What exactly is a 'friend' on MFP? (Sorry dumb question)

k8richer

I've been using MFP for a while to track CICO but only started exploring the community yesterday. Love it!
Ive looked through the FAQs but can't find some basic info (which probably means this is a really dumb question).

If someone asks to be my friend, what does that mean exactly? What can they see and do? What can I see and do with them?
Thanks!

LisaGetsMoving

You can put your settings so that "friends" can see your food and exercise diary. Friends will also see, on their "Home" area wall, things like "k8richer has logged in for 14 days in a row" or "k8richer has lost .8 pounds since last weigh in" generated by MFP, and then friends can comment on your progress directly on your Home wall. The very best things that friends can do is cheer you on or inspire you to keep going or check in on you if you've become less active. The comments between friends are not viewable by the public.

I am new to this too. I am fortunate, I've found some good people to friend and support. I've only dismissed two people who sent friend requests, one because I realized it probably wouldn't be a good fit and the other one kept sending me private messages about someone I didn't know and it made me uncomfortable. Everyone else is cool, we swap recipe ideas and cheer each other on. My advice: send friend requests to people that you have something in common with and share similar goals. Also, it's OK to drop friends who offer you no support in return.

LisaGetsMoving

Forgot to say this: it is NOT a dumb question. I hesitated at first to add friends, especially since I didn't really know anyone. Last year I ditched Facebook and Twitter because it seemed more toxic than was healthy, so I was reluctant to repeat anything like that here.

snowflake954

Not a dumb question at all. You don't have to accept FR or have any friends on here, if you don't want to. It's not for everyone. I don't engage much with mine. I check in everyday and just see what everyone is up to. It's nice to see that they are exercising and tracking, some are losing, some are frustrated, some drop out for a bit, some come back. Some are going through a rough period and need some encouragement--I try to do that. Some tell everything about their life. I find people interesting.

So, if you are very private, you don't have to have friends, if, on the other hand you are social, then it's a nice thing to have. You can always unfriend anyone at any time if you want to.

k8richer

Thanks for your quick reply! Does this mean I basically will get notices on my wall for everything that a friend is up to? So if befriend 20 people im going to get posts on my wall every time 20 people workout or every time they weigh in? Holy smokes. That seems like info overload which is exactly what I worried about! I find I'm already bombarded with email etc bc im working from home....
I want the chats and the support from like-minded people but I think I could do without the constant posts. Maybe I will start small and see if I can stand it.

Meanwhile I got a friend request from a random person and wondered what the etiquette was on ignoring them or dismissing them. Is it no big deal?
Thx!

tinkerbellang83

k8richer wrote: »

Thanks for your quick reply! Does this mean I basically will get notices on my wall for everything that a friend is up to? So if befriend 20 people im going to get posts on my wall every time 20 people workout or every time they weigh in? Holy smokes. That seems like info overload which is exactly what I worried about! I find I'm already bombarded with email etc bc im working from home....
I want the chats and the support from like-minded people but I think I could do without the constant posts. Maybe I will start small and see if I can stand it.

Meanwhile I got a friend request from a random person and wondered what the etiquette was on ignoring them or dismissing them. Is it no big deal?
Thx!

Perhaps joining some of the Groups might be more beneficial, then you can jump in/jump out when you choose.

Cat0703a

k8richer wrote: »

Thanks for your quick reply! Does this mean I basically will get notices on my wall for everything that a friend is up to? So if befriend 20 people im going to get posts on my wall every time 20 people workout or every time they weigh in? Holy smokes. That seems like info overload which is exactly what I worried about! I find I'm already bombarded with email etc bc im working from home....
I want the chats and the support from like-minded people but I think I could do without the constant posts. Maybe I will start small and see if I can stand it.

Meanwhile I got a friend request from a random person and wondered what the etiquette was on ignoring them or dismissing them. Is it no big deal?
Thx!

