Just venting and seeking if others are feeling the same...

I've been pretty bothered by the excessive skin dangling from my arms and my stomach. I had an ex, who was absuive, tell me many times I will NEVER be able to lose the weight. When I dumped him, I told him I was losing the dead weight because of him.

Anyways, I know that exercise will help but I don't think it would in its entirety. I started my weight loss journey at 270lbs wearing a size 26, this after having 4 babies so there's a whole lotta skin stretching happening here. I'm at a loss for words when my trainer (who is this cute young bubbly body builder) says, "yeah that won't go away fully, just have it removed!!" like it's and I am a lost cause. I just find myself bawling over this repeatedly because to me, it feels like an easy out, a failure to my efforts. Its so hard to have gotten where I am and yet it's so hard to just continue if all I had to do was just "have it removed" like a Kardashian. Does anyone else go through this or am I the only one who is feeling so completely hopeless??!?!
«1

Replies

  • vegan4lyfe2012
    vegan4lyfe2012 Posts: 1,099 Member
    I am so sorry you're feeling this way. You've accomplished so much - especially dumping the abusive ex! Please, for your own sanity, DUMP YOUR TRAINER LIKE YOUR EX AND FIND A NEW TRAINER! You need someone supportive and willing to help you exercise it away. I have complete faith that it'll happen. It sucks, but it just takes time.

    Hugs to you and be proud of who you are and what you've accomplished!!!!
  • DUMP YOUR TRAINER LIKE YOUR EX AND FIND A NEW TRAINER!

    +1
  • i am not trying to be mean or not supportive but no he is correct the skin may tighten but i will never completely go away being so streched for a long period of timet he skin loses its elasticity. Just like when you are pregnant you stomach is able to go down and go almost back to normal for the most part because it was not a long period of time. i would say research it. its like people saying you can get rid of strech marks or prevent them with creams. I asked my dr that when i got pregnant and she said no because the scar is formed under the skin causing the mark. So putting something on top of your skin wont help. It can get butter but it will never go away. :( sorry
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    I am so sorry you're having to deal with this. Screw that guy!

    But i have seen, numerous times, people who have lost a bunch of weight and needing a tummy tuck to remove excess skin. Nothing really to be done about it except lose very slowly and have it removed.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    I am so sorry you're feeling this way. You've accomplished so much - especially dumping the abusive ex! Please, for your own sanity, DUMP YOUR TRAINER LIKE YOUR EX AND FIND A NEW TRAINER! You need someone supportive and willing to help you exercise it away. I have complete faith that it'll happen. It sucks, but it just takes time.

    Hugs to you and be proud of who you are and what you've accomplished!!!!

    you cant exercise away excess skin. it doesn't work like that....
  • TayzerFun
    TayzerFun Posts: 45 Member
    First of all, you are NOT a failure! You are healing yourself emotionally, mentally and physically. You are not failing at all!! And pay no mind when someone says, "oh... ya know... pay the money, have the surgery and have it removed." (as if it's an easy choice to make....) I'm sorry your trainer seemed so insensitive. :( But my guess is, he's helped a lot of people.... and has had to say that a lot of times, and he probably said it without realizing how awful he sounded. -If that's not the case, find a new trainer. Just remember to be very kind to yourself. You are truly improving your life. If you decide that someday you'd like to have the surgery, go for it..... But really, you are beautiful and loved regardless. I have a lot of weight to lose (just starting my weightloss) and I'm concerned about the extra skin, too. I totally understand where you are coming from.
  • mspoopoo
    mspoopoo Posts: 500 Member
    I've been pretty bothered by the excessive skin dangling from my arms and my stomach. I had an ex, who was absuive, tell me many times I will NEVER be able to lose the weight. When I dumped him, I told him I was losing the dead weight because of him.

    Anyways, I know that exercise will help but I don't think it would in its entirety. I started my weight loss journey at 270lbs wearing a size 26, this after having 4 babies so there's a whole lotta skin stretching happening here. I'm at a loss for words when my trainer (who is this cute young bubbly body builder) says, "yeah that won't go away fully, just have it removed!!" like it's and I am a lost cause. I just find myself bawling over this repeatedly because to me, it feels like an easy out, a failure to my efforts. Its so hard to have gotten where I am and yet it's so hard to just continue if all I had to do was just "have it removed" like a Kardashian. Does anyone else go through this or am I the only one who is feeling so completely hopeless??!?!

    Are you at you goal now?

    Please don't be sad. I think they were just trying to prepare you in case it didn't go away all the way.
    I would rather had them be honest with me than either lie or just not say anything because then I would have the information to make a decision.

    Try the experiment of working out with heavy weights and if you have done that at goal weight for a year or so and you aren't comfortable with any excess left if there is, then you can decide what you want to do.

    I am pretty sure I would have a tummy tuck if it doesn't go down all the way and my current implants are sag city so I am getting them done too. I don't feel sad about it but just see it as another tool/option in the toolbox.
  • soldier4242
    soldier4242 Posts: 1,368 Member
    Your skin is an organ and it will shrink to fit the shape of your body.

