No doughnuts this morning. Staying motivated after failure.

mayarama15

I posted this on my 'blog' this morning. I then realized that what I really wanted to do was share with others. It's not really sharing when you only have 2 friends and no one else will see it. I'd appreciate any tips/thoughts and of course commiseration.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/mayarama15/view/not-stopping-for-doughnuts-this-morning-569208

So in the last three weeks of my so called diet I have not-dieted, counted calories, or really given a F**** on more days than I have. Believe it or not, this is still progress. The last time I went on a 'diet' was over 5 years ago- I lost some weight but lost momentum and it ended in disappointment and a stubborn refusal to engage in any further diets. I suck at diets. I'm really good for like 2 days, 3 at the most, but then I mess up- I wish that I could say that it was because of cravings or sugar withdrawal- but it isn't always. Sometimes I just get tired and want five doughnuts. I've really been trying to avoid the extremes but it is really tough. I've always had a huge appetite and when I am thinking about food it almost makes it easier for me to give into temptation. Of course I do so then I try to outrun my fork (usually spoon for me), fail miserably, get discouraged, and then binge. It is a bad, unhealthy, self deprecating cycle. So I'm not lying when I say that I suck at diets. I suck so much that I tend to gain weight instead of losing it.

I wish I could tell you that now that I have identified my issues with dieting I have found a solution and am on track, and life is good, and if I can do it anyone can! You're not going to hear that from me. Today just happens to be a good day for me (it's before 7:30 am here so I'm not sure I can even say that much). What I do want to share is the lyrics to a song that came on my ipod this morning. I was about 200 feet into my 1.2 mile run, about to turn into a mountain (okay hill), and a thought crept into my mind. It wasn't a new thought, it is a thought I think at least once an hour on even my best days- "why do I even bother?." And from inside my ear I heard this:

"You can do this, you can do this
You are not a lunatic
Crazy would be changing your mind
You can do this, you can do this
You are not a lunatic
Crazy would be leaving it behind"

(Andy Grammer Lunatic)

Nothing earth shattering- crap it isn't even all that original! This song is not going to change my life and magically make my diet successful- but today it helped. Maybe not the whole day even- but I finished my run in record time (granted i've only done it twice before), ate a healthy breakfast, and am not quite as tempted to pick up doughnuts on the way to work this morning.

CorlissaEats

If you go on a "diet" you will fail nearly every time. Its better to focus on a lifestyle change.

There is no failure in a lifestyle change- on progress and tweaks. Its a process and a reframing of how you think. Looking at things in light of your end goal- whether it be fewer calories, less fat, more fibre, less sugar, etc. Lifestyle changes require constant evaluation and fresh starts and doesn't focus on what you cannot have or cannot eat. You also don't have to work as hard to forgive yourself for what you perceive as weakness.

mallen404

If you go on a "diet" you will fail nearly every time. Its better to focus on a lifestyle change.

There is no failure in a lifestyle change- on progress and tweaks. Its a process and a reframing of how you think. Looking at things in light of your end goal- whether it be fewer calories, less fat, more fibre, less sugar, etc. Lifestyle changes require constant evaluation and fresh starts and doesn't focus on what you cannot have or cannot eat. You also don't have to work as hard to forgive yourself for what you perceive as weakness.

This ^^

bethannien

Those little victories are everything! You just have to take it one day at a time. The hardest part is , when there is a backslide, moving forward anyway.

CipherZero

A loser's mentality is "I've already screwed up today, might as well go all out on blowing it."

When you do something that's not in line with your weight loss goals, remember:
[1] Your body doesn't know what a 24 hour clock is. If you're 1000 calories over Tuesday's intake, cut 200 a day for the rest of the week and you're even again.
[2] SALVAGE THE REST OF THE DAY. Do you get in a fender bender and then drive into a wall because the car's alreeady been hurt anyway?

lambchoplewis

I needed all this advice also!! I had lost 25 lbs and maintained for 9 months. Then in May, I started to slide. A glass of wine here, a binge there etc. I stopped weighing myself and now I find 10 lbs creeped back on. It is day 1 of going back on a plan I know works. I get up, weight, post food and read some motivational posts. This is how I did it before and I let summer and other excuses get in the way of what I know is good for me. I needed all these thoughts - thx

mayarama15

[2] SALVAGE THE REST OF THE DAY. Do you get in a fender bender and then drive into a wall because the car's alreeady been hurt anyway?

This is a great analogy- I'm really going to try and remember this. THANKS!

norahwynn

So stop dieting and just make healthier choices. You shouldn't deprive yourself of anything (unless you're told to do so by a physician), because that's just setting yourself up for failure.

