Feels Impossible Now - Blatherings From The Old And Broken

PurringMyrrh

At 24, it felt possible. I could find the physical and mental motivation to at least start. Hell, even put it to good use and lost 80 pounds a couple of times (only to gain it back, plus, so here we are again *non-covid cough*).

At 43 and 280 (5' 7"), it feels the furthest from possible. The motivation train left the station for the last time without me and I dont even know when it departed. Just. Gone. I wake up daily already tired, but anxious. I eat like shyte. I go to work, which thankfully is a hella physical job cuz it's my only exercise, struggle through the whole gig, and can think about nothing more than all the stressful things and plopping my aching fatness into my recliner, then bed. Wake up, repeat, x infinity. Completely stuck in the self-imposed imaginary rut. A rut so deep it's hard to see the top if the sides cuz dirt keeps falling in my eyes when I look up. (Accidentally typo'd "diet" instead of dirt there 😄🤔)

At 20, lost 40 pounds on Herbalife, gained back+

At 24, lost 80 pounds with Sweatin to the Oldies and eating one huge meal a day, gained back+

At 26, lost 80 with walking and Atkins, gained back+

At 37, lost 30 pounds with MFP, eating decent, and doing Stronglifts, gained back+...but...I know this is my route to take. I should never have stopped for a holiday break when I was barely getting dedicated and seeing improvment. THIS path is what I need to revisit. I just need to find the trailhead. I felt fantastic (compared to now) and that 30 pound loss looked like 50+ because of the lifting. I felt productive at work and had "energy" to accomplish at least small tasks outside of work instead of sitting paralyzed in my chair, afraid to expend energy I need to get through my shift.

Im close to even forgetting how amazing that felt because it seems as if it was lifetimes ago. Lifetimes that werent even mine. How to I take a walk when every step feels like impossible sludge? How do I drink a gallon of water when I cant even remember a quart? How do I meal prep when I cant even find energy to clean the kitchen? How do I find the trailhead when Im just aimlessly boonie crashin'? I know the answers...somewhere in there...

In summary - ugh, here we are again.

springlering62

Cup half empty much?

There’s a ton of people on here who woke up at 56 (me), 60, even 70 and said *kitten* this, I’ve had it, time to make a move for the better.

I was buried in a demanding job, with teenagers, big house, husband, dogs, at your age, too, and felt much the same. All I can tell you is, I wish to God I’d taken advantage of the opportunity at 43.

You either have to wait for your moment to strike like lightning (me), or grab it by the whatchas and make it happen for yourself. If I was in charge of lightning strikes, I’d give you the beat down right now.

I could give you the usual MFP spiel about getting outside, sunshine will help chase those blues away, start with small changes, blah blah blah, but you have to be the one to decide you’ve just had enough.

I will say, losing the first ten pounds helped tremendously. It gave me hope, got rid of the Reflux From Hell, and some of my pain subsided, and it made me sit up and pay attention.

So, my advice to you? Stop it with the fad or MLM diets and do something sustainable. Get outdoors. Sunshine will help with what sounds like a bit of depression. Start with small changes. Walk a little, then a little more, switch to diet sodas or cut them out, keep temptations out of the house. Set a goal with smaller, attainable, incremental goals. Success breeds success.

suzij27

Many of us have been there. I knew what to do, but I kept waiting for motivation to hit again. It took years. Yes, years,

My suggestion is to start with one thing, maybe 2. Don’t try to change everything at once. Maybe start with drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning, then before each meal. And eliminate sugary drinks, If this is for a lifetime, then you want to build habits that are doable. Then add another change every few weeks.

I had been exercising regularly for over a year but my weight wasn’t changing because I was eating whatever sounded good. No planning. No looking at calories. Not wanting to look! 😝 What finally worked for me was to commit to tracking. I had resisted it for so long. But it has made a huge difference. Also, thanks to COVID, I rarely eat restaurant or prepared foods. It is easier to cook at home to meet my calorie goals. I have lost 32 lbs since May, and feel optimistic that I can continue.

