I don't want to eat anymore.

Tiptoetherat
Tiptoetherat Posts: 56 Member
in Food and Nutrition
Yea, title says it all. After over 10 years of fighting with food and diets I'm really done with it. Pretty much EVERYTHING tastes bad to me now. If it wasn't for hunger pains I'm pretty sure I would just starve myself to death at this point.

"Go see a therapist!!" I can hear some of you saying. Well I have, the pills they gave me did nothing but make me feel worse.

Ive gone from trying to figure out what diet to use to reach my goals to trying to figure out how to kill my sense of taste, or what it would take to get a feeding tube installed. I hear COVID can kill your sense of taste...but I'm not that crazy..yet.

Replies

  • gigius72
    gigius72 Posts: 183 Member
    You need to find what works for you. A therapist can help, but you have to find the way you like living inside of you.
    I did years of calorie counting and gym with a dietician. It worked trust me. Nothing was banned. The only thing the dietician asked me was what food I didn't like so he would take it out of his eating plan. I got to 160lbs with a good muscle structure.
    But that was not my life. I got tired of weighing everything everyday. I was a slave of the scale. I quit exercising and started eating all I wanted. I went quickly up to 300lbs.
    Someone introduced me to plant based and I found out how to lose weight with no scale. Now I see food like a pair of jeans... Something I need, but I really don't use it as a means of pleasure.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    A therapist does not give pills. a Psychiatrist does. A shrink may or may not make a good therapist.

    Id second the advice to find a new therapist. One that you like and click with and who will not try to cover issues with pills. pills did nothing for me. finding a good therapist, DID.

    My current psychiatrist would make an abysmal therapist, lol. Fortunately, I just need him for meds and he is retiring this summer.

    I started getting anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds in the 90s and most of them were horrible. Finally, with the advent of the internet, I was able to do my own research and found an AD that works great for me - Wellbutrin. There are many different ADs and it's worth experimenting until you find something that works.

    Shrinks might not try hard enough to find the right AD because depression is not immediately dangerous. Well, it can be, if severe enough.

    My brother's doctors take his medication needs more seriously because he is a danger to others when he is psychotic. And he also has my mother, a retired social worker, to advocate for him.

    I'd had my issues under control until the pandemic hit, my stress levels shot through the roof, and my usual coping mechanisms were not working.

    Because of the expansion in tele-health, I was able to get a therapist really quickly. While she was somewhat helpful, she turned out to be an intern and there was only so far we could go. I've had interns before with the same result. I should have learned to insist on no interns. Now I have a real doctor and we are making real progress. In fact, she said to me last time, "Why do you need therapy again?" (She's fond of the Socratic method.)

    266050-425x274-virtual-hug-07.png

    wellbutrin was like popping pez for all the good it did me LOL

    I have klonopin for anxiety (as needed) but a rx of 10 pills lasts me a year or longer. its effective but I'm pretty sure its effective because it puts me to sleep, so I no longer am awake to care LOL




  • SailorDoom88
    SailorDoom88 Posts: 14 Member
    While I echo the advice above to look for a therapist or a specialist to help you out with these difficulties, I know it's hard to make that happen overnight. I have another suggestion that may be useful in the meantime.

    I am not sure if this will be helpful in your situation (or suit your specific needs), but a friend of mine went through some similar struggles lately with food. It was a different situation for sure -- he was under a lot of stress, had lost his appetite, and was sporadically eating....unconventional, shall we say (think stuff like just a bag of baby carrots, or just bread with peanut butter repeatedly for days at a time)....foods that weren't really offering him a lot of nutritional value. He recognized he was having some disordered behavior around eating. For a young, healthy-seeming guy, he had a lot of health consequences in a short time and he realized he couldn't keep going like that.

    To break himself out of this pattern and make sure he was getting his minimal nutritional needs met, he began drinking Soylent (it's a meal replacement that offers some basic nutrition). I think they make a flavored version, but the ones he got were flavorless and he felt like he didn't need to think about eating...it was more reflexive with no emotional element. He started seeing some improvements in his physical and mental health and went back to a more conventional eating pattern after a few weeks of the meal replacement. Since then, he has gotten some help with his stress issues too, so this sort of served as a stopgap to get him through a tough time.

    Anyway, OP, my point isn't to try to "sell" you on a particular meal replacement brand or something, but because I want you to make sure you have your basic needs being met, even if you're not thriving and loving food right now. Maybe taking away the emotional energy around food for a little while will help you focus your efforts on getting some more "big picture" help as the other folks here have suggested. Please take care of yourself...I'm sending you all the hugs and positivity I can through the screen.
  • Strudders67
    Strudders67 Posts: 989 Member
    Are there foods you'd like to eat but feel you can't or shouldn't because they don't fit with your diet? Perhaps a diet break / eating at maintenance for a period may help - eat foods that you like, but in smaller portions so that you're not over-eating? Have a break from dieting whilst you get back on track mentally. There's so much going on in the world right now and many people are finding it tough, some are finding it tougher than others. I can only wish you well.
  • AliciaHollywood
    AliciaHollywood Posts: 102 Member
    I’m not sure if we’re in the same situation, probably not, but lately I literally forget to eat. There were days I think that all I’d eat was some air popped popcorn and maybe an apple. Then I started tracking to make sure I am eating enough to get enough nutrients. I’m using another app (MyNetDiary pro) that tracks detailed nutrients and I force myself to eat enough to fill all nutritional needs even if I’m not hungry. I want to be healthy and especially keep up my immunity and Google every food to get the biggest bang for my buck. But in your case, if you don’t even have the desire to be healthy, then that is a whole other situation.

