I don't know what to do. (TW I think)

maxsonk1

I have a hard time dealing with eating and with my weight, people around me are always telling me im skinny and thin but I don't feel like I am. Im 5'9 and weigh 127 but i feel like im 227. When I see myslef in the mirror I don't see what everyone else sees so it's hard. I wish I could get back to 110 because thats when I feel I looked the best.

I don't know what to do with these feelings, if I feel I ate too much then I sadly make myself sick, or when I log a chocolate bar I cired. My family says im fine, but I dont feel fine.

Chef_Barbell

Get some help OP... red flags in making yourself sick because you ate something.

goal06082021

+1 suggestion to talk to a professional, OP. You need more skilled help than an internet forum can provide. I wish you well.

Dogmom1978

+2 for therapy. You NEED a professional to help you before it gets even worse. Please get help.

LGreenfield7

Therapy is a good place to start. It is a longer process but a better understanding of nutrition and macronutrients might help. There is a lot of stigma around certain foods where in reality they can be quite good for us. Dark chocolate for example is very healthy. It is actually recommended that we eat a few small squares of it every day. I think that a "Junk food is bad therefore I shouldn't have any" approach is wrong. it would be better to have a true understanding of what goes into your body. That sick feeling you get after eating is more likely your mind saying no, not your body saying know. Body dysmorphia is a very serious issue. I always feel like my belly is fat and my arms are tiny. Step 1: talk to someone 2: educate yourself 3: healthy relationships 4: pick someone you trust (mom, sibling, SO, anyone) try to hold their opinion to high standard. If you see overweight and ugly but they see beautiful and aesthetic, believe them. They have nothing to gain by lying to you. That brings us to number 5: Trust... trust the people you care about and that care about you, trust in doctors, and trust in psychiatrists.


you will get through this, I know you will.

maxsonk1

Thanks.

PatriceFitnessPal

@maxsonk1 - I noticed you added, “TW” to the title of this thread, which I think means: Trigger Warning. To me, that sends a message that you (1) understand the warning signs and (2) you are calling out for help. So, first of all, congratulations on recognizing the problem AND reaching out for support. These are two important - and often difficult- steps that you have taken! The advice above is right on target. I’m hoping you can check in with this group to let us know if you were able to follow through in connecting to a therapist or support group of some type. I’m a bit worried about you, since you are right on the cusp of having an unhealthy BMI level for the average person. That can be a good ‘conversation opener’ for talking with your doctor or another trusted family member or friend - along with sharing your unhealthy thoughts related to your body image - so, I encourage you to take this next step.

Can you please check in with an update? 🙏🏼

Best wishes to you and, again, good for you for taking the first steps toward recovery but there is still work to do. You can do it! Hang in there ...

elisa123gal

You are smart, in that you know your perspective of yourself is skewed and that you are not too thin.. you just feel you need to lose more. Just look at the medical standard BMI chart.. it doesn't lie... and you know 110 is a very unhealthy weight for your height.

A professional therapist who specializes in eating disorders or body dysmorphia can really help you. Please get good professional help. Many people do and it works for them.

maxsonk1

@PatriceFitnessPal

I haven't booked an apointment yet, but I plan to. I weighed my self today and it was 120, I feel happy but guilty. Thats the only update I have so far.

robertw486

The fact that you identify the TW and accept your situation as a possible issue is encouraging. Quite a few people seem to struggle with that part.

And for you and anyone else that might want the info, MFP does keep a link of eating disorder resources.

https://support.myfitnesspal.com/hc/en-us/articles/360032625071-Eating-Disorder-Resources

From what I have seen on these forums there are a lot of people that struggle. I'm honestly shocked that there aren't some large groups that focus on the subject.

Posted without judgement and sending you good wishes in getting things under control.

ClearNotCloudyMind

Hi Mason, just spotted this and notice that you’ve dropped 7 pounds since the 3rd? Not an expert here but that sounds like a huge loss for someone who isn’t carrying much spare.

Sending you warm thoughts, hope you go through with your appointment and that it is helpful. I know how it is to see something different in the mirror to what the scales say. The numbers are worth listening to: they don’t lie.

Stay safe x

PatriceFitnessPal

maxsonk1 wrote: »

@PatriceFitnessPal

I haven't booked an apointment yet, but I plan to.

@maxsonk1 - I’m glad you are planning to make an appointment. That’s good news. Thanks for the update. Please check in again once you set up the appointment. I’ll look forward to hearing about your progress in connecting with someone who has the expertise to help you move past feelings of guilt and build increasingly healthy thoughts ...

maxsonk1 wrote: »

@PatriceFitnessPal

I weighed my self today and it was 120, I feel happy but guilty. Thats the only update I have so far.

As ‘ClearNotCloudyMind’ noted, a seven pound loss seems extreme for someone already at a low body weight. Your weight is now in the ‘underweight’ category according to typically healthy BMI guidelines. While these are only guidelines, it’s important to talk to a doctor and/or others with knowledge in these areas. The link to resources that ‘robertw486’ shared above will offer good information to support you through the next step of setting up your appointment ... or reaching out to someone you trust to help you make an appointment, if you find it difficult to take action on your own.

Best wishes. I’ll look forward to your next update!

PatriceFitnessPal

@Maxson1 - I’m just checking in to see how you’re doing. I hope you’re having a good week. Thinking of you ...

maxsonk1

PatriceFitnessPal wrote: »

@Maxson1 - I’m just checking in to see how you’re doing. I hope you’re having a good week. Thinking of you ...

Im doing ok, I keep swaying between 120 and 119. I haven't had my appoiment yet so...