Sexism at the gym, or just creeps in general?

okbuddha
okbuddha Posts: 22 Member
in Motivation and Support
I’ve had it happen a few times now where I’m touching my toes to stretch my hamstrings or doing a squat and a guy leers at my literal *kitten*. Both times I’ve turned around or stopped what I’m doing to stare at him until he gets self-conscious and stops. Or at least knows I saw him.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m apprehensive about touching my toes without a wall behind me. Another time a guy made a comment to his friend about me stretching like that, but I didn’t do anything because if he denies saying it I can’t be like “well it’s on camera.” At least his friend told him that was kind of inappropriate.

Do guys deal with creeps too, or is this another part of the female experience?

I’ve sometimes seen girls stuff their butt up in a guy’s face when she strategically works out in front of him (started seeing that after a guy friend complained to me about the behavior.)
Either way, it’s gross and depressing.

Replies

  • Inspirationalwaterjug
    Inspirationalwaterjug Posts: 384 Member
    There's a group of old german ladies that get in the pool and stare at me while I siwm. They're chillin in the sauna until I start setting my stuff out then they just get in and stare at me and speak German. It's very strange
  • amart4224
    amart4224 Posts: 345 Member
    Yes, back when I was a gym goer I would try to avoid things like dead lifts or anything that puts you in that "booty out" position when there were guys in the room. I also had multiple experiences where I would be working out, doing my own thing, and a random guy would come up and try to "correct my form" sometimes literally putting his hands on my body 🤢

    Guys can be creepy anywhere but the gym really seems to bring it out.
  • Go_Deskercise
    Go_Deskercise Posts: 1,630 Member
    Yup, this is one of the many many reasons that I stopped going to the gym....

    I had a trial membership at one of those 24/7 gyms during my college days and I would go late at night. You scan your key card to get in the locked door and while they are cameras, there are no employees or anybody there except for others with a pass. Sounds secure in theory but anyone can open the door and just let people in.

    During the time that I went, there was a group of 4-5 men that would just sit on the machines and chat. They worked at the restaurant next door and had just gotten off work and apparently this was there hang out spot. Never did I witness them working out and I know enough Spanish to know that they were talking about me and staring at me while I worked out. Being late at night and the only one there with them, I felt super uncomfortable. When my trial membership ended, they asked if I was going to join and I told them no and why. The manager admitted that multiple people had said the same thing. Apparently they came in the morning before work too just to sit on the machines. Manager said there was nothing he could do as they paid for their membership to be there even if they were not working out. This place closed within about 8 months from this happening
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    I'm not a fan of gyms for a wide range of reasons but being stared at / glanced over isn't one of them. If this is how one must get their jollies, I feel sorry for them. I just get in, and then I just get out. I don't even shower at the gym.

    The only reason I'll hang out longer than necessary in a gym is when someone's hogging a machine or the free weights I need 😒

    That said, I'm also the type of person who will say something directly to a person who has me displeased or escalate to staff if someone gets out of hand.

    Yet, gyms (especially in urban areas) are often about community so the owners should be cultivating a respectful one. If you don't like the culture in your gym and have other options, then it may be worth it to "shop around." Personally, I'd let the current gym know you're doing so and why.
  • angelexperiment
    angelexperiment Posts: 1,917 Member
    I just go when no one is there typically early morning or late at night
  • Dogmom1978
    Dogmom1978 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Yep, one of the added benefits of the home gym is the only guy being lewd is my husband lol. He gets a pass (most of the time).
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    I personally like being looked at when at the gym. 🤷‍♀️ I'm badass and look good.
    If it makes you uncomfortable OP, you can always workout at home.
  • Dogmom1978
    Dogmom1978 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    I personally like being looked at when at the gym. 🤷‍♀️ I'm badass and look good.
    If it makes you uncomfortable OP, you can always workout at home.

    Small tangent here to say I don’t understand this. I am not a piece of meat to be stared at or touched by ANYONE. Men should be able to behave themselves regardless of how badass or good looking someone is. As a woman, I should be able to go to any gym I want and be able to do my workout without creeps eyeballing my kitten or any other part of my anatomy.

    This thread isn’t about men being an awe of how much a particular woman can lift, it’s about men who don’t have decent manners.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    edited November 2020
    Dogmom1978 wrote: »
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    I personally like being looked at when at the gym. 🤷‍♀️ I'm badass and look good.
    If it makes you uncomfortable OP, you can always workout at home.

    Small tangent here to say I don’t understand this. I am not a piece of meat to be stared at or touched by ANYONE. Men should be able to behave themselves regardless of how badass or good looking someone is. As a woman, I should be able to go to any gym I want and be able to do my workout without creeps eyeballing my kitten or any other part of my anatomy.

    This thread isn’t about men being an awe of how much a particular woman can lift, it’s about men who don’t have decent manners.

    I agree but what exactly can you do about it safely? Complain to the management is about all I can think of. Some people do not like confrontation and working out at home is always an option for those.

    Yes in an ideal world everyone would behave themselves. But this isn't. 🤷‍♀️

    ETA- I have seen women just as perverse as men.
  • Dogmom1978
    Dogmom1978 Posts: 1,580 Member
    I have seen women as bad as men, but there are MORE men who do it than women. Ignoring it or staying home are the last 2 options I would choose. No man is going to make me think I have to work out at home to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

    So, yes, the women SHOULD complain to the gym management. Stare right back at those jerks. Confront them if you feel comfortable doing so. If there are 0 consequences, they won’t stop doing

    I simply hated commuting to the gym, so building a sweet home gym was ideal. (I live in a rural area)
  • Dogmom1978
    Dogmom1978 Posts: 1,580 Member
    The men who don’t like it should complain also. 😊
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    Dogmom1978 wrote: »
    I have seen women as bad as men, but there are MORE men who do it than women. Ignoring it or staying home are the last 2 options I would choose. No man is going to make me think I have to work out at home to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

    So, yes, the women SHOULD complain to the gym management. Stare right back at those jerks. Confront them if you feel comfortable doing so. If there are 0 consequences, they won’t stop doing

    I simply hated commuting to the gym, so building a sweet home gym was ideal. (I live in a rural area)

    Agreed. Again not everyone is comfortable with this option. Some situations this would be downright dangerous. It's a sad situation all around if it makes you uncomfortable. No one should feel uncomfortable anywhere.

    You can only control yourself and your actions, no one else's.

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