    I don’t know your relationship with food. Mine is all about health. I have no interest in junk food but am obsessed with nutrition. As others said, seek therapy, but for now if you can, look at it as a game where you have to fill all the nutritional slots to win. Google all foods for highest health benefits and superfoods and only buy those to keep in your house. Even if you’re not hungry force yourself to eat them. Think of every bite as medicine for your body, your cells, your brain, bones, hair, skin... The real point of food is that it’s fuel for survival and thriving. It was never meant to be a form of entertainment. All the crap manufacturers put in it to make it taste “better” is what has destroyed America’s health. If you haven’t eaten healthy in the past, this is a great time to start. But I get the feeling your problems go beyond food so please do get therapy.
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  • Strudders67
    Strudders67 Posts: 989 Member
    Tiptoetherat wrote: »
    Strudders67 wrote: »
    Are there foods you'd like to eat but feel you can't or shouldn't because they don't fit with your diet? Perhaps a diet break / eating at maintenance for a period may help - eat foods that you like, but in smaller portions so that you're not over-eating? Have a break from dieting whilst you get back on track mentally. There's so much going on in the world right now and many people are finding it tough, some are finding it tougher than others. I can only wish you well.

    Sadly no. I USED to like certain foods, but for various reasons I hate it all now. I out and out resent that I have to eat and find myself feeling angry that I do. Give me a pill I can swallow, a potion I could drink, or a feeding tube please.

    A flippant reply, I know, but I'm not entirely sure you'd like those either.

    Do you know WHY you dislike food? Is there something else going on in your life that you are suppressing feelings about and taking it out as a dislike to eat? I'm not medically trained in any way and can't help, but I truly hope you can find your way passed this and rediscover the joy that food can bring.

    Although very different, a friend had Covid recently and lost his sense of taste and smell -but still had his appetite. I'd be so upset if that were me. All the lovely food I have in my freezer! I can't imagine eating any of it and not being able to taste it. That's half the reason for eating. Should I be unfortunate enough to catch this virus, I'd have to eat bland foods that meet my nutritional requirements until I regained my taste and smell. However, I still like food. Perhaps you could do the same though. Until you are able to see a professional who can actually help, eat meals that ensure you get sufficient calories to sustain you. Meal replacement shakes, a large plate of pasta with protein and veg and some supplements may be sufficient. I don't know, but that would be my suggestion and would go a little way towards your idea of a pill and potion.

    Are there other areas of life that you can explore which may bring a spark of joy into your life? Perhaps walking somewhere different each day? Take up a new exercise? Call or email old friends and reconnect with people you've lost touch with? Pick up an old hobby? These may distract you from other negative and angry thoughts going on.

    Again, I can only wish you well.
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  • Speakeasy76
    Speakeasy76 Posts: 961 Member
    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I am not a dietician or psychologist, but do have a knowledge of feeding/eating disorders because of my profession.

    This is just one more suggestion,but have you heard of the term Avoidant/Restrictive Good Intake Disorder, or ARFID? This is a relatively new diagnosis, and unfortunately, many doctors and probably psychologists are probably unfamiliar with it. When healthcare professionals don't know a lot about a topic or how to treat it, my own experience is that they give solutions that don't "fix" the actual problem at all, and also don't admit they don't know how to fix it.

    If you are wanting to get help, it may be worthwhile to just call up psychologists, occupational therapists and speech therapists to see if they have experience with ARFID, and if not, can refer you to someone who does.

    I hope you don't give up on yourself, and can find actual, genuine help.
  • Strudders67
    Strudders67 Posts: 989 Member
    I'm glad to hear that you are eating, even if you don't want to and don't like anything you eat. If you're mostly drinking your food, have you investigated different soups? Perhaps even making your own, just by chopping loads of veg and cooking in a vegetable stock before mashing or blending?

    In addition to what Speakeasy76 suggests, it might also be worth investigating medical hypnosis. I think at the point you're at, I'd be trying anything and everything to find a solution, which in itself would be draining. I just wonder if hypnosis could switch off the bit of your brain that tells you that nice tasting food is bad and that you should spit it out. And yes, I get your point that you've already spoken to a dozen different doctors, which is beyond frustrating. Fingers crossed that the next medical person you speak to is someone who does understand and can help.
  • w1ndyk
    w1ndyk Posts: 9 Member
    Have you considered seeking treatment for an eating disorder? I'm not sure, but it sounds like your relationship with food is disordered in some way. Eating disorder treatment typically involves meeting with a therapist as well, so may help you discover why you feel the way you do about food.

    I think this is a problem that you or any of your doctors may be unable to solve until you get to the root of why you feel the way that you do. While most health professionals may be clueless about what you are going through, someone who specializes in the treatment of eating disorders probably has either experience or knowledge through education and colleagues about what you are experiencing and can hopefully offer help or ways for you to cope with and reframe your feelings about food.

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