Help the helper: retired psychologist seeking friends

Psyjohn319

I hope to lose 40 lbs. over the next six months. Initially, however, I intend to quit smoking while I renew my diet and exercise program. A daunting task, I know. I surely can use a friend for mutual support.

Beautyofdreams

Is there a reason for the timeline? I personally find it much easier to change one or two habits over time instead of an entire lifestyle. Will you be exercising? It's not necessary for weight loss but improves mood and fitness and fills time.

Psyjohn319

Hi! Thanks for responding. No, it’s a completely arbitrary timeline. I thought it might be a way to keep myself on track but I’ll think about what you suggested. And yes, I will be exercising 4 to 5 times per week. That’s not new, so it’s not like I’m taking on another habit. These changes are overdue as I have a heart condition. John

AnnPT77

Psyjohn319 wrote: »

Hi! Thanks for responding. No, it’s a completely arbitrary timeline. I thought it might be a way to keep myself on track but I’ll think about what you suggested. And yes, I will be exercising 4 to 5 times per week. That’s not new, so it’s not like I’m taking on another habit. These changes are overdue as I have a heart condition. John

I feel weird saying this to a psychologist, but some of us (including me) feel like a "goal is the process" orientation is more helpful than setting goals like "X weight by Y date".

Forty pounds in 6 months is maybe not crazy-fast (little faster at first, little slower as you get closer to goal). Still, the scale can be fickle, given the potential for water weight fluctuations and such. Goals like "get exercise 3 days a week in the first month, 5 days in subsequent months" or "log my eating every day" or "get minimum 5 veggie/fruit servings daily" (or whatever) are things that are completely under one's own control. Loss rate is an indirect outcome of behavior; it's the behavior itself we can *control*.

If your concern is health, even the early stages of weight loss can be expected to have a payoff in terms of health markers (like blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.), and there are other relevant factors you can control as well, exercise (as you mention), nutritional quality of your eating, stress management, sleep and more. I'd observe that if you already have a health condition, and if you aren't age 20 anymore (as I'd guess from the "retired" part), then shooting for aggressively rapid weight loss would be taking on additional physical stress. Too much stress? Dunno. It's individual.

I'm not saying don't do it (not at all), but more suggesting that balance is an important consideration. Fast loss isn't necessarily best loss, health-wise, unless so far along the obesity scale that the weight in and of itself is the most important current health risk. (And people in that spot should lose weight under close medical supervision IMO.)

As background, I started losing weight at 59 (after having been class 1 obese for 30 years or so), started getting active in my mid-40s after cancer treatment, and am 65 and in year 5+ of maintaining a healthy weight since losing back in 2015. So, I'm not completely talking from theory here. That doesn't mean that what worked for me will work for you - not my point. Solutions are very individual, and the selection of best tactics very dependent on our own personalities, strengths, limitations, etc. It's a thoughtful thing, IMO, to find the individualistic best route - blogosphere orthodoxies and popular trends in weight loss may not be the best route.

Wishing you much success!

Psyjohn319

Wow! Thank you for all the detailed and useful suggestions! Since you are speaking from experience, your expert ideas and help carry a lot of weight (pun intended) with me. The more I think about the “goal in process,” it’s making more sense to me. Rather than some distant achievement, the goal focuses on doing your best today. Then, the future will take care of itself. Thank you so much Ann (?). Right now, I feel inspired and confident. Could I touch base with you should I need assistance in the future?

AliNouveau

Personally I find small attainable goals help. For instance log every day for a week, keep my sugar intake lower, lose 5lb by say the end of the year. For me if I am achieving results it keeps me going.

I'm sure you will be able to get this! Your first goal can be quit smoking. Think of all the money you can save and maybe invest that in some workout gear ....new shoes and workout clothing motivate me lots too

jrmurray1108

Hi John,

I’ve yet to give up smoking (so I feel your pain) but am making some progress on the weight loss and fitness side. Diet played a huge part in my goals and the app has been brilliant for that. Set yourself a calorie goal that helps you achieve your goal and use app to track it, sounds stupidly simple but it was a revelation for me and really accelerated my progress. Good luck, I’m sure with the confidence you ah e you’ll make it look easy

gewel321

I am also a psychotherapist. I am not retired however. I also started this with the goal of loosing weight and quitting smoking. That did not last long for me. I needed to do it one step at a time. I started with my weight. Once I was comfortable with my deficit and tracking I added exercise; Once I got comfortable with that then I decided to quit smoking. I am 61 lbs down and almost 2 months with no smoking. It can be done but it needs to be done at your pace. If you can' do it all at once then pick one and focus on it!

AnnPT77

Psyjohn319 wrote: »

Wow! Thank you for all the detailed and useful suggestions! Since you are speaking from experience, your expert ideas and help carry a lot of weight (pun intended) with me. The more I think about the “goal in process,” it’s making more sense to me. Rather than some distant achievement, the goal focuses on doing your best today. Then, the future will take care of itself. Thank you so much Ann (?). Right now, I feel inspired and confident. Could I touch base with you should I need assistance in the future?

Sure. I'm kind of a cr*p friend on the timeline/friend side of MFP, not very attentive. But I do eventually answer questions put directly on my profile page, or sent via private message (reliable message delivery seems to require "friend-hood", in MFP).

Send me a friend request if you want that, and I'll accept it. (I accept all FRs, except the ones from men who *only* have MFP friends who are cute glamor-photo young women . . . I'm sure some of them are fine, but I've had bad experiences with that subgroup: Apparently they don't realize I'm old enough to be their granny, or something. I expect my MFP friends to only say things in PMs that they wouldn't be ashamed to say in church, in front of their family and neighbors. 😆 Some folks don't wanna play it that way. 🙄)

yumesoraki

@Psyjohn319
I'm in the academia side of psychology, so it would be cool to have another psychology person to know here.

jurnei2998

Hm, thought I posted here, but can’t find it, weird.

I’m also a retired psych. I’ve lost 43 pounds since May, hoping to lose another 40, plus also quit smoking. Big goals, but this app and doing keto has really helped me be successful so far.

jurnei2998

gewel321 wrote: »

I am also a psychotherapist. I am not retired however. I also started this with the goal of loosing weight and quitting smoking. That did not last long for me. I needed to do it one step at a time. I started with my weight. Once I was comfortable with my deficit and tracking I added exercise; Once I got comfortable with that then I decided to quit smoking. I am 61 lbs down and almost 2 months with no smoking. It can be done but it needs to be done at your pace. If you can' do it all at once then pick one and focus on it!

Outstanding! Congrats on your weight loss and non smoking success. This is inspiring.

melaniedscott

One of my undergrads was psychology! Decided I didn't want to continue that direction. Got Married (gained 25 lbs). Did some special pops (gained 10 lbs), 15 years as a trainer in corrections (lots of cognitive-behavioral interventions and motivational interviewing, gained 50+ lbs). Toward the end of the corrections stint, joined MFP, lost 60. Then I got lazy and put a lot of it back on.

Need to do some CBI on myself. Motivational interviewing on yourself makes people think you're crazy...

Feel free to friend me if you want.