Your cleanest dirty joke

ninerbuff

Sometimes you just need a laugh. Keep it as clean as you can.

I was getting married in a few days and was over at my fiance's parents house finishing up some details. They both had to leave with my fiance to take care of some stuff that they didn't want me to see, so I just hung out watching TV. My fiance's younger sister came in the room to say hi. Now this girl is smokin' hot like her sister.......just younger. To my surprise she came up to me and said "I know you're getting married in a few days, so I had to tell you that I've always had a crush on you." I stared in shock at her. "Once you marry my sister, you're committed just to her. But you're not married yet. How about one last fling before you do?" I started sweating and suddenly was aroused. "I'm going upstairs to my room. I'll be waiting for you." She left and a few minutes later I got up and walked to the bottom of the stairway. I stood there for a few minutes contemplating what to do. I made my decision. I turned around and headed out the front door. When I opened the door, my fiance and her parents and other relatives started clapping. "You passed the test!!!! Now we know you're going to be a good husband!!!" I smiled and hugged everyone. The moral of the story..................leave condoms in your car.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

MaltedTea

What's Scrooge McDuck's favorite way to stay clean?
⬇️






A golden shower

(I'm fairly certain I'm not doing this right but that's all I got, my friend) 🤷🏿‍♀️

goal06082021

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anybody can roast beef.

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What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

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Four old church ladies are sitting and talking about their children.
The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'"
The second church lady chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'"
The third one says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'"
The fourth woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well…?"
She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6’2, hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God…'"

saintor1

Why Santa Claus has no child? Becoming he is coming once a year and using the back door.

rickifaidley

This isn’t a dirty joke but it still remains my favorite to this day.
What did the grape say when he was stepped on? Nothing he just let out a little whine 😂

Miz_Owl

OliveSalt

What's brown and sticky?


A stick!

J_NY_Z

My wife said her gynecologist told her she could not have sex. I asked her "What did your dentist say"?