Anxiety about how long it will take to reach goal

DanaBunny92

Does anyone else have anxiety about how much weight they have gained and how long it will take to lose? I am 196 my goal is 119 and I’m guessing it’s gonna take 1.5 years? I have all these thoughts like look how fat you got it’s gonna take forever to get to your goal and I was wondering if anyone else has this? If so how do you deal with it?

Lietchi

Time will pass regardless of whether or not you lose weight 🙂 speaking from personal experience, my 500+ days logging on MFP have flown by. I haven't reached my goal weight yet, nearly. But then again, I intentionally chose a slow rate of loss.

Don't let your anxiety trick you into sabotaging yourself by for example 'all or nothing' reasoning or trying to lose weight too fast and then giving up because it's too hard! I think it's a good idea to choose smaller intermediate goals if you feel anxious about 'the big picture'.

Machka9

And ... let's say you stick with it for a couple months and drop to 185 lbs. What then? I know a 10 lb loss would make me look better in several outfits. Suppose you stick with it for a couple more months and drop to 175. Would you be able to do more? Look better in more outfits?

snowflake954

Well--don't you think it might be a good idea to get started?

88olds

Our brains don’t really like change. A big part of our brains would be perfectly happy if today was an exact copy of yesterday. It would make life easy. Consider the popularity of tv reruns if you need convincing.

But I think our brains hate weight loss in particular. Read this board much and you’ll see how many people wreck themselves over the time factor. You’re a bit different. Your brain seems to be trying to stop you from even starting.

The calendar is not a weight loss tool. Weight loss is mostly about problem solving and persistence. Stick close to your number long enough and you will get to goal weight. In the end it will take you as exactly as long as it does.

Weight loss has 2 basic parts- hitting a calorie deficit number and living with it. People get focused on the calendar mostly by going all in on the deficit and trying to beat themselves into living with it. They think speed will end their suffering. Make a plan you can live with and time will be on your side if you let it.

Anna67890

I am going for the small goals approach and to my mind it seems much more achievable. Focusing on losing a small amount over a month or so feels easier to me than a larger amount over a long time. This might help you? Once I reach my next small goal I am going to treat myself to a nice bath bomb from lush!

JessiBelleW

Ive been going this time for about 122 days. Thats what a third of a year? Its so easy to tell that I have lost weight and I feel so much better of for it! I've lost about 6/7 kgs, thats a stone, or 14lbs, not even that much weight, but its better than not having lost that weight, or realistically gained more. Set your goals on losing 20lbs, and don't look up till then, then set your sights on another 20lbs and you will be half way there

MaltedTea

What a great thread! 🤗 I hope more people see it. I, for one, am bookmarking it.

Mind over matter, indeed.

Anxiety is not our friend but it can be harnessed to your advantage, @DanaBunny92.

There are podcasts and numerous content sources for this kind of work (and you'll likely see the impact beyond the scale) but you're likely best served by talking mental health professional during your weight loss journey.

AnnPT77

Besides all the good advice above, I'd encourage you to think about all the good things that will happen along the way, for that presumed 1.5 years: Some big things, sure, but also lots and lots of small incremental positive things, things you'd probably never have thought of or predicted, until you get there . . . but they happen, and give you that little "yay!" moment. It's not just the scale value on starting day 1 versus goal-weight day X, as if it were a binary switch it takes 1.5 years to flip from "on" to "off".

For me, this old and *huge* thread has been very motivating, both in helping me recognize good things to come (when I was first losing), and in encouraging me to keep going as things got tougher, because those bigger revelatory achievements were waiting ahead.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1275030/whats-your-most-recent-nsv/p1

Worth dipping into, if you haven't visited it. (NSV = non-scale victory.) Even now, I keep up with the thread, because it's just so darned inspiring to see people accomplishing their goals, and making new discoveries about themselves.

cwolfman13

DanaBunny92 wrote: »

Does anyone else have anxiety about how much weight they have gained and how long it will take to lose? I am 196 my goal is 119 and I’m guessing it’s gonna take 1.5 years? I have all these thoughts like look how fat you got it’s gonna take forever to get to your goal and I was wondering if anyone else has this? If so how do you deal with it?

I focused more on the process than I did weighing XXX Lbs by such and such a time. Losing weight wasn't the be all and end all goal...Mostly it was a nice bi-product of getting my *kitten* together. My overall goal was better health. I had a bunch of bad blood work and health markers at a mere 38 years old and wanted to change that. I focused on better nutrition, improving my overall health with regular exercise and improving my fitness, etc. Throughout the process, I also lost weight...and more importantly I was meeting with my doctor every 12 weeks, and every checkup was better than the last until all those nasty healthy markers were on point.

And really, there is no "end"...getting to some arbitrary weight goal you have established for yourself isn't the "end"...you still have to keep on keeping on if you want to maintain a healthy weight...you don't just stop eating well and exercising regularly because you hit some particular weight. Embracing the process helps to develop the healthy habits you will need to take into long term maintenance...which will hopefully be way longer than 1.5 years.

AnnPT77

Afterthought about benefits: Many of us find that the weight management *process* builds skill that can be redeployed to other things in life. It requires us to chip away at a long term goal, little bits at a time, and stick with it patiently and persistently. As we do, we're figuring out how to make a weight loss plan, tweak it as needed from time to time, stick with it when difficult (or cleverly modify it to be easier), exploit our personal strengths and skirt our limitations, etc.

It's hard to see this at the front end, but those skills turn out to be useful in other areas of life. I've seen people here mention applying it to long-term financial goals (saving for a house down-payment or retirement, getting loan balances paid down, etc.), and it certainly can apply to career development, formal education, and learning new hobby-type skills we might wish we had (like doing an art/craft or playing a musical instrument). All of those things require that same planning, patience, persistence, and happen through slow, gradual progress.

It will turn out that as you lose weight, you're doing much more than "just" losing weight. You may even gain insight into the sources of your anxieties, and develop a different sort of self-image of yourself as someone who knows how to create success in her life. This may sound like over-reach, but it's truly powerful stuff.

Best wishes for much success!

springlering62

My husband said something really wise as I had a meltdown trying to work on a derelict house we bought. He hugged me and said,”Honey, it’s better than it was before”.

That really stuck with me.

When the weight seemed to come off sooooo slow, I would feel my loose clothes and think, it’s better than it was before.

As the weight started coming off, revealing sad lumps and bumps and cellulite, it was better than it was before.

As I would look in the mirror, depressed I wasn’t “stacked” yet, it was better than it was before.

Now at 45 pounds under my original goal weight, I can still pull my belly in all directions- at once- like a baker tugging dough. And yep, it’s waaaaay better than it was before.

I am a perfectionist. I want everything now. It’s hard to start a major life change like this and not have it be perfect, not see immediate results.

But am I glad it did it? Oh heck yeah!!!!!!!

And has it taught me a lot about myself? Ditto.

DanaBunny92

Ahhh! Thank you all so much for the help! After seeing this I realized I need to focus on how I get there and not how long it takes. I realized trying to do 1200 a day to get to goal fast isn’t livable and will result in me binging. So I’m doing 1 pound a week at 1500. I get there when I get there but what matters is that I do get there and stay there. Much love and blessings to you all! So glad for the support I have found here in the MFP community ❤️❤️❤️

CameronWhittaker

Imagine how you are gonna feel in just 6 months when your 150lbs! The end might be over a year away, but that year is gonna be full of awesome milestones (and some devastating set backs). But you will get there eventually, it might take 1 year or it might take 3 years but you will get there eventually.