Unsupportive spouse

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  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    heather9986hg wrote: »
    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    heather9986hg wrote: »
    Andia15 wrote: »
    If he doesn't believe you can or will do it, prove him wrong. Support yourself and you'll get lots of support here too. If you want to add me, I'll support you. You can message me any time. Honestly, my partner is amazing but when I say I'm eating better and trying to lose a few lbs he laughs and says again or I heard that before. I laugh him off because I know success is falling down 8 times and getting up 9. You can do anything you put your mind to, with or without your partners support.

    I don't think that it's that he doesn't think I can do it-ive lost over 100 pounds- I think it's more jealousy or not wanting me to lose weight
    He says I'm skinny-I am not because by bmi I'm obese
    I'm size 14-16 when we met I was size 12
    So I'm not sure if he just likes me at this weight or it's jealousy
    I'm trying to work with a woman whose a dietician and I don't want to go behind his back and hide it but I really want to do this and get back to 180...

    ahh gotcha.

    i think the best thing you can do is REASSURE him that you love HIM and you are not doing this for ANYONE other than YOU. Hes scared you'll lose weight and leave. its quite common, actually.

    Sometimes (and guys, don't take offense lol), a gentle hand is needed and a little extra TLC. men's egos can be very fragile (as can womens, don't get me wrong). Make time for the two of you. Date night. doesn't even have to be a meal. try to find ways to let him know, you are there to stay and he is who you want to be with <3

    Thanks for understanding
    With our work schedules we really don't get that much time together when we are off but we still try to get time we watch movies ect
    And yes I think he worries if I lose the weight I'll leave and I don't know how to help that but that isn't my plan
    I have an obese sister and I just see how it affects her health
    I also work at a job on my feet and I know that if I gain more weight and let if get out of control that will make my job more difficult if that makes sense

    definitely make the time to spend together, enjoying each other. you need to create (if you don't have) and maintain (if you do) that connection. Let him know you seeing your sisters health deeriorating, is the driving focus because you don't want to be like that.

    My husband did not know me at my heaviest weight (but has seen photos) but did meet me at my lowest. And I'm 50 over that, currently. He loved me equally at both. HE gives ZERO opinions on my weight or health (unless he has a true concern). He knows I want to lose the weight again for ME. not for him. Not for anyone else. Anything I do regarding or for my health, is my decision. My weight, going to a therapist, how I eat... all of these things he knows I am doing because I want to. I know not all men are like that. But TALK to him. I think that is what this might come down to. Simple communication.
  • katierthanmost
    katierthanmost Posts: 25 Member
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    Because I'm a heartless *kitten*, I wouldn't take any notice.

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