your energy management and hunger gets more involved/interesting. I have experienced this too. Some people who elect to lose very fast report that the hunger levels at the end are brutal. Avoiding that conclusion is pretty motivating for me to keep things sensible.
You are going to hate this but I would not suggest it if I didn't think it was necessary and if I had not done it myself a couple of times...
1 month break. For the first 2 weeks set MFP to gain .5 pound per week. Eat all your exercise calories. For the second 2 weeks set MFP to maintain your weight and still eat ALL your exercise calories. The best way to know if a break really did what it needs to do is to show a slight gain. However, you will probably not show any because most people do not know their numbers that well and the 250 calorie surplus is just a guarantee that you are not in a deficit the first 2 weeks.
Wow.
To be honest - your advice is hard to not quickly dismiss. Though somewhere I guess know it is true. It is funny - I didn't even mention the fatigue ... lol ... I certainly feel it though.
hmmmm...technically - this should equal a 1 pound gain. I can handle that. I should not gain any more than 2 or 3 real pounds in the worst case scenario of messed up logging. I can handle that too. Certainly seems worth the risk, because I know this isn't going to end well unless I change things up.
I will digest your words today. I'm trying to have a do nothing day (other than walking :-) ) because I just don't have any gumption and I've been busy beating myself up over it to no avail. I think you have hit the nail on the head. I thank you for taking the time to offer such a very thoughtful response.
2 -
lauriekallis wrote: »You are stuck in an all or nothing mindset. I am not sure it is disordered but then I am not sure any of us losing a large amounts of weight do not at least flirt with disorder.
Your objective needs to change. This cannot primarily be about losing weight anymore. It has to be about managing yourself properly through the process. You know that right now you are not doing that well. If you learn to manage yourself you should be able to shift to maintenance eventually with no problems. If you don't, you are either going to be overwhelmed by the fatigue or if you get to a goal you will run out of runway. However, fatigue is real and it will likely keep sucking the life out of you until you are forced out of your current mode. Unfortunately an all or nothing mindset usually means regaining. I have sang this tune MANY times.
One of the things that helps is to understand that the plan is bigger than losing weight. It is a broad spectrum self improvement plan. It is habit change. It is mindset change. It probably involves better stress management and sleep hygiene. It is writing a user's manual on yourself. Weight loss for me is a side effect of doing all the things I need to do.
The plan requires breaks. It requires that you deal with the fatigue. You cannot ignore it. This is your new challenge. Weight loss needs to be on hold for a short time.
The other thing is you will not be able to sustain those calories anymore. You are continuing to lose muscle and leaving your fat percentage higher than you are going to want when you get done.
You are absolutely correct when you think that losing fat means that your energy management and hunger gets more involved/interesting. I have experienced this too. Some people who elect to lose very fast report that the hunger levels at the end are brutal. Avoiding that conclusion is pretty motivating for me to keep things sensible.
You are going to hate this but I would not suggest it if I didn't think it was necessary and if I had not done it myself a couple of times...
1 month break. For the first 2 weeks set MFP to gain .5 pound per week. Eat all your exercise calories. For the second 2 weeks set MFP to maintain your weight and still eat ALL your exercise calories. The best way to know if a break really did what it needs to do is to show a slight gain. However, you will probably not show any because most people do not know their numbers that well and the 250 calorie surplus is just a guarantee that you are not in a deficit the first 2 weeks.
Wow.
To be honest - your advice is hard to not quickly dismiss. Though somewhere I guess know it is true. It is funny - I didn't even mention the fatigue ... lol ... I certainly feel it though.
hmmmm...technically - this should equal a 1 pound gain. I can handle that. I should not gain any more than 2 or 3 real pounds in the worst case scenario of messed up logging. I can handle that too. Certainly seems worth the risk, because I know this isn't going to end well unless I change things up.
I will digest your words today. I'm trying to have a do nothing day (other than walking :-) ) because I just don't have any gumption and I've been busy beating myself up over it to no avail. I think you have hit the nail on the head. I thank you for taking the time to offer such a very thoughtful response.