I also find podcasts helpful. I learned about Half Size Me and We Only LOOK Thin through the boards on MFP. (Thank you!) They both emphasize slow and steady weight loss, just like MFP. And sustainable changes,

Good luck! You can do this!

pbellis317

hi where did you find the podcasts? I am new to this site. I am involved in a one month study at the University of Florida tracking my weight. So far, I am doing well, but I know the newness will wear off at some point in tracking, so having reasons to motivate me to track would be helpful. I am starting with tracking and drinking water, those are my two things. My goal is to keep tracking once the study is over. Having someone or thing that you are accountable to is a game changer. I don't want to loose my momentum.

Like many I have turned to pre-made foods because of my hectic life. Now it is not so hectic, because of the pandemic and the way we are accessing things we used to do such as meetings, through Zoom. I think hearing a pod cast might be a good motivator for me.

3greyhorses

I'm right here with you. Starting over again today, feeling somewhat hopeful, but also wondering if I'm just setting myself up for failure and more frustration and depression. BUT, here I am. I am trying again. I haven't given up.

Mithridites

Shutting down negative self-talk can have incredible effect on weightloss success. Believe me I know. Easier some days than others, true. However, a continuous effort toward healthier thinking as well as healthier living has a synergistic effect.

socajam

All inspiring comments from everyone
springlering62 - your comment sounds just like mine - wish I had done this at 40 and kept it off.
But I am here yet again after losing 24lbs feeling wonderful and forgetting about maintaining
This time it's for good because tracking it the only thing that works for me.
I eat extremely healthy, but my biggest problem is portion control.
Right now to keep diabetes at way, I have to lose 10 lbs, but my real goal is to lose 30.
Yesterday I did 75 minutes on the elliptical and felt wonderful, today I will walk outside for fresh air and sunlight.
My goal is to track everything that I eat and do some form of exercise

conniewilkins56

If I can lose weight anyone can....no excuses.....at 68 I finally decided I had put my body through enough abuse physically and mentally....I joined MFP May 28, 2019 at 350 lbs....I was miserable and slept most of the time....Fast forward Nov. 10, 2020 I have lost 99 lbs....I feel so much better and so much at peace with myself....I hate to exercise and I waited a year before I started doing any...now I swim 1 1/2 hours 5 days a week and I attempt Richard Simmons 2 days a week....I don’t have to take sit down breaks while I prepare a meal and I can walk when I shop, not sit in a motorized cart....at 69 now, I am still losing weight and plan on losing at least another 50 or 60 lbs....I suffer from Binge Eating Disorder and I still go off the rails if I am off kilter but I am riding this train for the rest of my life!...I wish I had woke up at a younger age but you are never too old to get healthier!

springlering62

Instead of premade foods, consider an aircrisper.

I wouldn’t be exaggerating to say mine (Ninja Foodi) has revolutionized my cooking and eating habits since I got it in March.

I can grill steak, pork or chicken breast in well under twenty minutes. Baked potatoes are quick and have a wonderful creamy texture. Fries are crispy and as good as any fast food place and can be crisped with little or no oil. Hamburgers are as good as the outdoor gas grill. Breaded shrimp or fish patties are glorious. Shrimp nights are now special around here. I slice pork tenderloin into thick steak medallions, hit them with some Thai peanut sauce, grill and feast. Even tofu and halloumi come out of a crisper at a higher level.

Sunday I baked potatoes, threw them in the wall oven on “keep warm”, while I grilled steak for dinner. As we were eating I grilled some season chicken breasts for lunch this week, and after those were done, threw some sundried tomato chicken sausages in to cook for four or five minutes to add to my tomato soup dinner one night. All this took about 70 minutes, including preheating for ten.

And then the whole basket lifts out, fill it with soapy hot water, soak an hour or two, wash and done.

We were at target yesterday and actually discussed getting a second crisper so we could do fries and grill burgers at the same time. And there’s only two of us! If our kitchen weren’t so tiny I’d do it.

Btw if you get one, get the largest capacity you can. Ours is an 8 qt and it comfortably does about 24-26oz max of sliced potatoes for fries. That’s 10.6 (2 servings at 110 each) oz for me, the rest for him. I could easily eat more if I could cook more, so maybe that’s a good thing I can’t!