    The more muscle that you build up the less your skin has to shrink.

    The combination of these two things will help improve your appearance but like your trainer and the others in this thread have pointed out there are limits.

    It gets difficult to pack on muscle the more you get and you skin can only shrink so far. The fatter you are and longer you have been fat the more likely it will be that your skill will hang. You might have to get it operated on and there is nothing wrong with that. Do as much work as you can first and if you have to have it cut off at least they won't have to cut off more than necessary.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,385 Member
    I've been pretty bothered by the excessive skin dangling from my arms and my stomach. I had an ex, who was absuive, tell me many times I will NEVER be able to lose the weight. When I dumped him, I told him I was losing the dead weight because of him.

    Anyways, I know that exercise will help but I don't think it would in its entirety. I started my weight loss journey at 270lbs wearing a size 26, this after having 4 babies so there's a whole lotta skin stretching happening here. I'm at a loss for words when my trainer (who is this cute young bubbly body builder) says, "yeah that won't go away fully, just have it removed!!" like it's and I am a lost cause. I just find myself bawling over this repeatedly because to me, it feels like an easy out, a failure to my efforts. Its so hard to have gotten where I am and yet it's so hard to just continue if all I had to do was just "have it removed" like a Kardashian. Does anyone else go through this or am I the only one who is feeling so completely hopeless??!?!
    The unfortunate side effect of a large weight loss is going to be excess skin. You can wait it out a year for some retraction to happen, but it will depend on age, genetics and length of time one was overweight/obese.
    There are no exercises, diets, stretches, creams, linaments, etc. that can reduce it. The actual choices will be learning how to live with it, or go under the knife to have it removed. And there's no shame in that because physically there's nothing you can do to reduce it.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,385 Member
    I am so sorry you're feeling this way. You've accomplished so much - especially dumping the abusive ex! Please, for your own sanity, DUMP YOUR TRAINER LIKE YOUR EX AND FIND A NEW TRAINER! You need someone supportive and willing to help you exercise it away. I have complete faith that it'll happen. It sucks, but it just takes time.

    Hugs to you and be proud of who you are and what you've accomplished!!!!
    The trainer isn't wrong here. You CANNOT exercise loose skin away.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
    I'd rather be at a healthy weight with excess skin than filled out skin in the obese category BMI.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I'd rather be at a healthy weight with excess skin than filled out skin in the obese category BMI.

    ^This. I have some loose skin but I'd rather have that than be back at 245lbs.
  • alexomahony71
    alexomahony71 Posts: 13 Member
    Liana you are brilliant and have achieved something many many thousands of people would love to achieve. Your next step is up to you. You are healthier and hopefully more able to enjoy yourself. If you want to treat yourself to some skin removal, then fact is you have earned it. If you are happy with where you are then great too.

    Once again well done on achieving something others dream of.
  • LianaG1115
    LianaG1115 Posts: 453 Member
    I'm not at my goal yet, I have about 70 more pounds to go but was quite discouraged with her approach today, I can't explain it but I know it just stuck negatively with me. Perhaps becasue my endeavors and that drive from the ex that just made me get to where I am to just feeling defeated today when I left...sometimes it's just hard to be healthy and to fight the fight.
  • ljhall8
    ljhall8 Posts: 19 Member
    I have lost almost 100 lbs 99 to be exact yes I know my ticker says 18 but I just started here. I don't have excess skin but I am on low carb high protein diet and no not stupid low carb like under 150 grams a day
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,385 Member
    I'm not at my goal yet, I have about 70 more pounds to go but was quite discouraged with her approach today, I can't explain it but I know it just stuck negatively with me. Perhaps becasue my endeavors and that drive from the ex that just made me get to where I am to just feeling defeated today when I left...sometimes it's just hard to be healthy and to fight the fight.
    She might not have had tact, but she didn't lie to you. And if she's helped you achieve losing weight, then she's doing her job. I can understand from a personal view that she didn't have your best interests at hand, but part of a PT's job is to be honest with their clients and provide tough love once in awhile.
    Don't take it personally. Use the info to help you figure out what you want to do when the time arrives to make a decision.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • vegan4lyfe2012
    vegan4lyfe2012 Posts: 1,099 Member
    After I lost 75 pounds, I didn't have loose skin hanging. It may not have been taut, but there was no need for removal of any excess skin. My point to the op is that she needs a trainer that is going to be helpful. Not make her feel like *kitten*. You can be an honest trainer who's an *kitten*, or compassionate and helpful. She needs to find a supportive trainer that makes her WANT to work on her body.
  • clepant
    clepant Posts: 3,287 Member
    Age also plays into it too. I had lots of saggy skin even though I lost my weight slowly, one to two pounds a week. I also exercised. My thighs look better a year later. My arms are getting pretty toned although my triceps could use a boost. My stomach is my big issue. It has improved but my insurance would never pay for it. I still have lose skin on my back and at the bend of my arms. I am giving it time. If it does not go away the next couple of years then I may pursue other options depending on how much it bothers me. But my weight loss is more important to me then my saggy skin.