Welcome to the community section of MFP. It can be fun, informational, and sometimes a wild ride depending on which forums you are reading. 😆

It depends on the setting of your friends. I only have one setting activated in an area that I need encouragement so it's possible to not get bombarded with a newsfeed of items. I have 20ish friends and see about 6-12 things per day in my newsfeed. Easy to skim and throw a comment or like on. And turn your notifications off...well for the non-important stuff anyways.

As for friend requests from people you don't know...it's up to you what you do (accept, ignore, dismiss) but only do what makes you happy. Personally, if I've had zero interaction with the person, its a dismiss right away. I prefer to give my time and energy to people who I have some form of connection with.

snowflake954

k8richer wrote: »

Thanks for your quick reply! Does this mean I basically will get notices on my wall for everything that a friend is up to? So if befriend 20 people im going to get posts on my wall every time 20 people workout or every time they weigh in? Holy smokes. That seems like info overload which is exactly what I worried about! I find I'm already bombarded with email etc bc im working from home....
I want the chats and the support from like-minded people but I think I could do without the constant posts. Maybe I will start small and see if I can stand it.

Meanwhile I got a friend request from a random person and wondered what the etiquette was on ignoring them or dismissing them. Is it no big deal?
Thx!

You will find that many of your friends aren't active everyday, especially as time goes on and enthusiasm wanes.

k8richer

Thanks everyone for the help!

My next dumb question is : whats a group and how do you join one? I can see forums, and can see posts / discussions. Are those what you call 'groups'?

Cat0703, your approach seems very reasonable to me. I will explore the settings and figure it out.

Cat0703a

k8richer wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the help!

My next dumb question is : whats a group and how do you join one? I can see forums, and can see posts / discussions. Are those what you call 'groups'?

Cat0703, your approach seems very reasonable to me. I will explore the settings and figure it out.

Cool trick, if you want me to see your post rather than stumble upon it, add the @ symbol in front of it, @k8richer. Then when MFP is working correctly, I get a notification when I log into the community that someone has mentioned me. 😊

Now as for groups, I'm not the expert on them but there are some really great ones around. If you are on a desktop computer, go to community then on the dark blue bar you will see "Groups". Maybe choose an active one that appeals to you first so you can get a sense of what groups are. There are ones for recipes, different dieting styles, activity or challenge related ones. Some require an admin to let you in so if you see one or two that interest you, select "Join".

k8richer

I found the groups, thanks everyone! It already feels like I have some friends here

callsitlikeiseeit

k8richer wrote: »

Thanks for your quick reply! Does this mean I basically will get notices on my wall for everything that a friend is up to? So if befriend 20 people im going to get posts on my wall every time 20 people workout or every time they weigh in? Holy smokes. That seems like info overload which is exactly what I worried about! I find I'm already bombarded with email etc bc im working from home....
I want the chats and the support from like-minded people but I think I could do without the constant posts. Maybe I will start small and see if I can stand it.

Meanwhile I got a friend request from a random person and wondered what the etiquette was on ignoring them or dismissing them. Is it no big deal?
Thx!

I scroll right by the routine posts - the days logged in, closed diaries, workouts. I scroll and look for actual content that may be of some interest. you'll also find that if you are adding friends (especially if they are new to mfp) that within a few weeks/ month they disappear. failed new years resolutions and all

Personally, I accept all friend requests. If I then decide they need to be deleted, away they go. Really, the only time I delete is if they are acting inappropriately towards me (my profile is obvious I am happily married and not looking for anyone), if are engaging in unhealthy behaviors (as in under eating on a regular basis or encouraging/promoting things like shakes, meal replacements, etc that are unlikely to work long term) or if they have been inactive a REALLY long time (and even then I have a couple on my friends list that I've had pretty much since I joined 10 years ago almost that haven't been active in awhile but from time to time they pop in to say hi)

k8richer

@callitlikeiseeit, and others - I forgot to say thanks! I'm away to the races and found a good group for me and even a couple of friends (so far).
Happy journeys to you all!