Unsolicited Comments...grrrr

PAPYRUS3

I really wish people would think first before they say stuff. We all make 'mistakes' and say the wrong thing, but I just feel like I need to vent this.

I was standing in the drug store and a complete stranger walked by me and said "Well now, nobody could ever accuse you of being overweight could they??". I'm sure he thought this was a compliment...😐

If I had a sign over my head that said 'cancer' or whatever, this would be the last thing anyone in their right mind would never say to someone....

goal06082021

What a strange word choice. "Accuse"? Like body size isn't something readily apparent to those with functioning eyes, and furthermore, being a particular size is some sort of crime? That guy can get *kitten*ed but good.

Chef_Barbell

How odd... 🤔 People are strange.

AnnPT77

"Nobody could accuse you of being appropriate, could they?" would be tempting . . . .

rheddmobile

I have actually complimented a friend I hadn’t seen in a few years on her weight loss only to learn she had lost the will to eat after her husband’s death. It was embarrassing.

Given that body size is an emotionally-fraught issue, it’s probably best to avoid commenting on others unless we know them well enough to know their goals and desires.

csplatt

rheddmobile wrote: »

I have actually complimented a friend I hadn’t seen in a few years on her weight loss only to learn she had lost the will to eat after her husband’s death. It was embarrassing.

Given that body size is an emotionally-fraught issue, it’s probably best to avoid commenting on others unless we know them well enough to know their goals and desires.

I complimented a college friend once and found out the next day she had spent a semester in France and come back anorexic. Sigh.

Theo166

backhanded compliment. An insult disguised as a compliment.

"It's the way an insult is received that makes it an insult. You can't really give offense unless someone takes it."

In a Harvard Business School paper titled Backhanded Compliments: How Negative Comparisons Undermine Flattery, authors found that "people who deliver backhanded compliments erroneously believe that they will both convey high status and elicit liking… but recipients and third-party evaluators grant them neither."