Chill out, eat better, move more...lose weight.

:flowerforyou:

jackjackattck

If you go on a "diet" you will fail nearly every time. Its better to focus on a lifestyle change.

There is no failure in a lifestyle change- on progress and tweaks. Its a process and a reframing of how you think. Looking at things in light of your end goal- whether it be fewer calories, less fat, more fibre, less sugar, etc. Lifestyle changes require constant evaluation and fresh starts and doesn't focus on what you cannot have or cannot eat. You also don't have to work as hard to forgive yourself for what you perceive as weakness.

Agreed 100%!! I have done the fad and crash diets in the past, and have yo-yo'ed for years. Now, I have been consistently losing weight. My new motto has been: Do not do anything in weight loss mode that you cannot sustain in maintenance. IE: crazy fad diets eliminating carbs, never eating pizza or chocolate, zero alcohol. Those extremes just set you up for failure in the long run. What you can succeed at though is an overall lifestyle overhaul. Sure, go for the donut! Just eat one donut instead of 5. Miss a workout? That is fine, just work out tomorrow. It should be something simple you integrate into your life.

[2] SALVAGE THE REST OF THE DAY. Do you get in a fender bender and then drive into a wall because the car's alreeady been hurt anyway?

Mistakes happen, setbacks happen, LIFE HAPPENS. You need to find a healthy weight loss plan that fits into your every day life, not something that you have to shift your life to fit into. It has worked for me so well. I don't need to restrict calories beyond the healthy limit, avoid any kind of junk food, ruin my social life. I just made minor changes that balance that all out. Eat half of my meal while I am out, order red wine or vodka and club soda instead of high calorie cocktails or beer, take the stairs, park far away. Being healthy is not a temporary thing, it is permanent. And if you maintain a healthy and BALANCED life, the weight loss will follow.

:-) Good luck!

lizziecheek

That was a great choice you made early this morning to exercise. So you make a poor food choice, at the next meal make better choices. I have found for me over many years of beating myself up and man can I beat myself up, that never once did it help motivate me to change. NOT ONCE!

Think about all of us with the same goals and you can believe many on any given day are struggling and have the chance to make a healthy decision or not. Life is messy. Some days your the windshield and sometimes your the bug. Just keep reaching out as you just did. That took a lot of courage. Feel free to add me as a friend.

joy1roberts

Ya, don't think of it as a diet. Something seems unappealing about the word. Slowly eliminate things that aren't necessary in your diet. I work in a restaurant and it's hard to fight the urges for french fries, alfredo sauce, etc. Someone even brought in red velvet cake....I hesitated....then declined even though I wanted that one bite that would lead to much more. I cut my drinking severely and 10 pounds fell off. Make it a long term lifestyle

lambchoplewis

I made it through day 1 and am on to day2 of no wine, exercise and good food. Slept the best I have in months. Stopped my re-gain at 10 lbs and now it is coming off. I have my winter clothes to think about!!!

Nothing tastes as good as feeling thin!!!

If you're going through hell, keep going!!!

teamAmelia

If you go on a "diet" you will fail nearly every time. Its better to focus on a lifestyle change.

There is no failure in a lifestyle change- on progress and tweaks. Its a process and a reframing of how you think. Looking at things in light of your end goal- whether it be fewer calories, less fat, more fibre, less sugar, etc. Lifestyle changes require constant evaluation and fresh starts and doesn't focus on what you cannot have or cannot eat. You also don't have to work as hard to forgive yourself for what you perceive as weakness.

Yep. And, OP, you should start small. What are some things that are contributing to your weight gain (soda, for example)? Try going to diet soda instead or zero-calorie water flavoring. You mentioned donuts. Try lower-cal/fat alternatives. And, I doubt that you want five. I think that you deprived yourself of it for so long that you crave it that much and binge on it. So, allow yourself that extra treat. I think that just by using the MFP log, you can see what you're eating and plan an entire day's meal and realize that you can eat enough to fulfill your cravings and stay within your goal. I look at it as like a puzzle (I have X allowed cals/fat/carbs/cholesterol. Nope, can't have that, it'll mess up my limits, I'll have this that and that instead). Try it and good luck!

Also, do you eat fast food a lot? You will be amazed at how much healthier it is for you to cook your own food or try your own home version of fast foods, like fries or burgers.

ETA: question marks. I always forget them!

mayarama15

It is sometimes frustrating to get advice on these forums. I haven't had soda in years, I rarely get fast food and when I do it is not mcdonalds or anything like that. I don't eat 'low fat' stuff either because those are usually worse for you than the regular stuff.