TDEE/BMR - need some help understanding!!

Hi there, so I'm struggling to keep on track and lose weight. I've just been using MFP standard settings and had it set as:
Weight: 203lbs
Height: 5ft 3
Excerise level: 3 x 30mins a week
Lose: 1lb a week.

But I've barely been hitting the gym recently. I know it's bad but I rely on going with my boyfriend whose became very demotivated lately. Like it's this awful arrangement where he goes to workout with his brother and stepdad and I'm left to go do whatever by myself so I essentially use him as a lift to the gym. But he only goes when they go so if they don't go, we don't go. And lately even he's been like "can't be arsed going" which is a fair point he works in a cafe where he's on his feet all day, where as mine is a sit on your butt all day desk job!

So I changed my profile to:
Exercise: 0
Lose: 2lb a week

Cause the way I'm seeing it is even if I'm only over my 1200 cals at least I'll be set to lose a 1lb where as if I have the setting set to a 1lb I feel like if I eat over I wont lose at all! Anyways, going off track here, I have a MFP friend that keeps going on about this TDEE and I've been reading post after post and it's just not making sense to me. Like the one that give the most information tend to be users who are like body builders/just very muscley and that's just not the outcome I want!

From what I've read it sounds like I need to eat more? but more good stuff? and this is where the nutrients part kick in and once again I feel I hit a brick wall. Because I am a fussy bugger and not made of money either. Just gah! Some have then said you gotta do strength training/weight lifting - it's the key to EVERYTHING.

Basically I just need someone to help explain in human terms if I should start this TDEE, help me work it all out whatever my BMR and TDEE is (because one website gave me 3 different options to chose from), and tell me that I don't have to/won't become all muscley. I don't want KILLER ABS and BANGING BICEPS or whatever, just wanna be slimmer and fitter.

Sorry if I sounded like nasty and what not, just the muscular appearance doesn't appeal to me right now, it might do when I'm a bit slimmer but I'll get to that when it comes to it.

Tell me if my mindset is all wrong, but I'm just so confused with all these conflicting websites and posts. Like don't even get me started on the whole eating back your exercised cals ahhhhh! HEEELLPPP!!!!

Edit's were just spelling changes, my shift key is like split into 2 buttons and it right net to the / so I tend to hit that instead of the shift -.-

Replies

  • sunman00
    sunman00 Posts: 872 Member
    here's some simple :-)

    go to this website, click it to female, move the dials to your details & it'll tell you your TDEE

    http://www.health-calc.com/diet/energy-expenditure-advanced

    subtract 20%, or multiply your TDEE number by 0.8, that number is your daily calorie target to lose 1- 1 1/2 lb per week

    make sure you log everything on your diary, it'll track the calorie intake number for you

    eat & drink what you like but stay under the number

    BUT TRY to cut down/ out cakes, biscuits, crisps, chips etc., they're bad for you on all sorts of levels

    good luck

    oh, and it's very difficult for women to 'bulk'; & downright impossible if you eat below TDEE so don't worry about it
  • imogen__may
    imogen__may Posts: 78 Member
    Don't worry about the strength training darling, I mean its helpful to keep your body moving etc. but the most important bit is staying under your number. You need to get some scales too, make sure you measure and log everything. No guessing, you'll never manage this is you're just guessing. Work out when you can, but rather than hitting the gym maybe think about doing some Zumba, or a dance class? If you could find something local that you can get to independently, I think that would really improve your chances of getting going!

    Rally good luck x
  • swaistle
    swaistle Posts: 119 Member
    Thank you for your answers guys! Really helped! I shall start weighing everything properly and get a tape measure to see if I accomplish any NSV. I think I'll use that pdf on that site to get more accuracy as each day really is different for me. I mean I'm trying this app out called 7 Min Workout which gets you doing stuff like push-ups, crunches etcetc stuff I can manage at home. Even if it's only 7 mins it's still 99 extra calories I'm burning :) I could do it 5 times and it'll total up to 35 mins of working out which is the minimum anyone should do ain't it?

    As for food I have cut down on the junk it's just really chips now that I struggle with, but I've cut down the portion! Just I think I'll find it hard to workout protein, carbs and fat and all that. Especially since one I read listed it as percentages D: but basically I need to find alternatives to salad cause I can't stand salads haha.
  • sunman00
    sunman00 Posts: 872 Member
    you don't need to work out your carbs/ proteins/ fats, MFP sets it for you on your diary

    protein - chicken, red meat, fish, tinned tuna/ salmon, eggs cooked any way :-)

    you'll find that if you manage your proteins & fats the carbs will look after themselves because you can't exceed your daily overall calorie number

    try not to over complicate it :-)
  • swaistle
    swaistle Posts: 119 Member
    you don't need to work out your carbs/ proteins/ fats, MFP sets it for you on your diary

    protein - chicken, red meat, fish, tinned tuna/ salmon, eggs cooked any way :-)

    you'll find that if you manage your proteins & fats the carbs will look after themselves because you can't exceed your daily overall calorie number

    try not to over complicate it :-)

    Ahright thank you very much!
  • beckywilliams1967
    beckywilliams1967 Posts: 58 Member
    Bump
  • drefaw
    drefaw Posts: 739
    you need to go check this out.. It will have you on your way in no time. As you WILL need to tweak the MFP macros, if you want to meet your goals, and this will give you a better understanding of it all ......Use the links from this post also....SideSteel knows his stuff...

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/818082-exercise-calories-again-wtf
  • swaistle
    swaistle Posts: 119 Member
    My friend forwarded me this link too! It's explains how it works out in human terms! Very good! Where do these links hide!!

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet
  • GrannyGwen1
    GrannyGwen1 Posts: 213 Member
    BUMP