I have lost over 250 pounds and gone through fatigue now 4 times. I could see it in your post a mile away. The long and short of it is we are intentionally placing ourselves in a long term famine situation. We are eating less food than we need and forcing our body to use energy reserves. As we do it our bodies respond with adjusting hormones and entering a mild energy conservation mode. We need to take a break from it both mentally and physically.
I am approaching 2.75 years. I am currently mildly fatigued. I have tried to fix it through the normal means but it is not lasting. My instincts are telling me I need at least 3 months off. I plan to start the Friday before Thanksgiving unless I feel my grip loosen more.
There is not a lot of information on how to manage yourself through large amounts of weight loss out there unless you go through surgery. This is why I started my group so that we can share experiences and try to figure out how to make it all work.2 -
Carefully consider what NovusDies is telling you. And your reaction, feeling that you want to dismiss what your brain believes to be true, is where the rubber meets the weight loss road.
Weight loss basically requires 2 things- a calorie deficit and living with it long enough for it to work. People go all in on the deficit and then try to beat themselves into living with it.
I think the answer is focusing on the process.
When you have control of the process time can be on your side. The process is a skill set. We have to learn it. If your plan isn’t working try to make it better. Quit kicking yourself. Trial and error is the only way to learn weight loss. Keep trying, you’ll get it.
PS Starting at 285 lbs I lost to about 215-220 and was stuck there for a long time. If we succeed for a while following a routine but then encounter problems there’s a tendency to double down on what worked before. In the end I had to reinvent my plan about 4 times to lose 100lbs and keep it gone.2 -
The process is a skill set. We have to learn it. If your plan isn’t working try to make it better. Quit kicking yourself. Trial and error is the only way to learn weight loss. Keep trying, you’ll get it.
PS Starting at 285 lbs I lost to about 215-220 and was stuck there for a long time. If we succeed for a while following a routine but then encounter problems there’s a tendency to double down on what worked before. In the end I had to reinvent my plan about 4 times to lose 100lbs and keep it gone.
Thank you. Our numbers are similar. I started at 275 and am feeling at a loss at 190. Not necessarily "stuck" - just unsure of what to do next.
I'm slowly accept that it is time for a break. I've input "gain .5" into my goals and have said yes to counting my exercise calories. Yesterday that gave me just shy of 3000 calories. I just couldn't get my head around that! lol
So I ate more, until I felt comfortable. Today I'm doing the same. Both days that seems to come around to about1800 calories. I'm going to relax a bit and see what happens. I don't want to eat beyond feeling comfortable. Nor eat lots of high fats foods just to bump up my calories if I'm not feeling hungry.
I certainly had to change things up. This actually feels pretty good! Much more energy today and less focussing on "food" and when the next meal is coming.
Thank you for your insights....it really does help.
1 -
Increasing your calories and aiming for a lower deficit is a good idea, and there is NOTHING wrong with it. It may not be easy, but try to get out of the habit of thinking of foods as good vs bad. While you want to be in control (for the most part at least) of your food choices, it is OK to choose to have that pizza, or sweet treat, or whatever.
Compare to your financial budget. You have a certain amount of income, and use that to pay bills, rent, buy groceries and other needed items. Do you occasionally spend a little on entertainment, or on things you want - but don't necessarily need? If you know your obligations are covered, then it is perfectly reasonable to spend some of what you earn on wants/entertainment - yes? The same is true of calories. Spend the bulk of your calories on nutrition that you need. Foods that fill you up, provide your body with needed nutrients. But spend some, when you can 'afford it' on things you simply want.3 -
nanastaci2020 wrote: »Compare to your financial budget. You have a certain amount of income, and use that to pay bills, rent, buy groceries and other needed items. Do you occasionally spend a little on entertainment, or on things you want - but don't necessarily need? If you know your obligations are covered, then it is perfectly reasonable to spend some of what you earn on wants/entertainment - yes? The same is true of calories. Spend the bulk of your calories on nutrition that you need. Foods that fill you up, provide your body with needed nutrients. But spend some, when you can 'afford it' on things you simply want.
I like the comparison to a budget! And, it is much easier to spend some calories on foods that I simply want - once my alotted daily calories are higher. On 1200 a day - allocating sufficient calories to accommodate a chocolate bar or some other treat really leaves you "hungry" !0
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